河南 （特級(jí)教師）

（作者單位：河南省鄭州市第十六中學(xué)）

眾所周知，優(yōu)秀考生英語(yǔ)Ⅰ卷的得分往往相差無(wú)幾，真正拉開(kāi)考生分?jǐn)?shù)差距的是Ⅱ卷。由于考生在英語(yǔ)書(shū)面表達(dá)部分得分懸殊較大，從某種意義上來(lái)說(shuō)，書(shū)面表達(dá)分?jǐn)?shù)的高低決定高考的成敗。筆者發(fā)現(xiàn)，由于很多考生平時(shí)的語(yǔ)言積累不夠，駕馭句子的能力較差，缺乏英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作的技巧和策略，因此寫(xiě)出的書(shū)面表達(dá)錯(cuò)誤百出，嚴(yán)重影響了寫(xiě)作檔次。如果巧用英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作模板，考生就能把握不同英語(yǔ)文體的篇章結(jié)構(gòu)，借助爛熟于心的常見(jiàn)英語(yǔ)句式，使語(yǔ)言表達(dá)更為流暢，不僅避免了低級(jí)的語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤，而且為短文增加多處亮點(diǎn)。本文擬分析考生在英語(yǔ)書(shū)面表達(dá)寫(xiě)作中存在的問(wèn)題，探討英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作模板的使用,以幫助考生提高書(shū)面表達(dá)的得分。

一、自薦信（申請(qǐng)信）

假定你是李華，你市將在7月舉辦一場(chǎng)國(guó)際圖書(shū)博覽會(huì)，現(xiàn)在正在招募志愿者。你打算成為一名志愿者，請(qǐng)用英文給組委會(huì)寫(xiě)一封自薦信。內(nèi)容包括：

1.寫(xiě)信意圖；

2.個(gè)人優(yōu)勢(shì)；

3.希望回復(fù)。

注意：

1.詞數(shù)100左右；

2.可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

Dear Sir/Madam,

Yours,

Li Hua

【考生習(xí)作】

Dear Sir/Madam,

Knowing that our city will hold the International Book Fair in July, I am writing to apply to be a volunteer.It can’t be better if you can agree with it①.

I am a student from Xinhua Middle School at present.My favorite hobby is reading books.I am friendly and easygoing.So I can get along well with other people.I always help others, so I can help you do some work②.I believe I can do it really well.

I would appreciate it if you can agree with it③.I am waiting for your reply④.

Yours,

Li Hua

存在問(wèn)題：

考生能根據(jù)寫(xiě)作提綱進(jìn)行寫(xiě)作，內(nèi)容包括寫(xiě)信意圖、申請(qǐng)?jiān)蚝蛡€(gè)人優(yōu)勢(shì)。但是，通覽全文，我們發(fā)現(xiàn)習(xí)作中存在一些問(wèn)題：

1.書(shū)信的結(jié)構(gòu)不合理?？忌鷳?yīng)首先做自我介紹，讓收信人知道自己是誰(shuí)，為什么寫(xiě)這封信，然后再陳述自己具備的優(yōu)勢(shì)，并表達(dá)期待收到回復(fù)的愿望。作者在第一段的第一句表明寫(xiě)作目的，第二段才進(jìn)行自我介紹，寫(xiě)作順序不符合邏輯，由于缺少寫(xiě)作背景的鋪墊，顯得非常突兀。

2.沒(méi)有使用過(guò)渡語(yǔ)和主題句，行文的邏輯性和條理性較差。

3.語(yǔ)言表達(dá)不地道，句①、句②和句④帶有明顯的漢語(yǔ)表達(dá)的痕跡。

4.句③有語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤，本句應(yīng)用虛擬語(yǔ)氣，應(yīng)把can改為could。此外，這句話屬于漢語(yǔ)式的表達(dá)。書(shū)信的結(jié)尾句應(yīng)為：I would appreciate it if you could give me an early reply。

【高分范文】

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am Li Hua, a 17-year-old boy from Xinhua Middle School.I learn from the newspaper that some volunteers are needed for the International Book Fair to be held in our city in July.I am writing to recommend myself.

