主" 持" 人：謝建民（正高級(jí)教師，江蘇省特級(jí)教師）

本期撰稿：江蘇省無錫市謝建民名師工作室成員陶弘揚(yáng)（江蘇省南菁高級(jí)中學(xué)實(shí)驗(yàn)學(xué)校）

The 23rd day of La Yue in northern China and the 24th day of the same lunar month in southern China are the Xiao Nian Festival on the Chinese lunar calendar. Xiao Nian is also known as “Little （Chinese） New Year，” marking the start of the Spring Festival period.

On this day， people usually do house-cleaning. It’s said that most of the gods go back to heaven to state their work in the concluded year， so people can do the cleaning without disturbing them.

In the northeast of China， people make a great deal of Nian Dou Bao， a kind of bun made of glutinous rice（糯米） filled with red bean paste. Nian Dou Bao is also a main food during the Spring Festival.

Traditionally， many families eat pork to symbolize prosperity and celebration. Those families who don’t raise pigs go to the local fair for purchasing a large piece of meat. In the past， people hardly had a chance to enjoy meat except for the Spring Festival.

People usually wash clothes and take a bath on this day. Those activities stand for washing off all the bad luck and illness in the upcoming Chinese New Year.

People in most of the areas get up early to sweep tombs for their ancestors and burn incense（熏香） and joss papers（紙錢） in memorial of them. This is also a reflection of the traditional value “Xiao”， or filial piety（孝順）， in Chinese culture.

The Spring Festival Eve is considered as the most important day for family reunion， drawing those who work or study away from hometown back for a grand dinner and the viewing of the Spring Festival gala. They stay up late and wait to ring in the New Year. A must-eat food is dumplings. Elders give kids red envelopes with cash in them for expressing good luck.

1. Among all the activities above， which one impresses you most？ Why？

2. Do you have a special way to celebrate the Spring Festival in your hometown？ What is it？

假如你是Li Hua，你的筆友馬里奧對(duì)中國的春節(jié)十分好奇，他今年想來中國過新年。請(qǐng)你給他寫一封信，介紹一下春節(jié)的一些習(xí)俗。

原文呈現(xiàn)

Dear Mario，

I hear that you’re interested in the Spring Festival. I’m happy to tell you something about it.

The Spring Festival is on the first day of the first lunar month. I usually clean my house before the festival. My family members and I come back home from faraway places， because it’s time to get together.

On that eve， I have a big and delicious dinner. Then I watch TV till midnight. When the clock strikes 12， I say goodbye to the old year and welcome the new one in different ways.

I like the Spring Festival， because I can get red packets and wear new clothes. It makes me happy.

Wish you a happy new year in China！

Yours

Li Hua

如果能在描述春節(jié)所在的具體月份之外，對(duì)春節(jié)的內(nèi)涵稍做介紹，效果會(huì)更好。描述的節(jié)前準(zhǔn)備缺乏時(shí)間邏輯，打掃的屋子指代不明確。

that指代不明，并且與上一段缺乏過渡句。末尾的different ways也沒有表達(dá)清楚具體方式，不如刪去。

整篇文章使用了較多簡(jiǎn)單句，句與句之間可以加入一些連詞，讓文章讀起來更有層次。

升格展示

Dear Mario，

I’m thrilled to hear that you’re interested in the Spring Festival. I’m happy to tell you something about it.

The Spring Festival is one of the Chinese traditional festivals with a long history. It marks a period of joy and renewal and usually comes in January or February.

Before the Spring Festival， my family members and I come back home from faraway places. We get together and make some preparations， such as cleaning the house and doing some shopping.

On Chinese New Year’s Eve， we have a big and delicious dinner， then we watch TV for special New Year broadcasts till midnight. As the clock strikes midnight， we say goodbye to the old year and greet the new one with some spectacular blaze of fireworks.

I like the Spring Festival because I can get red packets and wear new clothes. It makes me happy and satisfied.

Wish you a happy new year in China！

Yours

Li Hua

綜合點(diǎn)評(píng)

升格后的作文段與段之間的過渡更加自然，對(duì)于春節(jié)的介紹更加全面簡(jiǎn)潔。與原文相比，小作者談?wù)撊绾螠?zhǔn)備過春節(jié)時(shí)調(diào)整了句子語序，使文章的邏輯性更強(qiáng)。對(duì)于春節(jié)活動(dòng)的描述也更加具體、豐富，同時(shí)適當(dāng)增加了連詞的使用，讓文章讀起來更具層次感。