張 潔 王書珊

（江蘇省天一中學(xué)）

“慢慢來(lái)，才能快點(diǎn)走！”看似自相矛盾，其實(shí)和英語(yǔ)諺語(yǔ)“More haste, less speed.”（欲速則不達(dá)）類似，蘊(yùn)含大道理。尤其在英語(yǔ)書面表達(dá)訓(xùn)練中，只有平時(shí)慢慢品、慢慢背、慢慢仿，寫前審題環(huán)節(jié)慢慢讀、細(xì)細(xì)審，才能在動(dòng)筆寫的環(huán)節(jié)思路順暢、快快寫，順利完成。下面以2023 年新課標(biāo)Ⅰ卷為例分享幾點(diǎn)高中英語(yǔ)書面表達(dá)技巧。

一、 應(yīng)用文寫作

假定你是李華，外教Ryan 準(zhǔn)備將學(xué)生隨機(jī)分為兩人一組，讓大家課后練習(xí)口語(yǔ)，你認(rèn)為這樣分組存在問題。請(qǐng)你給外教寫一封郵件，內(nèi)容包括：

（1）說(shuō)明問題；

（2）提出建議。

從體裁上看，此應(yīng)用文屬于“建議信”，是對(duì)有關(guān)問題或困惑進(jìn)行深入分析并針對(duì)此問題提出自己看法和建議的書信。因此，在平時(shí)的訓(xùn)練中，我們首先要慢慢品味建議信的書寫格式、慢慢背誦積累一些提出建議的常用句型、慢慢學(xué)著仿寫建議信。

通過研讀多封建議信我們可發(fā)現(xiàn)，建議信要語(yǔ)言懇切，禮貌委婉，言之有理，有說(shuō)服力，并且提出的建議要契合實(shí)際，能幫助有效解決實(shí)際問題或困惑。關(guān)于建議信的寫作，我們可以從以下幾個(gè)方面進(jìn)行：

（一）慢慢感知建議信文體特征

建議信一般使用第一、二人稱，時(shí)態(tài)以一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)為主。學(xué)生們?cè)诼涔P前需要確定好每一段的中心內(nèi)容，列出提綱，從而避免跑題。

Para 1：收到來(lái)信，得知……（問題）；安慰；寫作目的（提建議）

Para 2：具體的建議與理由

Para 3：希望采納并祝福；期待情況改善

學(xué)生們完成總體結(jié)構(gòu)后，就可以拿到基本分了，接下來(lái)我們一起來(lái)看一下如何進(jìn)行表達(dá)的升級(jí)并為總體的寫作錦上添花。

（二）慢慢背誦并積累相關(guān)表達(dá)

（1）寫信目的：

a.I am very glad to have received your letter concerning your plan to pay a visit to China next week.I can’t wait to offer my personal suggestions.

b.You have asked me for my advice with regard to how to learn English, and I will try to offer some suggestions here.

c.I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing difficulty in fitting in with your new class.Such problems are quite common.Perhaps the following suggestions will be of some help to you.

（2）具體建議與理由：

a.I think it would be beneficial if you could do...

b.It is strongly suggested/recommended that you should do...

c.When it comes to such a situation, I would like to suggest that...For one thing...For another...Additionally...

d.Firstly, it would be nice to do...Secondly, it couldn’t be better if you could do...Last but not least, you’d better do...

e.To begin with, it’s of great necessity to do...Moreover, ...is also an advantage.In addition,you’re highly recommended to do...

f.As far as I am concerned/From my point of view/perspective, it is a great idea to do...Besides, I strongly advise you to do...What’s more, you can...

（3）希望采納并祝福：

a.I firmly believe that you will take my suggestions into account.Whatever you decide to do, good luck with your studies/work!

b.I sincerely hope my advice will be of some help to your decision-making.Please let me know if there is more I can do to help.

c.I am strongly convinced that you can overcome the difficulty if you adopt these suggestions.Looking forward to your good news.

（三）慢慢學(xué)會(huì)舉例擴(kuò)展與因果擴(kuò)展

一些同學(xué)在建議信寫作中，往往提出一些過于抽象而不夠具體的建議。他們提出的建議如空中樓閣，難以給收信人具體的實(shí)踐指導(dǎo)，或者僅僅提出建議，而不向收信人具體解釋這樣做的原因。這兩點(diǎn)都導(dǎo)致學(xué)生們寫出的應(yīng)用文內(nèi)容上浮于表面，不夠落地，且缺乏說(shuō)服力，進(jìn)而使這種實(shí)用性文體失去了傳遞信息的功能。

（1）時(shí)間安排

I s u g g e s t y o u schedule your time wisely.給建議添加具體的例子：…, including setting aside specific time for your studying and playing and balancing your schoolwork with other activities.

