錢紹昌

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淺議醫(yī)學(xué)英語——醫(yī)學(xué)專家并非英語專家

錢紹昌

(上海外國語大學(xué)國際新聞學(xué)院，上海 200083)

鑒于許多醫(yī)生，包括不少醫(yī)學(xué)專家，所撰寫的英語醫(yī)學(xué)論文在英語表達(dá)上常出現(xiàn)很多錯(cuò)誤，以實(shí)例分析了醫(yī)學(xué)論文英語寫作中的欠妥之處，簡述了英語醫(yī)學(xué)論文寫作ABC，并指出，醫(yī)生們在學(xué)術(shù)造詣精深的前提下，還應(yīng)努力提高自身的英語水平。

英語；醫(yī)學(xué)英語；醫(yī)學(xué)論文

記得1954年，當(dāng)我剛從醫(yī)學(xué)院畢業(yè)被分配到上海廣慈醫(yī)院(現(xiàn)瑞金醫(yī)院)外科時(shí)，除了醫(yī)療工作外，老師們經(jīng)常派給我一項(xiàng)任務(wù)，那就是把一些學(xué)術(shù)論文譯成英文。由于我的中學(xué)和大學(xué)都是在洋學(xué)校念的，英文程度較佳，這任務(wù)就落到我的頭上了。那時(shí)《中華醫(yī)學(xué)雜志》有英文版，是向全世界發(fā)行的。這里面什么科的文章都有：內(nèi)科、外科、兒科、婦產(chǎn)科、五官科等等。因?yàn)楦鞣挚茮]有條件各自出一本英文雜志，就只好全混在一起了。上英文版的文章一般是質(zhì)量比較高的。你若有文章上英文版，就說明你的水平比較高，評起職稱來自然也有用處。

到了改革開放以后，許多人就直接把文章寄到國外的雜志去，主要是美國雜志，當(dāng)然得先譯成英文才行。來找我翻譯的人就更多了。那時(shí)我已離開醫(yī)院到上海外國語學(xué)院執(zhí)教，業(yè)余也做一些翻譯工作，不過主要是文學(xué)和影視翻譯，而對于醫(yī)學(xué)翻譯我已不感興趣。可有時(shí)情面難卻，也不得不譯一些。為什么有那么多人來找我呢？當(dāng)然是自己翻譯有困難。本文就是打算來議一下這個(gè)問題。

曾看過許多國內(nèi)醫(yī)學(xué)專家寫的英語醫(yī)學(xué)論文，其中英語錯(cuò)誤之處實(shí)在不少。有些專家還是從國外留學(xué)歸國的，口語也還可以，但文章寫出來卻很糟糕。因?yàn)楸M管他們是醫(yī)學(xué)專家，卻并非英語專家，英語畢竟不是他們的母語。

一、舉例

曾有一位醫(yī)學(xué)專家用英語寫了一篇關(guān)于肝癌治療的文章。文章在學(xué)術(shù)上價(jià)值很高，但在英語表達(dá)上卻存在著許多欠妥之處。一般英語學(xué)術(shù)論文中討論(Discussion)最難寫，最易在文字上出錯(cuò)。該文的討論有9段之多，現(xiàn)僅取其中的一段為例：

“Many concepts and principles currently accepted in the management of HCC(hepatocellular carcinoma) have to be revised in sub-HCC, namely: (1) Combined analysis of serial change of AFP and ALT alone or added with angiogram or B-sonogram instead of enzymology and scintiscan have become more important for early diagnosis; (2) The role of surgery has become greater in which 48% of sub-HCC could be successfully resected, while it was only 17.7% in clin-HCC; (3) Based on the fact that 83.6% of sub-HCC associated with cirrhosis and 74.3% with tumor seating in right lobe or hepatic porta, local resection rather than classical lobectomy in surgical management of sub-HCC has yielded higher resectability, lower operative mortality and similar 5-year survival. It seems that local resection of minute HCC with 1-2cm surrounding liver parenchyma can be agreeable as radical resection, since the tumor has not yet broken through the capsule as well as invaded to intrahepatic veins; (4) Reoperation for subclinical recurrence and solitary lung metastasis after a radical resection seems acceptable with further prolongation of survival and no longer a contraindication; (5) The much higher percentage of single nodule HCC, the more frequent normalization of AFP after resection of tumor and the more favorable survival in sub-HCC attested that unicentric origin was not scarcely encountered in early stage patients of HCC even coexisting with cirrhosis. Moreover, evidence of single nodule HCC, well encapsulated tumor, without tumor emboli, immunostatus and survival indicated that intrahepatic spreading rather multicentric origin may play a more important role in the multinodular pattern of huge HCC, thus strongly supported to the policy of aggressive surgical intervention to sub-HCC.”

