從本期開始,本專欄將連續(xù)推出“雅思寫作詞匯”系列。之所以推出這個系列,是因為老雅注意到,很多烤鴨對寫作中應該使用什么詞匯有很大的誤解,認為寫作中使用的詞匯應該越大越好。事實上,很多雅思寫作老師也持同樣觀點,因此在寫作教學過程中讓學生用所謂高級詞匯替換低級詞匯(比如用I reckon來代替I think),并認為這樣可以獲得閱卷老師的贊賞,從而獲得更好的分數(shù)。
老雅并不一味反對使用高級詞匯,但老雅相信無論什么詞,都要在表意上準確,在風格上適切。如果用“準確”和“適切”作為衡量標準,那么對很多烤鴨來說,使用所謂高級詞匯可能帶來三種風險:一是拼寫錯誤(如果由于拼寫錯誤導致句子意思讓人無法讀懂,那就會導致一個大錯誤);二是用法錯誤(詞匯越高級,使用的場合越受限制);三是文體錯誤(在一篇多數(shù)都是一般詞匯的文章里,突然插入幾個很高級的詞,其結(jié)果是破壞整個文體的統(tǒng)一性,讀起來極不協(xié)調(diào))。
那么,雅思高分寫作中,體現(xiàn)水平的詞到底長什么樣?我們先來看看《劍橋雅思》(13)中,考官對一篇7分作文使用的詞所做的評價:
詞匯豐富,顯示出一定的準確性和靈活度,有不太常見的用詞,文體正式,搭配正確。比如:complex,list of favourites,fits... my ability,specific area,many available channels。
很明顯,7分作文詞匯需要一定的幅度,同時需要正式的文體和正確的搭配,不能有過于口語或方言式的表達。這里順便說一句,被很多雅思老師推崇的I reckon,在表達“I suppose/think”這個意義時,其實只是一種特定群體才用的方言,不適合用于雅思作文中。那么,“一定幅度的詞匯”是指哪些詞呢?看看考官舉出的例子:complex、favorite、specific、available……我們發(fā)現(xiàn),所謂高分詞,其實不是那些嚇人的詞,而是一些相對不常用的普通詞而已。按照老雅的估算,雅思寫作高分詞匯幅度大約可以定位在大學英語四級詞匯表里的中高段詞匯,也就是4000—5000那些詞匯。
現(xiàn)在,我們一起看一篇劍橋雅思考官提供的雅思高分作文(加粗部分是高分詞/詞組)。
題目:Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a com-pulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?(劍橋雅思9,Test 2)
高分范文:It has been suggested that high school students should be involved in unpaid community services as a compulsory part of high school programmes. Most of the colleges are already providing opportunities to give work experience, however these are not compulsory. In my opinion, sending students to work in community services is a good idea as it can provide them with many sorts of valuable skills.
Life skills are very important and by doing voluntary work, students can learn how to communicate with others and work in a team but also how to manage their time and improve their organizational skills. Nowadays, unfortunately, teenagers do not have many after-school activities. After-school clubs are no longer that popular and students mostly go home and sit in front of the TV, browse the Internet or play video games.
By giving them compulsory work activities with charitable or community organizations, they will be encouraged to do something more creative. Skills gained through compulsory work will not only be an asset on their CV but also increase their employability. Students will also gain more respect towards work and money as they will realise that it is not that easy to earn them and hopefully will learn to spend them in a more practical way.
Healthy life and exercise are strongly promoted by the NHS, and therefore any kind of spare time charity work will prevent them from sitting and doing nothing. It could also possibly reduce the crime level in the high school age group. If students have activities to do, they will not be bored and come up with silly ideas which can be dangerous for them or their surroundings.
In conclusion, I think this is a very good idea, and I hope this programme will be put into action for high schools and colleges shortly.
大家不妨看看黑體標示出來的高分詞和詞組,里面并無炫酷的大詞:involve、provide、valuable、organizational、browse、creative、asset、practical、promote、shortly,這些詞即使在大學英語四級詞匯表里,也算不上最難的詞。而且這還是所謂的“9分作文”,如果烤鴨的目標僅僅是7分,還可以進一步將其中某些詞簡單化。比如這句:Skills gained through compulsory work will not only be an asset on their CV but also increase their employability. 如果烤鴨對asset和employability的用法不熟悉,可以將本句改為:Skills gained through compulsory work will not only be an attractive part of their CV but also help them find a job. 此外,老雅還想評論一下本范文最后一段中的“I think this is a very good idea”。很多所謂金牌雅思老師或雅思書籍上的黃金法則都告訴學生,不要用I think,不要用good, 不要用a very good idea,因為這些太簡單、太口語化。但事實上,在高分范文中,類似表達并不少見。我們反對的是通篇使用這樣簡單的表達法(因為沒有幅度),但這并不意味著這些表達法本身不能用在雅思寫作中。在一篇約250個單詞的作文中,有10個左右的詞屬于以上我們定義的高分詞(即四級詞匯表中的中高段詞匯)就夠了,其余240個詞用2000左右的一般詞匯就可以了。
接下來,老雅再舉一個反面的例子,看頻繁使用“高級詞”如何損害了作文的質(zhì)量(加粗部分是不合適的高級詞,劃線部分是語法失誤之處)。
The spread of multinational companies and the resulting increase in globalization produce positive effects to everyone. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? (2021年1月9日真題)
某機構(gòu)提供的范文:The world is moving in a direction where the tentacles of cross-national corporations are reaching to all corners of the world. While this trend has been applauded by the devotees of globalization as a blessing for everyone, I will say it is a generalized opinion ignoring the discrete interests of individuals.
There seems to be reasons why the prosperity of multinational companies and the ensuing globalization is assumed beneficial to all. Those who think in this way may point to legions of advantages in daily life, whether these be job opportunities, equal accessibility to the same product from any corners of the world, or the easy to reach after sales service wherever they go. Examples regarding these including the international brands such as Dell, Apple and McDonalds, all of which play a key role in employment and their products are becoming an imperative part in lives of various demographics. Given this, here comes the assumption that the populace is the whole beneficiary of a globalized economy.
Plausible though it seems, it is difficult for me to see the veneration of a globalized business world as a blessing to all. Those who focus on its positive side of this trend are oblivious to the fact that the ramifications of any social episodes should be domain specific and context dependent. Based on this, the discussion can then move on to hand questions as to which social impacts are more desirable in the local context or what local stakeholders value more. From the perspective of local industries in developing countries, the relentless invasion of international brands may oust them from local market. To complicate matters even more, the disappearance of indigenous artefacts may jeopardize the national identity and cultural diversity in the world.
From what has been discussed above, it is my opinion therefore, the benefits of a globalized economy dominated by multinational companies do not apply to everyone.
上文看起來高大上,高級詞匯滿天飛,實際上用詞和語法錯誤不斷,甚至有幾處讓人無法讀懂。整個作文讀起來裝腔作勢(pompous),極不順暢,根本不是現(xiàn)代英語的風格,倒有些接近19世紀維多利亞時代的扭捏文風(awkward style)。老雅強烈建議大家遠離這樣的“范文”。從用詞的角度,本文使用了不少超綱詞匯,比如tentacle、discrete、legions、populace、beneficiary、demographics、plausible、veneration、ramification、oust、indigenous,其中很多詞匯都是誤用,或讓本來明確的意思變得很模糊。令人匪夷所思的是,在一篇看起來正規(guī)得拿腔拿調(diào)的作文中,突然出現(xiàn)一句非??谡Z化的“here comes the assumption that...”,讀起來實在讓人忍俊不禁。
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