周利華

本文以2018年浙江高考英語讀后續(xù)寫真題為例，來探討如何巧用思維導圖助力讀后續(xù)寫。

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫，使之構成一個完整的故事。

It?was?summer，?and?my?dad?wanted?to?treat?me?to?a?vacation?like?never?before.?He?decided?to?take?me?on?a?trip?to?the?Wild?West.

We?took?a?plane?to?Albuquerque，?a?big?city?in?the?state?of?New?Mexico.?We?reached?Albuquerque?in?the?late?afternoon.?Uncle?Paul，?my?dads?friend，?picked?us?up?from?the?airport?and?drove?us?up?to?his?farm?in?Pecos.

His?wife?Tina?cooked?us?a?delicious?dinner?and?we?got?to?know?his?sons?Ryan?and?Kyle.?My?dad?and?I?spent?the?night?in?the?guestroom?of?the?farm?house?listening?to?the?frogs?and?water?rolling?down?the?river?nearby.?Very?early?in?the?morning，?Uncle?Paul?woke?us?up?to?have?breakfast.“The?day?starts?at?dawn?on?my?farm，”he?said.?After?breakfast，?I?went?to?help?Aunt?Tina?feed?the?chickens.?while?my?dad?went?with?Uncle?Paul?to?take?the?sheep?out?to?graze（吃草）.?I?was?impressed?to?see?my?dad?and?Uncle?Paul?riding?horses.?They?looked?really?cool.

In?the?afternoon，?I?asked?Uncle?Paul?if?I?could?take?a?horse?ride，?and?he?said?yes，?as?long?as?my?dad?went?with?me.?I?wasnt?going?to?take?a?horse?ride?by?myself?anyway.?So，?my?dad?and?I?put?on?our?new?cowboy?hats，?got?on?our?horses，?and?headed?slowly?towards?the?mountains.“Dont?be?late?for?supper，”Uncle?Paul?cried，“and?keep?to?the?track?so?that?you?dont?get?lost！”?“OK！”my?dad?cried?back.?After?a?while?Uncle?Paul?and?his?farm?house?were?out?of?sight.?It?was?so?peaceful?and?quiet?and?the?colors?of?the?brown?rocks，?the?deep?green?pine?trees，?and?the?late?afternoon?sun?mixed?to?create?a?magic?scene.?It?looked?like?a?beautiful?woven（編織的）?blanket?spread?out?upon?the?ground?just?for?us.

注意：

1.?所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應為l50左右;

2.?續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好。

Paragraph1：

Suddenly?a?little?rabbit?jumped?out?in?front?of?my?horse.

Paragraph2：

We?had?no?idea?where?we?were?and?it?was?getting?dark.

一、巧用思維導圖定主旨大意

在進行續(xù)寫前，要讀懂所給材料，把握文章主旨。那么如何確定主旨大意？讀后續(xù)寫的選材都是故事類記敘文，記敘文有六要素，分別是時間、地點、人物、事情的起因、事情的經(jīng)過、事情的結果。換句話說，只要把記敘文的六要素when，?where，?who，?what，?why，?how等弄明白，那么就可以抓住文本的主旨大意了。我們可以利用思維導圖迅速捕捉所給文本的主旨大意：

二、巧用思維導圖定續(xù)寫內容

抓住主旨大意之后，我們可以由第二段首句來推斷第一段的末尾。如根據(jù)We?had?no?idea?where?we?were?and?it?got?dark可推斷出第一段的末尾應為作者迷路了。由第一段首句Suddenly?a?little?rabbit?jumped?out?in?front?of?my?farm?horse可推斷，作者迷路是由于兔子的突然出現(xiàn)，導致馬受驚嚇而狂跑，最后我們迷路。我們可用如下的思維導圖確定續(xù)寫內容：

三、巧用思維導圖定語言特色

續(xù)寫段落的語言特色應與原文的語言特色保持一致。閱讀原文時我們可以將閱讀材料中的好的語言表達以思維導圖的形式羅列出來。如：

四、巧用思維導圖增細節(jié)描寫

如何增加細節(jié)描寫呢？首先，定了續(xù)寫內容之后，根據(jù)主要情節(jié)增加續(xù)寫內容中主人公的動作、語言、心理和周圍環(huán)境的描寫。其次，增加細節(jié)描寫的同時增加人與人之間內心心理變化的描寫或人與周圍環(huán)境等的描寫，讓故事首尾呼應。思維導圖如下：

參考范文：

Suddenly?a?little?rabbit?jumped?out?in?front?of?my?farm?horse.?My?horse?was?so?alarmed?due?to?the?unexpected?rabbit?that?it?began?to?run?ahead?wildly.?Worried?about?falling?off?the?horse，?I?was?almost?scared?to?death?on?the?back?of?the?horse?and?cried，?“Help！”loudly.?Hearing?my?frightened?voice，?my?dad?shouted，“Hold?on！”Not?feeling?frightened?at?the?approach?of?danger，?my?dad?instructed?me?to?control?my?horse?skillfully.?I?spared?no?effort?to?control?my?horse，?full?of?fear.?Ultimately，?my?horse?stopped?near?a?river，?dying?to?drink?some?water.?Without?paying?attention?to?the?track?in?panic，?we?couldnt?find?it?any?more.

We?had?no?idea?where?we?were?and?it?got?dark.?Although?the?night?scene?was?charming，?we?didnt?have?the?mood?to?admire?it.?We?were?at?a?loss，?immersed（沉浸）in?anxiety.?Suddenly，?it?occurred?to?my?dad?that?there?was?also?a?river?nearby?the?farm?house.?Therefore，?my?dad?advised?us?to?ride?along?the?river?with?the?aim?of?finding?Uncle?Pauls?house.?Luckily?，?the?sky?was?full?of?stars?and?a?full?moon，?providing?us?with?bright?light.?Twenty?minutes?later，?we?saw?the?light?of?Uncle?Pauls?house，?feeling?a?wave?of?relief.?I?thought?to?myself?that?our?adventurous?experience?added?a?special?taste?to?my?vacation，?which?I?would?remember?all?my?life.

范文點評：該文續(xù)寫部分和原文以及首句的融合度高。續(xù)寫段落語言表達豐富，運用了很多非謂語，比如Worried?about?falling?off?the?horse;Hearing?my?frightened?voice;Not?feeling?frightened?at?the?approach?of?danger;dying?to?drink?some?water;immersed?in?anxiety等。范文中用了一些短語使文章增色，如due?to?the?unexpected?rabbit，?be?almost?scared?to?death，?at?the?approach?of?danger，?spare?no?effort，?were?at?a?loss，?with?the?aim?of，?a?wave?of?relief等。范文中還用了一些副詞使文章增色，如wildly;loudly，?skillfully，?ultimately，?suddenly，?luckily等。總之，文章運用各種語言表達方式，使續(xù)寫情節(jié)描寫細膩生動。

責任編輯 蔣小青