（2）舉辦活動(dòng)

I recommend that various activities should be organized.給建議添加具體的例子：…, ranging from lectures on popular science to meetings where writers can communicate face to face.

（3）欄目調(diào)整

I think a 10-minute English news brief should be broadcast before the class begins.給建議添加原因：…, which will help students get to know domestic and international affairs and improve their listening skills.

（4）提高學(xué)習(xí)效率

Make sure to get enough sleep.給建議添加原因：…It is at night that all the information you learn during the day is processed, so a good sleep is crucial.

給建議添加原因：Not only does exercise build up your body, but also it helps you relax and refresh your mind, making you memorize what you have learnt faster and longer.You are advised to take part in sports.

下面我們將以2023 年新課標(biāo)Ⅰ卷應(yīng)用文為例，將整個(gè)答題過程分為“細(xì)審題，穩(wěn)謀篇，巧成文，慢檢查”四個(gè)步驟。

1.細(xì)審題

審題是應(yīng)用文寫作的第一步，也是最重要的環(huán)節(jié)之一。本次高考考題的內(nèi)容是學(xué)生寫給外教老師的建議信，內(nèi)容是指出外教口語(yǔ)分組方法的問題并提出建議，非常貼近學(xué)生生活。

2.穩(wěn)謀篇

本文應(yīng)以一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)為主，人稱上以第一、二人稱為主。段落安排如下：

Para 1：自我介紹+寫信目的

Para 2：指出分組可能存在的問題

Para 3：提出建議并表達(dá)希望采納

需要注意的是，在指出問題時(shí)，態(tài)度應(yīng)該誠(chéng)懇而非責(zé)備；在提出建議時(shí)，策略應(yīng)該具體且與問題匹配。

3.巧成文

根據(jù)行文邏輯增加一些必要的過渡詞，使表達(dá)更加連貫緊湊，如：if、supposing 表假設(shè)，by contrast、on the contrary表比較，as a result,consequently, therefore 表因果等。同時(shí)也可以使用一些高級(jí)句式與表達(dá)，如倒裝句、強(qiáng)調(diào)句、從句、非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞等，使句式變化更加豐富，傳遞更多信息，舉例如下：

In any pair, one student may be more confident and talkative, which means he or she will be in a dominant position in the conversation while the other one will be reluctant to voice his or her opinions.(從句)

Students should be carefully divided according to their language abilities, thus enabling them to practice oral English more efficiently.(非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞)

True as it is that pairing up students randomly is beneficial to interaction between students, there might be some potential problems.(倒裝句)

To address these issues, would it be possible to implement some guidelines for the practice sessions?Setting a time limit for each student to speak or assigning a specific topic would help guarantee equal participation.(高級(jí)表達(dá))

4.慢檢查

成文后，考生不要著急做后面的題目，而要對(duì)習(xí)作進(jìn)行細(xì)致的檢查，這主要包括：

（1）要點(diǎn)是否齊全；

（2）段落安排是否合理；

（3）人稱、時(shí)態(tài)是否一致；

（4）句子結(jié)構(gòu)是否正確。

除此之外，只有書寫規(guī)范、卷面整潔，才能為書面表達(dá)錦上添花，贏得高分。這些看似“慢”的步驟，實(shí)則保證學(xué)生高質(zhì)量完成應(yīng)用文寫作任務(wù)。

下面我們以學(xué)生習(xí)作具體評(píng)析：

Practical writing （應(yīng)用文）Self-assessment Peer-assessment Teacher-assessment A: good B: Okay C: Poor Content State problems A A A Make suggestions A A B Language Use proper ways to make suggestions B B B Use rich vocabulary and varied sentence patterns B B B Coherence&Appropriateness Use linking words A A A Appropriate tone A A A My favorite表達(dá)如function meaninglessly, take...into account;句式如倒裝句not only...but also..., 強(qiáng)調(diào)句it is...that...。句式如Knowing that...，which 引導(dǎo)非限制定從等。My advice 有一些表達(dá)出錯(cuò)。表達(dá)比較豐富，能基本滿足應(yīng)用文的寫作目的；有些表達(dá)不正確，如you’d be intended for the mistakes。有些表達(dá)可升級(jí)，如make students pronouncing well and students pronouncing bad in one group 可升級(jí)為group students according to their oral English proficiency;最后一點(diǎn)建議不夠具體，且缺乏針對(duì)性。

二、讀后續(xù)寫寫作

閱讀下面材料, 根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫兩段, 使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

When I was in middle school, my social studies teacher asked me to enter a writing contest.I said no without thinking.I did not love writing.My family came from Brazil, so English was only my second language.Writing was so difficult and painful for me that my teacher had allowed me to present my paper on the sinking of the Titanic by acting out a play, where I played all the parts.No one laughed harder than he did.

