2013年《江蘇高考英語考試說明》指出：書面表達的考查是要求考生根據(jù)所給情景用英語寫一篇150個單詞左右的短文，提供情景的形式如圖表、圖畫……等?？磮D作文的“圖”不局限于某一類型的圖，如漫畫、廣告畫，也包括其他圖畫、照片等。從近幾年命題趨勢來看，圖畫作文的概率較大，因為圖畫的選材更靈活，具有不可猜測性，有利于凸顯高考的公平性。漫畫是一種典型的圖畫形式，具有豐富的內(nèi)涵，是一種直觀、形象、新穎的反映社會生活動態(tài)的情景材料。漫畫作文不僅要求考生具有較強的用英語傳遞信息和表達思想的能力，更要求考生具有較強的讀圖、解意、謀篇的能力。因此，漫畫作文是要求最高的一種考查形式，我們必須高度重視，有備無患。

根據(jù)以下示例，我們來談?wù)勅绾未蛟煲黄哔|(zhì)量的漫畫作文。

一些家長認為沒有什么比孩子的教育更重要，為此采取了一系列的措施，他們的做法引起了諸多爭論。請你結(jié)合下面的漫畫，以Parental Expectations為題寫一篇短文。

注意：

1. 對漫畫進行簡要的描述；

2. 談?wù)勥@一現(xiàn)象產(chǎn)生的原因以及你對這一現(xiàn)象的看法；

3. 詞數(shù)150左右。

解題攻略：

第一步，讀圖（Topic）。

1. 研讀圖畫，找準(zhǔn)主題。漫畫的標(biāo)題（有時沒有），即題目，往往告知或暗示漫畫的主題思想。這幅漫畫的題目“Parental Expectations”是文章的眼睛，即主題。

2. 觀察畫面，捕捉細節(jié)。畫面中的細節(jié)是漫畫各“因素”構(gòu)成的情景，包括父母、孩子、大書包、各種學(xué)習(xí)用品等。

3. 聯(lián)系內(nèi)容，分析寓意。圖畫中的父母親正在源源不斷地向書包里添加各種學(xué)習(xí)用品，獎杯等，高度近視的小孩被壓得喘不過氣來。巨大的書包，正是夸張之處，也是漫畫的弦外之音，揭示漫畫的寓意：父母的高期望值和對孩子的過大的壓力。

第二步，解意（Theme）。

1. 辨明褒貶，找準(zhǔn)角度。對父母的思想和行為應(yīng)當(dāng)持批判態(tài)度，切中要害。

2. 挖掘內(nèi)涵，形成觀點。簡要分析形成該現(xiàn)象的原因，列舉解決問題的做法。

第三步，謀篇（Organization）。

1. 描述圖畫（第一段）。簡明扼要、恰如其分地描述圖畫內(nèi)容（發(fā)現(xiàn)問題）。

2. 闡述原因（第二段）。結(jié)合主題，有針對性地陳述客觀原因（分析問題）。

3. 列舉措施（第三段）。聯(lián)系實際，合理有效地提供具體做法（解決問題）。

我們在認真審題完成初稿后，至少還要做兩件事：

1.“求正確”，即：改正基本的錯誤。例如：單詞拼寫錯誤，時態(tài)、語態(tài)、句式結(jié)構(gòu)等語法錯誤，標(biāo)點符號錯誤等。

2.“求完美”，即：做些潤飾工作。例如：語言地道自然，適當(dāng)運用高級詞匯，運用多樣化的句型，力求語篇銜接連貫，增加一些點綴性的副詞等。

現(xiàn)以學(xué)生習(xí)作Parental Expectations一文點評如下。

Parental Expectations

原文

Nowadays， more and more parents have great expectations for our children.

As is vividly shown in the picture， a boy is burdened with a big schoolbag full of so many equipments for study， so he can not breath. However， though the boy is tired and miserable， his parents still pushed him to acquire some more skills.

This picture is common， which has arisen social concern. There are many reasons account for it. To begin with， many parents insist that nothing is more important than good education. Besides， they think that only by developing children in an allround way they can ensure their future.

