汪萬芹

眾所周知，做好讀后續(xù)寫的前提是充分理解已給的閱讀材料，只有讀懂所給材料，才能續(xù)寫好后面的內(nèi)容。從歷年的續(xù)寫題來看，原文都是故事類的記敘文，記敘文的閱讀方式有相對(duì)固定的模式，下面舉例說明讀什么，怎么讀。

閱讀下面材料，?根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，?使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

Alex?stared?through?the?cabin（小木屋）window?at?the?darkness.?Soon?his?dad?would?call?him.“Were?ready，”Dad?said?as?he?came?in?from?the?passage.“Grab?your?pole.”Alex?turned?away?from?the?window?and?slowly?picked?up?his?fishing?pole.

“We?should?have?done?this?before，”?Dad?said.“Lets?go?catching?a?big?one！?Maybe?we?can?see?some?rare?insects?and?animals，?such?as?fireflies（螢火蟲）and?whippoorwills（夜鷹）！”?Dad?picked?up?his?tackle?box，?pole，?and?bait（餌）can?from?the?passageway.

They?walked?down?the?hill?toward?the?lake.?The?only?thing?Alex?could?see?was?the?circle?of?weeds?and?rocks?at?their?feet.

Insect?voices?filled?his?ears.?Hundreds?of?insects?waited?in?the?dark?to?attack.“Mosquitoes，”Dad?said.?“I?brought?some?spray（噴劑）to?keep?them?off.”

Suddenly?something?rushed?past?Alexs?head.?He?gasped.?“What?was?that？”

“Probably?a?bat，”Dad?said.

“Will?bats?be?flying?around?our?heads?the?whole?time？”?“This?is?their?time?to?be?out?catching?insects，”Dad?explained.?“They?wont?hurt?you.”He?pushed?the?boat?off?the?small?stones?and?jumped?in.

Dad?rowed?to?the?middle?of?the?lake?and?stopped.?“Well?just?let?the?boat?drift（漂流）for?a?while.?Keep?the?flashlight?in?the?bottom?of?the?boat.?The?fish?wont?bite?if?they?see?light?flashing?around.?When?weve?done?baiting?our?hooks（鉤），?well?turn?the?light?off.”

Leaning?down?to?get?closer?to?the?light，?Alex?tried?to?thread?a?worm?on?his?hook，?but?he?couldnt?seem?to?work?his?fingers?right.?So?what?if?the?worm（蠕蟲）was?only?partly?on?the?hook？?He?didnt?want?to?fish?anyway.?He?didnt?even?want?to?be?here.

Dad?switched?off?the?flashlight，?and?the?night?fell?over?them?like?a?heavy?cape（斗篷）.“I?cant?see?anything，”Alex?said?weakly.

“The?moons?half?full.?It?gives?us?some?light，”Dad?said.

Alex?looked?up.?Surely?enough，?there?was?the?moon.?And?he?could?see?the?shoreline?and?the?dark?forms?of?trees.

注意：

1.?所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;

2.?續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好。

Paragraph?1：

Looking?into?the?trees?on?the?shore，?Alex?noticed?tiny?points?of?light?twinkling（閃爍）there.

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Paragraph?2：

Alex?didnt?answer.?He?had?never?heard?such?an?odd，?exciting?birdcall--sad?but?zippy（活潑的）.

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一、速讀——抓要素，理情節(jié)

對(duì)于記敘文的六要素，即5W1H的問題，大家一定很熟悉，因此，在快速閱讀原文后，不難找到人物、時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)、事情、原因、方式，如下表。

二、細(xì)讀——知人物，找沖突

第二遍細(xì)讀，目標(biāo)是找到反映人物性格特點(diǎn)的描寫，包括人物的動(dòng)作、對(duì)話、心理等（如下頁表）。在第1段中，Dad說了兩個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短的句子“Were?ready，”?“Grab?your?pole.”，反映出他對(duì)夜釣的期待與興奮;而Alex則是slowly?picked?up?his?fishing?pole，slowly一詞則表明他的態(tài)度與父親截然相反，他沒有那么高興，似乎是不情愿地做了爸爸的跟班。

從第4段前兩句Insect?voices?filled?his?ears.?Hundreds?of?bugs?waited?in?the?dark?to?attack看出，Alex對(duì)于夜晚的野外環(huán)境非常陌生，感到危機(jī)四伏，覺得“在黑暗中成百上千的蟲子會(huì)伺機(jī)攻擊”他;對(duì)于他的反應(yīng)，Dad說“Mosquitoes，”?“?I?brought?some?spray?to?keep?them?off.”這里，我們是不是能看出Dad非常熟悉野外自然環(huán)境，應(yīng)對(duì)蚊子叮咬很有經(jīng)驗(yàn)？同時(shí)，細(xì)心的讀者也能借助同理心，看出父親很關(guān)注兒子的反應(yīng)，耐心幫助他克服障礙。同理，在接下來的5～7段關(guān)于bats的問題討論，通過父子間的對(duì)話，勾勒出兒子對(duì)于大自然缺乏了解而感到害怕，和父親對(duì)大自然了如指掌形成鮮明反差。