My advantages are as follows: First, I am friendly and helpful, which makes it easy for me to get along with others.Second, I am so good at spoken English that I can communicate with native speakers without diffi culty.I think I am qualifi ed to be a volunteer.Please give me a chance.

I would be grateful if you could give me an early reply.

Yours,

Li Hua

寫(xiě)作要點(diǎn)：

第一段：自我介紹、寫(xiě)信的背景（消息來(lái)源）和寫(xiě)作目的

第二段：陳述自己具備的優(yōu)勢(shì)

(1)性格特點(diǎn)；

(2)語(yǔ)言能力；

(3)組織（交際）能力。

第三段：希望申請(qǐng)被批準(zhǔn)，期待收到回復(fù)

【寫(xiě)作模板】

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am Li Hua, a student from...I know from...that some...are needed...I am writing to recommend myself/apply for the opportunity to work as a（an） ...

My advantages are as follows: First, I am..., which makes it easy for me to ...Second, I am so good at...that I can ...I think I am qualifi ed to be ...Please give me a chance.

I would be grateful if you could give me an early reply.

Yours,

Li Hua

【鞏固練習(xí)】

假如你叫李華，你市博物館正在招募兼職解說(shuō)員（interpreter），在周末為外國(guó)游客進(jìn)行英語(yǔ)解說(shuō)。請(qǐng)根據(jù)下面的寫(xiě)作提示，用英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)一封自薦信。內(nèi)容包括：

1.寫(xiě)信意圖；

2.個(gè)人優(yōu)勢(shì)；

3.希望獲準(zhǔn)。

注意：

1.詞數(shù)100左右；

2.可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

Dear Sir/Madam,

Yours，

Li Hua

【套用模板】

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am Li Hua, a student fromNo.1 Middle School.Iknow fromthe Internetthat somepart-time interpretersare neededat weekends.I am writing to recommend myself.

My advantages are as follows: First, I amfriendly and helpful,which makes it easy for me toget along with others.Second, I am so good atspoken Englishthat I cancommunicate with native speakers without diffi culty.I think I am qualified to bean interpreter.Please give me a chance.

I would be grateful if you could give me an early reply.

Yours,

Li Hua

二、感謝信

假如你是李華，最近你參加了學(xué)校舉辦的英語(yǔ)演講比賽，并榮獲一等獎(jiǎng)。請(qǐng)給外教Miss Perkins發(fā)一封英語(yǔ)郵件，感謝她的幫助。內(nèi)容包括：

1.分享獲獎(jiǎng)的消息；

2.感謝她的幫助。

注意：

1.詞數(shù)100左右；

2.可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

Dear Miss Perkins,

Yours，

Li Hua

【考生習(xí)作】

Dear Miss Perkins,

How are you? It’s been a long time without meeting you①.Here are some good news for you②.I have won the English Speech Contest last month③.

Don’t you remember the days when you taught us English? My English was so bad that I lost confi dence about myself④.I never thought I would take part in the English Speech Contest.Thank you very much.Through your hard work, my English got better and better⑤.Without you, I can’t learn my English well⑥.

Now I have full confidence about my future life.I am working hard towards my dream.

Best wishes.

Yours，

Li Hua

存在問(wèn)題：

1.由于寫(xiě)作目的不明確，短文的內(nèi)容雜亂無(wú)章，考生沒(méi)有圍繞感謝信這個(gè)主題組織材料。

2.文中出現(xiàn)多個(gè)漢語(yǔ)式的句子，顯得語(yǔ)言表達(dá)不地道，如句①、句③、句④和句⑤。

3.句②和句⑥中有語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤。句②中的are應(yīng)改為is；句⑥陳述的情況與現(xiàn)在事實(shí)相反，應(yīng)用虛擬語(yǔ)氣。本句可改為：I couldn’t have improved my English without your help.