二、分析及改寫

對這段文字的英語表達(dá)予以分析如下。

第一句指出現(xiàn)在許多關(guān)于治療肝癌的觀念 在治療亞臨床肝癌中應(yīng)加以改變。文中“namely”后面的5條，語法上應(yīng)該是“Many concepts and principles”的同位語，可是看其內(nèi)容卻是作者提出的新觀點(diǎn)，因此這一句應(yīng)改為：“Many concepts and principles currently accepted in the management of HCC should be replaced by new ones in sub-HCC treatment.”在“sub-HCC”后加上“treatment”，使意義較清楚。

其次，在(1)中，該句的主語“analysis”是單數(shù)，可是謂語動(dòng)詞卻錯(cuò)用復(fù)數(shù)；又“added with”應(yīng)改為“together with”。

在(2)中，“which”不知何所指？可能是指“surgery”，但也講不通?！癷t”又是指什么？作者的意思應(yīng)該是指可切除率(resectability)，但此詞在文中尚未出現(xiàn)過。所以此句應(yīng)改為：“As 48% of sub-HCC could be successfully resected while the resectability of clin-HCC was only 17.7%, the role of surgery has become greater in the treatment of sub-HCC.”

在(3)中，“fact”后面是同位語從句，應(yīng)該有完整的主語和謂語。因此，“associated”應(yīng)改為“were associated”，后面的“74.3% with tumor seating in”應(yīng)改為“74.3% had the tumor seated in”?！皊eating”之所以改為“seated”是因?yàn)椤皊eat”作為不及物動(dòng)詞只指機(jī)器安裝，而“be seated”才解釋“位于”。“in right lobe or hepatic porta”應(yīng)改為“in the right lobe or around the hepatic porta”，因?yàn)槟[瘤不是在肝門“里面”，而是在肝門“周圍”的。因此，這句應(yīng)改為“based on the fact that 83.6% of sub-HCC were associated with cirrhosis and 74.3% had the tumor seated in the right lobe or around the hepatic porta…”。下句中“agreeable”宜改為“accepted”或“considered”；“as well as”應(yīng)改為“or”；“invaded to”應(yīng)改為“invaded”，因?yàn)椤癷nvade”是及物動(dòng)詞。

在(4)中，“further prolongation of survival”是“reoperation”的結(jié)果，又是“acceptable”的理由。因此，這句應(yīng)改為“As reoperation for subclinical liver recurrence and solitary lung metastasis after a radiacal resection may lead to further prolongation of survival, it is no longer a contraindication and has become acceptable.”

在(5)中，“even coexisting with”應(yīng)改為“even with coexisting cirrhosis”；“without tumor emboli”應(yīng)改為“absence of tumor emboli”；“supported to”應(yīng)改為“supporting”，因?yàn)椤皊upport”是及物動(dòng)詞，況且這里應(yīng)該用現(xiàn)在分詞。

因此，這一段可以改寫為：

“Many concepts and principles currently accepted in the treatment of HCC should be replaced by new ones. (1) Combined analysis of serial changes of AFP and ALT alone or together with angiogram or B sonogram instead of enzymology and scintiscan has become more important for early diagnosis. (2) As 48% of sub-HCC could be successfully resected while the resectability of clin-HCC was only 17.7%, the role of surgery has become greater in the treatment of sub-HCC. (3) Based on the fact that 83.6% of sub-HCC were associated with cirrhosis and 74.3% had the tumor seated in the right lobe or around the hepatic porta, local resection rather than classical lobectomy in surgical management of sub-HCC has yielded higher resectability, lower operative mortality and similar 5-year survival rate. It seems that local resection of minute HCC along with 1-2cm surrounding liver parenchyma can be accepted as radical resection, since the tumor has not yet broken through the capsule or invaded intrahepatic veins. (4) As reoperation for subclinical liver recurrence and solitary lung metastasis after a radical resection may lead to further prolongation of survival, it should be an acceptable practice and no longer a contraindication. (5) The much higher percentage of single nodule HCC, the more frequent normalization of AFP after resection of tumor and the more favorable survival rate in sub-HCC attested tha unicentric origin was not scarcely encountered in early stage patients of HCC even with coexisting cirrhosis. Moreover, evidence of single nodule HCC, well encapsulated tumor, absence of tumor emboli, immunostatus and survival rate indicated that intraheptic spreading rather than multicentric origin may play a more important role in the multinodular pattern of huge HCC, thus strongly supporting the policy of aggressive surgical intervention in sub-HCC.”