As far as Im concerned， we students should work hard. Therefore， its necessary for us to study and entertain. Without good health， freedom and happiness， we will not be able to learn well. So its high time to reduce childrens heavy burdens from schools， society and parents. So we will we develop proper.

修改第一稿（求正確）Nowadays， more and more parents have great expectations for ① our us children.

As is vividly shown in the picture， a boy is burdened with a big schoolbag full of so ② many equipments much equipment for study， so he can not ③ breath breathe. However， though the boy is tired and miserable， his parents ④ are still pushed pushing him to acquire some more skills.

This picture is common， which has ⑤ arisen aroused social concern. There are many reasons ⑥ account accounting for it. To begin with， many parents insist that nothing ⑦ is should be more important than good education. Besides， they think that only by developing children in an allround way ⑧ they can can they ensure their future.

As far as Im concerned， we students should work hard. ⑨ Therefore Nevertheless， its necessary for us to study and 1① us是介詞for的賓語，children是us的同位語。our children是漢式英語，有歧義，表示我們的孩子。

② equipment是不可數(shù)名詞，用much來修飾。

③ breath是名詞，breathe是動詞作謂語。

④ 漫畫展示的是社會現(xiàn)象，一般用現(xiàn)在時態(tài)，此處用現(xiàn)在進行時顯得惟妙惟肖。

⑤ arise是不及物動詞，表示“升起、出現(xiàn)”；arouse是及物動詞，表示“喚起”。

⑥ accounting for是現(xiàn)在分詞短語，作reasons的定語。

⑦ insist表示“堅持認為”，賓語從句要用虛擬語氣，其謂語是（should） be。

⑧ only修飾介詞短語放在句首，句子要用部分倒裝。

⑨ Therefore 表示“因此”，Nevertheless表示entertain. Without good health， freedom and happiness， we will not be able to learn well. So its high time to reduce childrens heavy burdens from schools， society and parents. So we will we develop ⑩ proper properly.1“然而”，此處與前一句構(gòu)成轉(zhuǎn)折意義。

⑩ 用副詞properly修飾謂語動詞develop。修改第二稿（求完美）Nowadays， more and more parents have great expectations for us children.

As is vividly shown in the picture， ① a boy is burdened with a big heavy schoolbag full of so much equipment for study， so he a boy with thick glasses can not hardly breathe freely. However， ② though the boy is tired and miserable as the boy is， his parents are still pushing him to acquire some more skills.

This picture ③ is common mirrors a common phenomenon， which has aroused social concern. There are many reasons accounting for it. To begin with， many parents insist that nothing should be more important than good education. Besides， they ④ think hold the opinion that only by developing children in an allround way can they ensure their ⑤ smooth future.

As far as Im concerned， ⑥ there is no denying that we students should work hard. Nevertheless， its ⑦ necessary essential for us to keep a balance between study and entertain entertainment. Without good health， freedom and happiness， we ⑧ will would not be able to learn well efficiently. So its high time ⑨ to reduce that we reduced childrens heavy burdens from schools， society and parents. ⑩ So we will No one can deny that only in this way will we develop properly.

1① burdened with…是過去分詞短語作狀語；heavy比big更形象準(zhǔn)確；添加with thick glasses映襯主題；hardly和freely是副詞，具有點綴作用；這樣修改，對漫畫的描述顯得概括凝煉，維妙維肖，入木三分。

② adj. + as + 主語 + 謂語，倒裝結(jié)構(gòu)表示讓步。

③ mirrors a common phenomenon反映了一種社會現(xiàn)象，措詞高級。

④ hold the opinion更能顯示父母親根深蒂固的觀點，opinion后成了同位語從句。

⑤ 添加smooth， 表示前途光明。

⑥ there is no denying that表示“不可否認”，相比后文，顯得欲揚先抑。

⑦ essential是高級詞匯；添加keep a balance between，表達更到位，更準(zhǔn)確。

⑧ 因為without而用虛擬語氣；efficiently表示“有效地”。

⑨ its high time that后接虛擬語氣，謂語動詞用reduced或者should reduce。

⑩ 經(jīng)過這樣修改，總結(jié)文章更有震撼力；No one can deny 雙重否定，only in this way will we是倒裝。（作者：汪建華，南通大學(xué)附屬中學(xué)）