【高分范文】

Dear Miss Perkins,

Here is some good news for you.I got the first place in the English Speech Contest held in our school last week.I am writing to express my sincere gratitude to you for kind help.

When I signed up for the contest, I was nervous because I had never participated in such an activity.When I turned to you for help, you encouraged me to try my best.You were patient with me when I practiced in front of you.Not only did you correct my pronunciation and intonation, you also taught me speaking skills.Without your kind help, I couldn’t have achieved success.

Thank you again for your kind help.

Yours，

Li Hua

寫(xiě)作要點(diǎn)：

第一段：寫(xiě)信背景和寫(xiě)作目的

第二段：感謝對(duì)方的原因

(1)自己遇到的困難；

(2)對(duì)方為自己做了什么；

(3)對(duì)方的幫助如何使自己受益。

第三段：再次向?qū)Ψ奖硎靖兄x

【寫(xiě)作模板】

Dear Miss.../Mr....

Here is some good news for you.I won/got/was...in ...last...I am writing to express my sincere gratitude to you for kind help.

When I ..., I was...because I...When I turned to you for help, you encouraged me to...You were patient with me when I ...Not only did you ..., you also...Without your kind help, I couldn’t have...

Thank you again for your kind help.

Yours，

Li Hua

【鞏固練習(xí)】

假定你是李華，是某國(guó)際學(xué)校的高中生。在高中畢業(yè)前夕，你收到國(guó)外大學(xué)的錄取通知書(shū)。請(qǐng)根據(jù)以下的寫(xiě)作提綱給外教Susan寫(xiě)一封英語(yǔ)感謝信。內(nèi)容包括：

1.分享你的好消息；

2.感謝老師為你提供的幫助；

3.表示祝愿。

注意：

1.詞數(shù)100左右；

2.可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

Dear Susan,

Yours，

Li Hua

【套用模板】

Dear Susan,

Here is some good news for you.I was admitted into a foreign university last month.I am writing to express my sincere gratitude to you for kind help.

When Iapplied for the foreign university,I wasnot confident about myselfbecause Ididn’t know how to write a letter of recommendation.When I turned to you for help, you encouraged meto list my advantages in English.You were patient with me when Iasked you to check my resume.Not only did youoffer me some valuable advice,you alsopolished my writing.Without your kind help, I couldn’t havebeen admitted.

Thank you again for your kind help.I wish you all the best.

Yours，

Li Hua

三、建議信

假定你是李華。你的外國(guó)筆友Lily因?yàn)殚L(zhǎng)期節(jié)食減肥而生病住院。請(qǐng)根據(jù)下面的寫(xiě)作提示，用英語(yǔ)給她寫(xiě)一封郵件。內(nèi)容包括：

1.寫(xiě)作目的；

2.提出建議；

3.希望情況好轉(zhuǎn)。

注意：

1.詞數(shù)100左右；

2.可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

【考生習(xí)作】

Dear Lily,

I feel very sad to know you are in hospital these days because you have disease①.The purpose of writing this letter is to offer you some advices②.

I think you are wrong to be on a diet because it will make you unhealthy③.You’d better stop being on a diet right now.You should eat healthy food to keep fit.I advise you to eat some meat, vegetables and fruits because they contain various nutrients you need.Drinking some milk is also good for your healthy④.

If you follow the above advice, I am sure you will get better soon.

Yours，

Li Hua

存在問(wèn)題：

1.由于第二段沒(méi)有使用信號(hào)詞把幾條建議連接起來(lái)，因此顯得比較散亂，層次性較差。

2.雖然句①和句③中沒(méi)有明顯的語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤，但句子帶有漢語(yǔ)表達(dá)的痕跡，屬于低級(jí)表達(dá)。

3.句②和句④中有明顯的語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤。句②中應(yīng)把a(bǔ)dvices改為advice。句④中的healthy應(yīng)改為health。

【高分范文】

Dear Lily,

I am sorry to know you are ill in hospital because you have been on a diet for a long time.I’m writing to offer you some advice.