筆者在從醫(yī)時(shí)曾有機(jī)會(huì)閱讀過許多醫(yī)學(xué)專家寫的英語醫(yī)學(xué)論文，文章的學(xué)術(shù)水平都是很高的，但英語的水平實(shí)在不敢恭維。我們不期望醫(yī)學(xué)專家全成為英語專家，只是希望他們的英語論文少出一點(diǎn)錯(cuò)誤，多下點(diǎn)功夫把英語學(xué)好。

三、論文寫作ABC

英語醫(yī)學(xué)論文寫作ABC，即Accuracy(準(zhǔn)確)、Brevity(簡短)、Clarity(清晰)。

缺乏Accuracy 的醫(yī)學(xué)文章會(huì)害死人。

缺乏Brevity 的文章啰啰唆唆，廢話連篇，讀起來累死人。

缺乏Clarity 的雜亂無章，顛三倒四，念起來累死人。

1.Accuracy

醫(yī)學(xué)論文不同于文學(xué)作品，不要求詞藻華麗，描寫細(xì)膩。但它要求詞能達(dá)意，并且表達(dá)得十分準(zhǔn)確，使讀者不致琢磨不準(zhǔn)甚至產(chǎn)生誤解。講話應(yīng)直截了當(dāng)，開門見山。例如，下面這句子就不是很好：

“As far as the study goes, the results tend to show an approximate relationship between growth rate and dietary intake.”

最好改為：

“The results show a weak relationship between growth rate and dietary intake.”

在醫(yī)學(xué)文章中，一些帶有主觀性的詞語除了在Discussion中偶可出現(xiàn)外，一般不宜應(yīng)用，例如perhaps，maybe，likely，suggests，it seems，possibly，probably等。

描寫程度的詞不要隨便使用，如：Substantial，adequate，considerable，actually，really，quite，rather，fairly，extremely，mostly，relatively，comparatively等，能用數(shù)字表達(dá)的則盡量用數(shù)字。

不要用比喻，包括明喻(simile)和暗喻(metaphor)，因?yàn)楸扔鞑豢赡馨俜种俅_當(dāng)，反而會(huì)歪曲原意。

英語中同義詞(Synonyms)特多，例如big的同義詞便有l(wèi)arge，great，grand，huge，immense，enormous，gigantic，collosal等好多個(gè)。在文學(xué)中往往大量使用同義詞使文章不致枯燥，但在醫(yī)學(xué)文章中切莫這樣做，因?yàn)獒t(yī)學(xué)上許多詞往往有特定的含義，不能任意更換的。例如symptom和sign在非醫(yī)學(xué)文章中可以互相換用，但在醫(yī)學(xué)文章中則絕對不行。又如significant在非科技文章中可解釋為“有意義的”、“重要的”、“有效的”、“值得注意的”，而在科技文章中只是指“統(tǒng)計(jì)學(xué)上顯著的”。又如approximately在科技上是指數(shù)值十分近似的，若只是一個(gè)很粗略的估計(jì)就不能用它，而只能用about或roughly。

下面列舉的這些成對的詞常易被互相錯(cuò)用。心中無把握的作者在使用前最好查一下詞典，并閱讀其中例句：

Alternatively, alternately; centre, middle; degree, extent; either, both; except, unless; generally, usually; homogenous, homogeneous; lengthy, long; limited, slight; major, great; minor, little; natural, normal; optimistic, hopeful; optimum, highest; provided that, if; quite, rather; several, some; similar, same; rare, singular; often, in many places; sometimes, in some places; superior, better than; view, opinion; virtually, almost; volume, amount; weather, climate; while, although.