So, why did he suddenly force me to do something at which I was sure to fail? His reply:“Because I love your stories.If you’re willing to apply yourself, I think you have a good shot at this.”Encouraged by his words, I agreed to give it a try.

I chose Paul Revere’s horse as my subject.Paul Revere was a silversmith (銀匠) in Boston who rode a horse at night on April 18, 1775 to Lexington to warn people that British soldiers were coming.My story would come straight from the horse’s mouth.Not a brilliant idea, but funny; and unlikely to be anyone else’s choice.

What did the horse think, as he sped through the night? Did he get tired? Have doubts? Did he want to quit? I sympathized immediately.I got tired.I had doubts.I wanted to quit.But, like Revere’s horse, I kept going.I worked hard.I checked my spelling.I asked my older sister to correct my grammar.I checked out a half dozen books on Paul Revere from the library.I even read a few of them.

When I handed in the essay to my teacher, he read it, laughed out loud, and said,“Great.Now,write it again.”I wrote it again, and again and again.When I finally finished it, the thought of winning had given way to the enjoyment of writing.If I didn’t win,I wouldn’t care.

注意：

1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150 個(gè)左右；

2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

Paragraph 1：

A few weeks later, when I almost forgot the contest,there came the news.____________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2：

I went to my teacher’s office after the award presentation.__________________________________________________________________________

本續(xù)寫材料以人物為線索展開，講述了作者上中學(xué)的時(shí)候，社會(huì)學(xué)老師邀請(qǐng)作者參加一個(gè)英文寫作比賽。作為一個(gè)巴西人，英語(yǔ)是作者的第二語(yǔ)言，且作者不喜歡寫作，于是作者想都沒想就拒絕了。但是在老師的鼓勵(lì)下，作者同意試一試。作者在寫作過程中雖然很累，但是沒有放棄，堅(jiān)持下來(lái)了。在作者最終完成寫作時(shí)，作者感到寫作讓他很快樂，比賽輸贏已不再重要。

從內(nèi)容上看，此續(xù)寫主題語(yǔ)境為“人與自我”，屬于“學(xué)習(xí)與生活、做人與做事”主題群，倡導(dǎo)我們?cè)谄綍r(shí)的學(xué)習(xí)生活中遇到挫折不要輕言放棄，要培養(yǎng)勇敢面對(duì)、堅(jiān)持到底的品質(zhì)。因此，我們?cè)谄綍r(shí)訓(xùn)練中，首先要養(yǎng)成根據(jù)“主題語(yǔ)境”和特定話題來(lái)慢慢積累的習(xí)慣。

關(guān)于“勇敢面對(duì)挑戰(zhàn)、堅(jiān)持不放棄”的話題表達(dá)積累我們可以嘗試從以下幾方面進(jìn)行：

（一）慢慢創(chuàng)建自己的話題“詞匯場(chǎng)”：

（二）慢慢積累話題相關(guān)的動(dòng)作、情緒描寫和小對(duì)話：

（1）Though frustrated after failing several times, he collected himself, gritted his teeth and moved on.(盡管失敗多次之后有些沮喪，他還是振作起來(lái)，咬緊牙關(guān)，繼續(xù)前行。)

（2）With watery eyes, she threw her arms tightly around Mary who encouraged her all the way,words failing at the very moment.（眼里含著淚，她緊緊抱住一直鼓勵(lì)和支持她的Mary, 說(shuō)不出話來(lái)。）

（3）“Come on! Give it a shot.You can make it!”（加油！試一試，你能行?。?/p>

（4）“Nothing is impossible for a willing heart.”（心之所愿，無(wú)所不成。）

（5）“Dear, remember to have confidence in yourself.Everyone’s potential is endless.”（親愛的，記住要相信自己，每個(gè)人的潛力是無(wú)限的。）