First of all, it is important for you to have a balanced diet including grain, meat, vegetables and fruits, which can provide enough energy for your body.You are likely to feel tired and even get sick if you are always on a diet.Second, you should have three meals on time because skipping breakfast is harmful.More importantly, it is a good idea to take physical exercise regularly, which will build up your health in the long run.

I hope you will find my advice useful.

Yours，

Li Hua

寫(xiě)作要點(diǎn)：

第一段：（自我介紹）寫(xiě)信的背景、寫(xiě)信的目的

第二段：提出幾點(diǎn)建議

1.……是很重要的；

2.你最好(應(yīng)該)做……

3.我建議你……

第三段：希望對(duì)方情況好轉(zhuǎn)（希望盡快擺脫困境/希望建議有幫助）

【寫(xiě)作模板】

Dear ...,

I am sorry to know that you are...I’m writing to make some suggestions for you/offer you some advice./Here is some advice for you.

First of all/First, it is important for you to (do sth).Second, you should/had better do sth.Besides/More importantly,I advise you to do sth./It is a good idea to do sth.

I hope you will find my advice useful./If you follow my advice, I am sure you will...

Yours，

Li Hua

【鞏固練習(xí)】

假如你叫李華，最近收到外國(guó)筆友Jimmy發(fā)來(lái)的一封郵件，說(shuō)他漢語(yǔ)聽(tīng)說(shuō)能力較差，向你發(fā)出求助。請(qǐng)根據(jù)下面的寫(xiě)作要點(diǎn)，用英語(yǔ)給他回復(fù)一封郵件。內(nèi)容包括：

1.寫(xiě)作目的；

2.提出建議；

3.希望對(duì)他有用。

注意：

1.詞數(shù)100左右；

2.可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

Dear Jimmy,

Yours，

Li Hua

【套用模板】

Dear Jimmy,

I am sorry to know that you arenot good at Chinese listening and speaking.I’m writing to make some suggestions for you.

First of all, it is important for you tobelieve that you can improve your Chinese if you keep on trying.Second, it is a good idea towatch some interesting Chinese movies in your spare time, which can help you to improve your listening ability.More importantly, you shouldmake some Chinese friends and practice speaking with them so that you can improve your speaking.

If you follow my advice, I am sure you willmake progress in your Chinese learning.

Yours，

Li Hua

四、求助信

假定你是李華，暑假想去一家外貿(mào)公司兼職，已寫(xiě)好申請(qǐng)書(shū)和個(gè)人簡(jiǎn)歷(resume)。請(qǐng)給外教Ms.Jenkins 寫(xiě)信，請(qǐng)她幫你修改所附材料的文字和格式（format）。

注意：

1.詞數(shù)100左右；

2.可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

Dear Ms.Jenkins,

Yours,

Li Hua

【考生習(xí)作】

Dear Ms.Jenkins,

How is everything? All the students in my class miss you very much and expect to see you soon①.I really want to do a part-time job in a foreign company.What do you think of my plan?②I have written my application and resume yesterday③.Could you point out my mistakes? I really want to get this job, so please help me correct the unsuitable words and format when you are convenient④.I believe that due to your help,I will be successful and work in a foreign company.I have attached it in the letter⑤.Thank for your help in advance⑥.

Looking forward to your reply.

Yours,

Li Hua

存在問(wèn)題：

1.分段不合理。短文由兩段組成，第一段太長(zhǎng)，第二段太短，顯得頭重腳輕。

2.第一段的內(nèi)容雜亂無(wú)章，條理性較差。第一段應(yīng)陳述寫(xiě)信的背景和寫(xiě)信目的；第二段陳述發(fā)出求助的原因以及希望對(duì)方為自己做什么。

3.文中有些句子如句①和句②與短文的主題關(guān)系不密切，純屬?gòu)U話，可刪除。

4.文中多個(gè)句子帶有漢語(yǔ)句式的痕跡，屬于低級(jí)表達(dá)，如句④和句⑥。句③和⑤句有語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤：句③含有時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)yesterday，應(yīng)用一般過(guò)去時(shí)，也可把yesterday去掉；⑤句中的it應(yīng)改為 them。

【高分范文】

Dear Ms.Jenkins,

I am Li Hua.How are you doing these days? I’m writing to seek help from you.

