Amirah Ahmad

每個人自出生的那一刻起就被規(guī)定了國籍，這仿佛是我們最根本的身份標(biāo)簽，熱愛祖國也是我們最自然和最基本的道德底線。但跳出國界，我到底是誰？我對于這個世界意味著什么？世界于我又是什么樣子？作為世界公民，我們在抵制歧視和種族主義的同時，有沒有真正地嘗試去融入這個世界？也許只有在探尋四海一家的路上，我們才會遇見真正的自己。

It’s been a year and a half since I’ve been writing for this literary magazine.Nearly every month, I’ve written a piece about American traditions and customs as well as stories about China and Inner Mongolia from “American” perspective.From my point of view, I’ve been hoping to shed some light on1. shed light on： 使……被充分理解，闡明。the United States to people who may have not been there and want or to people who simply are curious about the culture.

However, I have come to realize that my incessant coverage on “American”customs is an effect of inherent, zealous nationalism.2. incessant： 不斷的，連續(xù)的；coverage： 新聞報道；inherent： 固有的，內(nèi)在的；zealous：熱情的。I’ve been transforming my patriotic3. patriotic： 愛國的。thoughts into words. I managed to embed4. embed： 作為本質(zhì)部分體現(xiàn)。the pride I have in my country into my stories. I’m writing to apologize. Although nationalism is an admirable quality for citizens across the globe, we must realize that it divides us. We have 196 countries in the world, each carrying its own culture, society, economy, and population. Each of these countries has a population that, hopefully, is proud of its nation. What often occurs, however, is our nationalism blinds us of seeing the world as one uni fied compilation5. compilation： 匯集。of people. We’re not a common being, rather a being in common.6. 我們不是普通的個人，而是共同的存在。

After realizing my own American-leaning bias has slipped through my articles,I have slowly started to acknowledge the hardcore7. hardcore： 中堅的，根深蒂固。nationalism that dominates each citizen. Blind nationalism not only divides the world in 196 compartments,but also inhibits cosmopolitanism.8. compartment： 隔間，區(qū)劃；inhibit： 抑制，約束；cosmopolitanism： 世界主義，四海一家。Rather than being citizens of our respective9. respective： 分別的，各自的。nation, is it not better to be citizens of the world? As citizens of the world, our urges to discriminate, be racist, or be possessive of our culture would be impeded by our desire to be part of the global community.10. 作為世界公民，我們原有的歧視、種族主義以及對自己文化的獨占心理都將被我們四海一家的愿望所代替。possessive： 不愿與人分享的，有獨占欲望的；impede：阻礙，妨礙。

After all, what is a nation? The only thing that separates me, in America,from you, in China, is an ocean. I read about Chinese news every day, thinking about my friends and colleagues I’ve left behind from two summers ago. Nations are nothing but geographical locations, so to divide ourselves according to our national borders is preposterous11. preposterous： 荒謬的，可笑的。.

What made me realize the importance of cosmopolitanism was when the world practiced it. The day of the Taliban Peshawar school massacre12. Taliban Peshawar school massacre： 巴基斯坦白沙瓦塔利班武裝襲擊軍校事件。2014年12月16日，塔利班武裝分子襲擊了巴基斯坦西北部地區(qū)一個軍隊管理學(xué)校，死亡人數(shù)達130余人，120余人受傷，遇難者多為孩子。in which at least 132 children have died was one of the most cosmopolitan days I have witnessed.It seems like the death of innocence has a certain power that can move the hearts of millions. Across the entire world, people condemned the attack, expressing their disgust of targeting the children.13. condemn： 譴責(zé)；disgust： 厭惡。Everyone I spoke to that day mentioned the attack. On Twitter, people from England, America, Pakistan, and Indonesia were sounding off14. sound off ： 高談闊論，大聲疾呼。on the massacre. For a number of hours, we were united as citizens of the globe, all expressing our concerns for the children and disgust for the attackers. The unity we expressed should be consistent, every day, every week,every year. We must unite, we must acknowledge we’re all parts of a whole. A beautiful, earthly, wholesome15. wholesome： 健康的，健全的。, whole.

The preceding paragraph sounded like a great way to end my dialogue, right?However, I have one more piece of knowledge I’d like to share with you, that may or may not connect to my previous points. It links to the same idea of readjusting identity, but more on a personal level. It’s funny. Adults used to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. When I was 5, I would tell them I wanted to be a doctor. Later, I realized I pass out16. pass out： 暈倒，昏厥。at the sight of blood. When I was 7, I would tell people I wanted to be a vet17. vet： 獸醫(yī)，veterinarian的縮寫。. That was only because my other friends wanted to be veterinarians. When I was 12, I wanted to be a neurologist18. neurologist： 神經(jīng)病學(xué)家，神經(jīng)科醫(yī)師。. I soon realized I did not want to go to medical school. When I was 16, I told people I wanted to become a journalist. That dream has passed me by as well. Adults don’t ask me what I want to be when I grow up anymore, because frankly, I’ve grown up quite a bit. They assume I’m on the path of becoming what I want to be. Let me tell you a little secret: I have no idea where I’m headed.

Countless people have told me that it’s ok if I don’t know what I want to do,but subconsciously19. subconsciously： 潛意識地。feel like they’re all lying. I should know what I want to do by now, or at least have an inkling20. inkling： 模糊概念，略知。of my interests. How can I know my interests when I don’t even know who I am? Alright, I may be a little melodramatic21. melodramatic： 夸張的。now but it’s a serious question. Who are you? What world do we live in? What is your identity? Are you de fined by your country? Am I simply an American and are you simply Chinese? Is there more to our national identity or are we small,unrecognized little pieces in the game that is life? I hope I have aroused some selfidentity questions, because I believe that’s what life is all about. We struggle to find ourselves. This may be the reason why we are guilty of such strong nationalism.We don’t know who we are, but we know what our country is, so we’ll stand by it to the end. It’s important to separate ourselves from the masses, however. It’s even more important to stick with the masses, because we learn about ourselves through others. We mustn’t limit our identities to what we know. Instead, we must explore the world, different countries and customs, and different people. Despite such incongruities22. incongruity： 不協(xié)調(diào)，不一致。, we may be able to finally learn about ourselves.

I realize this wasn’t the typical column I usually write, but I believe in spontaneity23. spontaneity： 自發(fā)性。. I sat down at my desk and began to write down my thoughts, and here they are. I assume many of my readers are young adults, trying to make a living or a meaning of life. Although I am unsure myself, I’m here to tell you that you’ll be okay as long as you explore. Try new things and take risks and somewhere along the way you will find yourself.