2.Brevity

任何文章都要求寫得簡短些，科技文章尤其如此，特別要求避免嚕唆冗長(verbosity)、空話(emptiness)、套話(cliche)、長話(wordiness)、大話(pomposity)。下面這個(gè)句子是從國內(nèi)一本科技英語教材中找到的：

The onset of chronic leukemia is frequently so insidious that it is accidently discovered when a blood count is obtained for other reasons or when the patient reports to his physician that he has noted a few enlarged lymph nodes or felt, while bathing, a firm left upper quadrant abdominal mass.

它完全可以簡化成：

The onset of chronic leukemia is often insidious. It may be accidently found when a blood count is obtained for other reasons. Sometimes the patient’s own discovery of enlarged lymph nodes or a firm left upper quadrant abdominal mass may lead to its diagnosis.

The English language is about one-half redundant.(英語中約有一半是贅言)

其實(shí)這句話本身有一半是贅言，它可以改成：

English is half redundant.

這方面的例子多不勝數(shù)，隨便舉一些例子如下：

During the month of May可簡化成in May；on an experimental basis可簡化成by experiment；for a further period of ten years可簡化成for another 10 years；It consists essentially of two parts可簡化成It has 2 parts等等。

3.Clarity

文章表述清晣，首先在于作者思維的邏輯性和文章的條理性，不論用漢語或英語寫文章都有這個(gè)要求。

1973年美國出版了一本專門為非英語國家的醫(yī)生學(xué)習(xí)醫(yī)學(xué)英語而編寫的教材，其中有這樣一段話：

Prior to admission, the patient had a history of aching right upper quadrant abdominal pain of three months’ duration, which was rather sporadic in occurrence.

這句話完全可以簡寫成：

Before admission, the patient had occasional right upper abdominal pain for 3 months.

科技文章要能清晰地傳達(dá)信息往往需要用圖表來說明，因此應(yīng)盡量使用圖表。醫(yī)學(xué)文章有一個(gè)很壞的傳統(tǒng)，就是晦澀難懂，讓外行人看不懂。醫(yī)生的處方傳統(tǒng)是用拉丁文，就是讓患者看不懂。我們必須改一下這個(gè)文風(fēng)。

編者按：錢紹昌教授畢業(yè)于上海圣約翰大學(xué)醫(yī)學(xué)院。畢業(yè)后入廣慈醫(yī)院(現(xiàn)瑞金醫(yī)院)外科，后任燒傷科主任。1958年，廣慈醫(yī)院搶救鋼鐵工人邱財(cái)康成功，引起全國轟動(dòng)。著名作家柯靈將此事寫成劇本，1959年由天馬電影制片廠拍成電影。錢教授當(dāng)時(shí)為三名參加搶救的醫(yī)生之一。由于他的醫(yī)術(shù)高超，為我國灼傷醫(yī)學(xué)領(lǐng)域作出貢獻(xiàn)，1965年，錢紹昌曾赴京參加全國青聯(lián)代表大會(huì)，受到毛主席、劉主席、周總理和鄧總書記等中央領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的接見并合影留念。

錢教授不但是一名醫(yī)學(xué)專家，也是一名杰出的翻譯家。2004年中國譯協(xié)授予他“資深翻譯家”榮譽(yù)證書。在20年中，他共翻譯了700多部(集)影視片，有著名影片《鷹冠莊園》、《大飯店》、《成長的煩惱》、《根》、《荊棘鳥》、《卡薩布蘭卡》、《浮華世家》……其中3部獲全國電視譯制片一等獎(jiǎng)。在20世紀(jì)90年代，錢教授還翻譯了很多(中譯英)科技片，其中《冠心病》獲意大利國際電影節(jié)的金獎(jiǎng)，《逆火》獲德國第16屆柏林電視節(jié)大獎(jiǎng)——“亞洲未來獎(jiǎng)”。1993年，上海的遠(yuǎn)東出版社出版了他的《英語科技論文寫作概要》一書。

錢教授從1980年初，開始執(zhí)教于上海外國語大學(xué)的國際新聞系。

A Tentative Discussion on Medical English—Medical Experts are not English Experts

Qian Shaochang

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In view of the fact that many Chinese doctors, including a lot of experts, are making numerous language mistakes in their English language medical articles, the author analyses with concrete examples those mistakes commonly made in English medical articles and discusses the ABC of Science writing. Meanwhile, the author hopes Chinese doctors will improve their English language skills.

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H0-05

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1009-895X(2012)03-0169-04

2012-08-08

錢紹昌(1930-)，男，教授。研究方向：翻譯理論與實(shí)踐。E-mail: scqian1234@yahoo.cn