The summer vacation is around the corner.It is the longest summer vacation in my life.I have decided to take a part-time job in a foreign company so that I can accumulate some working experience.Besides, I hope to earn some money to support myself at university.I have finished my application and personal resume, but I am not sure about the words and its format.Would you please check them for me when it is convenient for you?

I would appreciate it if you could send them back before Friday.

Yours,

Li Hua

寫(xiě)作要點(diǎn)：

第一段：自我介紹、寫(xiě)信背景和寫(xiě)信目的

第二段：發(fā)出求助的原因以及希望對(duì)方為自己做什么

第三段：希望盡快收到答復(fù)

【寫(xiě)作模板】

Dear Mr..../Ms....

I am...I am writing to ask you for help./I am writing to seek help from you/ask you for help.

I am planning to do..., but I am not ...That is why I am in need of your help.Would you please tell me how to...when it is convenient for you? /Would you please do sth.before ...？/Would you be so kind as to...?

I’d appreciate it if you could give me a reply at your earliest convenience./I would be grateful if you could give me an early reply.

Yours，

Li Hua

【鞏固練習(xí)】

假如你是李華，你打算參加學(xué)校即將舉辦的英語(yǔ)演講比賽，但是缺乏經(jīng)驗(yàn)。請(qǐng)用英語(yǔ)給你校的外教Mr.Smith寫(xiě)一封郵件。內(nèi)容包括：

1.寫(xiě)信目的；

2.求助的原因和內(nèi)容；

3.期待收到回復(fù)。

注意：

1.詞數(shù)100左右；

2.可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

Dear Mr.Smith,

Yours，

Li Hua

【套用模板】

Dear Mr.Smith,

I’mLi Hua, a student from Class Six Grade Two.I am writing to ask you for help.

The English Speech Contest is to be held in our school next month.I am planning tosign up for it,but I amnot sure how to prepare a speech in English.That is why I am in need of your help.Would you please tell me howto make my speech more impressivewhen it is convenient for you?Would you be so kind as tocheck my speech when I have finished writing it?

I’d appreciate it if you could give me a reply at your earliest convenience.

Yours，

Li Hua

五、道歉信

假定你是李華，你和交換生Paul原定于本周日上午去市藝術(shù)中心觀看中國(guó)書(shū)畫(huà)展（the Chinese Painting and Calligraphy Exhibition）。你因故無(wú)法前往, 請(qǐng)用英語(yǔ)給他發(fā)一封電子郵件。內(nèi)容包括：

1.表示歉意；

2.說(shuō)明情況；

3.希望諒解。

注意：

1.詞數(shù)100左右；

2.可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

Dear Paul,

Yours，

Li Hua

【考生習(xí)作】

Dear Paul,

I am sorry I can’t attend the Chinese Painting and Calligraphy Exhibition with you on Sunday morning.I hope you can forgive me if you know the situation①.

The reason why I cannot go there with you is that there is an important examination next week.I have to make careful preparation for it②.If I fail the exam, I am afraid that my teacher and my parents will blame me③.I think we can go there when the examination is over.I hope you can understand my condition④.I believe that this will not affect our friendship⑤.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours，

Li Hua

存在問(wèn)題:

1.寫(xiě)作目的不明確。在道歉信的第一段，寫(xiě)信人應(yīng)表明寫(xiě)信的目的是向?qū)Ψ降狼福篒 am writing to express my sincere apology to you。

2.作者在第二段解釋不能履約的原因是想在家復(fù)習(xí)功課，為下周的考試做準(zhǔn)備。 一般來(lái)說(shuō)，一個(gè)人不能履約是由于意外事件的發(fā)生，這樣解釋讓人感覺(jué)理由不太充分。

3.句①、句③、句④和句⑤帶有明顯的漢語(yǔ)表達(dá)的痕跡，語(yǔ)言不地道，影響了表達(dá)的檔次。

4.句②有語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤，應(yīng)把preparation改為preparations。

【高分范文】

Dear Paul,

I am sorry for not being able to attend the Chinese Painting and Calligraphy Exhibition with you on Sunday morning.I am writing to express my sincere apology to you.