（三）慢慢收集豐富多樣的話題句式：

（1） It was Jane’s persistent efforts and strong faith that paved the way for realizing her dream.（強(qiáng)調(diào)句：是堅(jiān)持不懈的努力和強(qiáng)烈的信念為她實(shí)現(xiàn)夢(mèng)想鋪平了道路。）

（2）So moved was she that she said in a trembling voice,“Without your support and encouragement, I wouldn’t have made it today.”（部分倒裝和虛擬語(yǔ)氣：她非常感動(dòng)，聲音顫抖地說(shuō)：“沒有你的支持和鼓勵(lì)，今天我不可能成功?！保?/p>

（3）As long as we dare to dream and don’t let difficulties get in our way, anything is possible.(狀語(yǔ)從句：只要我們敢于夢(mèng)想，不被困難所阻擋，一切皆有可能。)

（4）Determination and optimism are what it takes to conquer your fear and accomplish your goal.（名詞性從句：戰(zhàn)勝恐懼和實(shí)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)需要決心和樂觀。）

（四） 慢慢累積閱讀的寬度與廣度：

（1）On his way home, Jordan was quiet.He kept thinking about Alice’s words: Think outside the box.There’s hidden potential in everyday items.在回家的路上，Jordan 很安靜。他不斷地在想Alice 說(shuō)的話：“打破思維定式，在日常生活中就充滿潛力?！保ㄕ?023 年廣州二模卷讀后續(xù)寫)

（2）And I believe no matter how steep the mountain is, there will always be a climb for the people who do not fear the difficulty.我相信，無(wú)論山有多陡，不怕困難的人總能找到上山的路。（摘自完形填空）

（3）Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals.Grit is having stamina.Grit is sticking with your future, day in, and day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years,and working really hard to make that future a reality.Grit is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.毅力是對(duì)長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)目標(biāo)的激情和堅(jiān)持，毅力是擁有持久的恒勁，毅力是你對(duì)未來(lái)的堅(jiān)持，日復(fù)一日，不僅僅是一星期，不僅僅是一個(gè)月，而是數(shù)年的堅(jiān)持，努力奮斗著讓自己的夢(mèng)想變?yōu)楝F(xiàn)實(shí)。毅力是把生活當(dāng)成一場(chǎng)馬拉松，而不是一次短跑。（摘自TED 演講：The power of passion and perseverance)

（4）As the saying goes,“Rome wasn’t built in a day.”and“Constant dripping wears away a stone.”It takes time and effort to achieve your goals,and progress is not made overnight.俗話說(shuō):“羅馬不是一天建成的。”和“滴水穿石”。實(shí)現(xiàn)你的目標(biāo)需要時(shí)間和努力，進(jìn)步不是一蹴而就的。

（5）Some people say that both persistence and giving up require effort, but the former’s effort will make life better and the latter’s will cause life to stagnate.有人說(shuō)，堅(jiān)持和放棄都需要努力，但前者的努力會(huì)讓生活更美好，后者的努力會(huì)讓生活停滯。

（6）On the road to improvement, we are never short of plans and actions.But what is more precious than action and plan is the ability to persist in our choices when we cannot see the results.在進(jìn)步的道路上，我們從不缺乏計(jì)劃和行動(dòng)。但是，比行動(dòng)和計(jì)劃更寶貴的是，當(dāng)我們看不到結(jié)果時(shí)，堅(jiān)持選擇的能力。（摘自美文：It’s not hard to give up,but persistence must be cool）

其次，我們?cè)趧?dòng)筆續(xù)寫前，審題環(huán)節(jié)至關(guān)重要。慢慢讀、慢慢找、慢慢思，才能理清人物關(guān)系和情節(jié)走向，為續(xù)寫環(huán)節(jié)打下堅(jiān)實(shí)的基礎(chǔ)，才能快快續(xù)寫出合理的情節(jié)和結(jié)尾。以上面2023 年新課標(biāo)Ⅰ卷讀后續(xù)寫為例，我們可以把整個(gè)過程分為“讀、后、續(xù)、寫”四個(gè)環(huán)節(jié)。

環(huán)節(jié)一：讀（5min）：慢慢讀已知故事三要素

環(huán)節(jié)二：后（5min）：慢慢找故事和兩首句中的伏筆

*teacher:

“Because I love your stories.If you’re willing to apply yourself, I think you have a good shot at this.”

“Great.Now, write it again.”

*I:

Encouraged by his words, I agreed to give it a try.

My story would come straight from the horse’s mouth.Not a brilliant idea, but funny; and unlikely to be anyone else’s choice.

