許春苗

近幾年，湖北高考的英語寫作多為半開放式的作文，即給出一段英文的話題材料，考生閱讀后結(jié)合自己的生活事例，來寫一篇120字左右的論文。對于處于高二階段的學(xué)生來說，我們不僅需要積累大量的短語詞匯和句子，精通并熟練的使用一些語法規(guī)則和句式，而且還需要逐漸的在寫作訓(xùn)練中掌握熟悉這種半開放式的寫作模式和技巧，以下是兩篇學(xué)生的習(xí)作和點(diǎn)評：

題目：請根據(jù)以下提示并結(jié)合事例，寫一篇短文。

Reading is a habit and reading is joyful. We can gain a lot from reading.

注意：①無需寫標(biāo)題，不得照抄英語提示語；②除詩歌外，文體不限；③詞數(shù)為120 左右。

習(xí)作1

There is no doubt that books are our best friends in life and reading books is to us what eating food is to man.

I used to be a girl who usually felt upset whenever meeting difficulties. However， I change my attitude after reading an article about a determined man. His name is Nick who was born without arms and legs. So he can not lead the normal life as others. But in the article， to my great surprise， he not only encourages others to be hopeful in life， but also has set up an organization to help those who are disabled. Compared with him， how small I am！ From that， I have learned that we should be positive and optimistic and we shouldnt give in to the difficulties.

It is reading that brings me great changes. Reading is a good thing， dont forget to read. （程思媛）

點(diǎn)評 這是一篇第五檔的作文，29 分。程思媛同學(xué)的作文，首尾關(guān)于reading的主題清楚明確；生活事例敘述完整而且緊扣主題；文中恰當(dāng)使用了語句間的連接成分，全文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊，； 應(yīng)用了較豐富的語法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯，比如第一段中的A is to B what C is to D，第二段中的狀語從句的省略結(jié)構(gòu)whenever meeting difficulties，過去分詞做狀語Compared with him等。雖然有個(gè)別語法錯(cuò)誤，例如第二段中的單詞change 應(yīng)為完成時(shí)態(tài)have changed，但它不影響意義的表達(dá)，完全達(dá)到了預(yù)期的寫作目的。

習(xí)作2

I like reading books very much. It is very interesting and I can learn a lot from reading. A few months before， I read a book about war， in the book there is a word “position”. Because I didnt know what it means， after a long time thought， I turned to the dictionary for help. The book enriched my vocabulary. Not long after that， we had an English test， I recognized the word “position”， so I got the correct answer easily. Reading cannot only help you learn something， but also help you to relax. A science fiction book can get you into a fancy world and let you forget those bad things. （徐星宇）

點(diǎn)評 這是一篇四檔的作文，22分。首先，從段落層次來看，徐星宇的這篇一段式的作文，雖然主要內(nèi)容與提示吻合，但是和上一篇三段式的作文比較起來，層次不是那么清晰明了，全文的結(jié)構(gòu)也沒有那么緊湊。對于湖北省半開放式的作文體裁，我們強(qiáng)烈建議用三段，首段開門見山點(diǎn)題，第二段舉例，第三段總結(jié)或強(qiáng)調(diào)主題；其次，從舉例點(diǎn)題的內(nèi)容而言，徐星宇在作文中談了兩個(gè)例子，雖然顯得很豐富，但是對于限制在120字以內(nèi)的小作文而言，反而使得整個(gè)內(nèi)容沒有那么緊湊，主題沒有那么鮮明。最后，從語法錯(cuò)誤而言，雖兩篇作文然都有，但是這篇作文中的個(gè)別錯(cuò)誤對意義的表達(dá)有一定影響，例如，before應(yīng)為ago，in the book 應(yīng)該為定語從句in which。