The reason why I am not available is that I had my ankle sprained while having PE lesson yesterday.The doctor told me to stay at home and have a good rest.I suggest we go to the Chinese Painting and Calligraphy Exhibition next Sunday,when I will probably have recovered.If it is not convenient for you, please tell me what time suits you best.I hope this change will not cause you too much trouble.

Once again I’m sorry for any inconvenience caused.

Yours，

Li Hua

寫(xiě)作要點(diǎn)：

第一段：寫(xiě)信的背景和寫(xiě)信的目的

第二段：解釋為什么要向?qū)Ψ降狼?/p>

1.承認(rèn)自己所犯的錯(cuò)誤；

2.給對(duì)方造成了什么影響或損失；

3.提出調(diào)整方案或如何進(jìn)行補(bǔ)救。

第三段：希望對(duì)方諒解

【寫(xiě)作模板】

Dear ...,

I am sorry for not being able to...I am writing to express my sincere apology to you.

The reason why ...is that ...I suggest...I hope this change will not cause you too much trouble.

Once again I’m sorry for any inconvenience caused.I hope you can forgive me.

Yours，

Li Hua

【鞏固練習(xí)】

假定你是李華。你和外教Susan約定在本周日上午教她制作中國(guó)結(jié)，但你因故無(wú)法前往。請(qǐng)用英語(yǔ)給她寫(xiě)一封電子郵件。內(nèi)容包括：

1.表示歉意；

2.說(shuō)明情況；

3.希望諒解。

注意：

1.詞數(shù)100左右；

2.可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

參考詞匯：中國(guó)結(jié)Chinese knot

Dear Susan,

Yours，

Li Hua

【套用模板】

Dear Susan,

I am sorry for not being able toteach you how to make Chinese knots on Sunday morning as I promised.I am writing to express my sincere apology to you.

The reason whyI am not availableis thatmy grandfather suddenly fell ill last night.Right now he is in hospital, so my parents and I have to take care of him on Sunday.I suggestmy friend Wang Wei go to your apartment at 9:00 am instead of me because she is skilled at making Chinese knots.I hope thischange will not cause you too much trouble.

Once again I’m sorry fornot keeping my promise.I hope you can forgive me.

Yours，

Li Hua

六、邀請(qǐng)信

假定你是李華，你校將于近期舉辦一場(chǎng)英語(yǔ)演講比賽。請(qǐng)用英語(yǔ)給外教Mr.Black發(fā)一封電子郵件，邀請(qǐng)他擔(dān)任評(píng)委。內(nèi)容包括：

1.時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)；

2.邀請(qǐng)他擔(dān)任評(píng)委；

3.期待收到回復(fù)。

注意：

1.詞數(shù)100左右。

2.可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

Dear Mr.Black,

Yours，

Li Hua

【考生習(xí)作】

Dear Mr.Black,

Long time no see!①I(mǎi) can hardly wait to tell you some exciting news that our school is going to hold the English Speech Contest next month.Now we are looking for a judge,which I think you are good at.②

Actually we can’t find a better than you.③Therefore on behalf of our school, I will invite you to be a judge.Besides,our topic is The Chinese Dreams and My Dream.As planned,every competitor who take part in the contest should limit his time to five minutes.④Last but not least, the contest will be held in our school auditorium this Friday afternoon.Don’t be late.⑤

I will be happy if you can accept my invitation.⑥Please reply to me as soon as possible.⑦