以上是舉例說明在第二次閱讀中，要留意找到反映人物性格特點(diǎn)的描寫，大家可以用不同顏色的筆標(biāo)示出不同人物的描寫，然后用關(guān)鍵詞總結(jié)出人物的性格，如下表：

“沒有沖突，不成故事”，好故事會(huì)借助沖突來展現(xiàn)人物并揭示主題。從以上人物性格分析可以清楚地看出，故事到此展露出兩方面的沖突：一是人物之間的沖突，對(duì)于夜釣，興沖沖的爸爸和不情愿的兒子;二是人物與環(huán)境的沖突，Alex對(duì)野外環(huán)境的陌生和恐懼。在這二者中，后者是主要沖突，因?yàn)橐坏┙鉀Q了Alex與大自然的沖突，即他不再害怕大自然，那么，也就很自然地會(huì)轉(zhuǎn)變對(duì)于夜釣的態(tài)度。

三、定發(fā)展與結(jié)局

找到了沖突，也就為后面的續(xù)寫提供了方向，基本上，接下來的兩個(gè)段落中，一段要交代故事的繼續(xù)發(fā)展，另一段則交代結(jié)局。

這時(shí)，閱讀兩段的段首句十分重要。第一段首句：Looking?into?the?trees?on?the?shore，?Alex?noticed?tiny?points?of?light?twinkling?there.?讀到這里，我們不禁要問：What?are?those?tiny?points?of?light？?根據(jù)本句的提示the?trees和twinkling，結(jié)合前文描寫夜晚的野外自然環(huán)境，再聯(lián)系我們對(duì)大自然的知識(shí)，不難推斷出這些一閃一閃的光點(diǎn)就是螢火蟲。接著，我們要問：What?will?Alex?feel?about?them？?Will?he?still?feel?afraid?of?them？

再看續(xù)寫的第二段首句：Alex?didnt?answer.?He?had?never?heard?such?an?odd，?exciting?birdcall--sad?but?zippy（活潑的）.?顯然，這里有人問了Alex問題，但是，由于沉浸在birdcall中他沒有應(yīng)答，這種鳥鳴是怪怪的、令人激動(dòng)的、有些憂傷但又是活潑的，作者連用四個(gè)形容詞來描述Alex聽到鳥鳴的感受，注意這四個(gè)詞的感情色彩，前兩個(gè)一個(gè)中性（odd），一個(gè)褒義（exciting）;后兩個(gè)中雖使用了sad，但but表明說話者更強(qiáng)調(diào)后者，也就是說著重在zippy上。因此，明顯可以看出Alex很享受自然界的鳥鳴聲，結(jié)合上一段看到的點(diǎn)點(diǎn)螢火蟲光，不難推斷出Alex對(duì)大自然的喜愛，到此，小男孩完成了對(duì)自然界的恐懼到欣賞的心理轉(zhuǎn)變。

結(jié)合前面閱讀的沖突分析，續(xù)寫部分的主要內(nèi)容是：Alex看到螢火蟲，點(diǎn)點(diǎn)螢光美不勝收，爸爸關(guān)切地詢問;Alex沒有回答，因?yàn)樗牭搅锁B鳴聲，沉浸其中，一掃對(duì)大自然的恐懼，取而代之的是由衷的喜愛。

總之，分步驟閱讀原文，抓住要素、理清情節(jié)、分析人物、找到?jīng)_突;再讀已給的段首句，確定情節(jié)的發(fā)展以及故事的結(jié)局，做完這些準(zhǔn)備工作，我們就可以動(dòng)筆寫了。

附：參考范文

Looking?into?the?trees?on?the?shore，?Alex?noticed?tiny?points?of?light?twinkling?there.?The?longer?he?looked，?the?more?flashes?he?saw.?Hundreds?of?them！They?looked?like?stars?coming?down?from?the?sky.?Alexs?eyes?were?shining?with?excitement.“What?was?that？”Alex?asked?curiously.“Fireflies.”?Dad?answered?with?a?big?smile.?Alex?reached?out?to?touch?the?small“spirits”and?they?just?danced?gracefully（優(yōu)雅地）and?quietly?around?him?in?the?darkness.?Absorbed，?he?was?pulled?back?to?reality?by?a?clear?and?nice?birdcall.“Its?whippoorwill！?Isnt?it?beautiful？”Dad?whispered?gently.

Alex?didnt?answer.?He?had?never?heard?such?an?odd，?exciting?birdcall--?sad?but?zippy（活潑的）.?It?blocked?out?everything?else.?Actually?the?other?night?creatures?seemed?to?stay?quiet?for?a?while?to?listen?to?the?whippoorwill.?Smiling，?Alex?reeled?in（拉起）his?line，?put?on?a?worm?and?cast?out?again.?They?only?got?three?fish，?so?small?that?they?put?them?back?into?the?lake.?When?back?to?the?cabin，?Alex?saw?his?Mom?and?whispered?to?her，“Mom，?listen！A?whippoorwill！”

責(zé)任編輯 蔣小青