I got tired.I had doubts.I wanted to quit.But,like Revere’s horse, I kept going.I worked hard.

When I finally finished it, the thought of winning had given way to the enjoyment of writing.If I didn’t win, I wouldn’t care.

從以上信息可推斷出，老師看出“我”的寫作潛力，覺得“我”的初稿寫得不錯(cuò)，再進(jìn)行提升和潤(rùn)色?！拔摇睕Q定嘗試后，選擇了與眾不同的故事開頭，盡管中途有懷疑，但還是努力堅(jiān)持，最后完成后發(fā)現(xiàn)輸贏不重要，自己很享受寫作的過程。

首句1：A few weeks later, when I almost forgot the contest, there came the news.

首 句2：I went to my teacher’s office after the award presentation.

環(huán)節(jié)三：續(xù)（15min）：慢慢思故事走向和語(yǔ)言表達(dá)

首句1: A few weeks later, when I almost forgot the contest, there came the news.

Plot Action Emotion*win the award*attend the award presentation surprised happy excited jump with joy express thanks to teacher

首 句2：I went to my teacher’s office after the award presentation.

Plot Action Emotion*Teacher congratulate*I extend gratitude again*I enjoy writing and become a writer delighted, proud,confident,determined hug+dialogue owe ...to...

環(huán)節(jié)四：寫（10min）：快速完成故事和結(jié)尾

在前三個(gè)環(huán)節(jié)的慢慢讀、慢慢找、慢慢思之后，最后寫的環(huán)節(jié)就順理成章了，注意情節(jié)中人物動(dòng)作和情緒要穿插描寫，人物間要互動(dòng)，適當(dāng)加以對(duì)話，句式要長(zhǎng)短結(jié)合，豐富多樣，用詞要準(zhǔn)確到位，結(jié)尾要合理自然。

下面我們以學(xué)生習(xí)作具體評(píng)析：

Continuation writing（讀后續(xù)寫） Self-assessment Peer-assessment Teacher-assessment A: good B: Okay C: Poor Content The news; my feelings and reactions; accept the prize A A B Proper theme A A A Language Use rich vocabulary and varied sentence patterns B A A With the previous given story A A A With the given first sentence of each paragraph A A A Cohesion& Coherence Between two paragraphs A A A

續(xù)表

總之，高中英語(yǔ)書面表達(dá)，不管是應(yīng)用文還是讀后續(xù)寫，我們都要秉承“慢慢來(lái)”的原則，平時(shí)慢慢品味、慢慢積累、慢慢模仿、慢慢內(nèi)化，做題前慢慢審題、慢慢構(gòu)思。慢其實(shí)是為了快，在慢的基礎(chǔ)上才能下筆如有神，快速順利地完成寫作任務(wù)。

三、小試牛刀（原創(chuàng)題）

1.應(yīng)用文

假定你是李華，你的美國(guó)朋友Mike 就讀的學(xué)校要舉辦一年一度的“中國(guó)文化節(jié)”。他來(lái)信向你征求活動(dòng)意見，請(qǐng)你寫封回信，內(nèi)容包括：

（1）寫信目的；

（2）活動(dòng)建議（至少兩條）；

（3）表示祝愿。

注意：

（1） 詞數(shù)80 左右；

（2） 可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

2.讀后續(xù)寫

閱讀下面材料, 根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫兩段, 使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

One day, I came home after school and threw my gym bag and volleyball down on the floor.I had tried out for the school volleyball team, and I didn’t make it.I felt terrible.

I didn’t want to talk to anyone.I just lay on my bed.My mother tried to cheer me up, but nothing she did worked.

Finally, my mother sent me to visit my uncle who lived around the corner.Off I went in my bad mood.I rang the bell.No answer.Then the door suddenly flew open.

“ARRRRGGHHH!” a monster roared in my face! The mask came off, and Uncle Gerry said,“Still in a bad mood?”I guess my mother had told my uncle about my disappointment in not making the volleyball team.He decided to give me a little surprise.I didn’t want to admit it, but I felt better.

Later on, over cookies and tea, he gave me some good advice.He said,“Tommy, I’m proud of you for trying out for the volleyball team.You know what I do? Every year, I make a promise to myself to try one new thing—like a new sport, a new book or a new hobby.I even try to make a new friend each year.Trying new things helps you grow as a person.”

注意：

（1）續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150 個(gè)左右；

（2）請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

Paragraph 1：

It sounded interesting.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2：

From then on, I played with them every week.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________