Yours，

Li Hua

存在問(wèn)題：

1.主題不夠突出。寫(xiě)信人在第一段應(yīng)表明寫(xiě)作目的，向?qū)Ψ桨l(fā)出邀請(qǐng)。然后，告訴對(duì)方活動(dòng)的時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)和注意事項(xiàng)，并希望對(duì)方接受邀請(qǐng)。

2.句①是口語(yǔ)中常見(jiàn)的一句客套話，用在書(shū)信中不恰當(dāng)。這封信是寫(xiě)給外教的，應(yīng)用委婉禮貌的語(yǔ)氣，但句⑤和句⑦表達(dá)很隨意，語(yǔ)言不得體。句③是廢話，可刪掉。

3.句②詞不達(dá)意。本句應(yīng)表明寫(xiě)信的目的，可換成：I am writing to invite you to be a judge。

4.句④和句⑥有語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤。句④中的take應(yīng)改為takes。句⑥應(yīng)用虛擬語(yǔ)氣。

【高分范文】

Dear Mr.Black,

My school is going to hold an English Speech Contest next week in order to enrich our campus life.I am writing to invite you to be one of the judges.

The event is to take place in the auditorium from 4:20 to 6:20 on the afternoon of next Friday.About 30 competitors will give a speech in English on“Dreams”within three minutes.Then they will have to answer a question given by the judges.Some teachers and foreign guests will work as judges.The winners will be announced at the scene.I am sure it will be great fun.

I would appreciate it if you could give an early reply.Looking forward to your participation.

Yours，

Li Hua

寫(xiě)作要點(diǎn)：

第一段：寫(xiě)信背景和寫(xiě)信目的

第二段：活動(dòng)的具體內(nèi)容和希望對(duì)方做什么

1.活動(dòng)的具體內(nèi)容；

2.希望對(duì)方做什么；

3.其他注意事項(xiàng)。

第三段：期待收到回復(fù)

【寫(xiě)作模板】

Dear ...,

...be going to ...I am writing to invite you to ...

The event is to take place in ...on the ...will ...Then ...will...I am sure it will be great fun.You’d better...

I would appreciate it if you could give me an early reply.Looking forward to your participation.

Yours，

Li Hua

【鞏固練習(xí)】

假定你是李華, 和好友約定周日一起騎車(chē)去郊游。請(qǐng)給外教Cathy寫(xiě)一封英語(yǔ)郵件，邀請(qǐng)她一起參加。內(nèi)容包括：

1.時(shí)間和地點(diǎn)；

2.主要活動(dòng)；

3.注意事項(xiàng)。

注意：

1.詞數(shù)100左右；

2.可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

Dear Cathy,

Yours，

Li Hua

【套用模板】

Dear Cathy,

My friends and Iare going tovisit the Nature Parkon themorning of next Sunday.I’m writing to invite you to join us.

Weare tomeet at 8:30 am at the school gate and go there by bike.When we arrive, wewillwalk along the river and have a picnic in the forest nearby.After lunch we’ll play games,enjoy the beautiful scenery and take photos.Thenwewillreturn at 4:00 pm.I’m sure it will be great fun.You’d bettertake some snacks and drinking water.It is a good idea to wear comfortable shoes, a hat and a pair of sunglasses.

I would appreciate it if you could give me an early reply.Looking forward to your participation.

Yours，

Li Hua

總之，使用英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作模板能幫助不同層次的考生提升英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作能力。優(yōu)秀考生掌握了不同英語(yǔ)文體的篇章結(jié)構(gòu)特點(diǎn)和常用的表達(dá)法之后，寫(xiě)作語(yǔ)言更地道，行文更流暢。英語(yǔ)薄弱的考生和中等考生能夠準(zhǔn)確把握寫(xiě)作內(nèi)容，可避免寫(xiě)跑題或偏離主題的現(xiàn)象。通過(guò)套用常用的句型，減少了文中的語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤，提高了語(yǔ)言表達(dá)的準(zhǔn)確性。雖然寫(xiě)作模板可能不利于優(yōu)秀考生的自主發(fā)揮，但是筆者認(rèn)為英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作模板值得推廣使用。