張秋紅 楊燕

下面通過例題說明，我們在做讀后續(xù)寫時應(yīng)遵循的三個基本步驟。

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

Every?Sunday，?Grandma?and?I?walked?to?the?Childrens?home?a?few?blocks?away?from?our?house.?Grandma?always?brings?a?home-made?cake?to?these?children，?who?are?of?different?nationalities?and?ages.?Some?are?refugees（難民）who?cannot?talk?in?English，?some?are?even?disabled.

First?we?visit?John，?who?is?from?Brazil.?I?call?him“Football?genius”.?He?plays?football?so?well?that?he?organized?a?football?team?to?help?other?kids?develop?football?skills，?such?as?passing?and?ball?control.?Every?time?we?reached?the?playground，?we?saw?a?group?of?sweaty?kids?running?around?a?field?with?bright?smiles.

Next?we?visit?Daisy.?I?call?her“The?singer”because?she?has?a?great?gift?for?singing.?She?loves?to?sing?songs?for?us.?Wherever?she?stays，?her?soft?and?sweet?voice?fills?the?air.

Then?we?visit?David.?I?call?him“Prince（王子）Joke”.?He?can?do?talk?show，?crosstalk（相聲），?tell?jokes.?Sometimes?he?laughs?loudly?while?telling?jokes，?we?could?see?his?legs?shaking?up?and?down，?his?face?turning?red.?Grandma?and?I?cant?help?laughing?along?with?him.

One?day，?Grandma?fell?ill?and?had?to?stay?in?bed.?She?was?in?a?low?spirit?and?couldnt?move.

Sunday?came.?Grandma?put?my?hand?into?her?hand?and?told?me“Rose?given，?fragrance（芳香）in?hand.”I?understood?what?she?meant，?I?bought?a?cake?from?shop?and?went?to?childrens?home.?Everyone?was?happy?to?see?me.?They?were?disappointed?when?they?didnt?see?grandma.?Knowing?grandma?was?sick，?they?were?sad.?They?prayed?together?for?grandmas?recovery.?After?a?while，?I?said?goodbye?to?everyone.

A?week?later，?grandma?was?still?lying?in?bed.?She?could?not?walk?or?speak，?what?she?could?do?was?drink?some?milk.?I?begged?her?to?go?to?hospital.?She?shook?her?head.?I?hid?myself?under?the?big?tree?in?our?yard?so?Grandma?wouldnt?see?tears?on?my?cheeks.

注意：

1.?續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;

2.?請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

Suddenly，?the?door?bell?rang.

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That?evening，?grandma?called?me?in?her?bedroom.

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一、閱讀所給材料，理清故事要點(diǎn)

仔細(xì)閱讀所給故事材料，搞清楚故事的主要人物（who）、時間（when）、地點(diǎn)（where）、事件（what），原因（why），及如何發(fā)展（how）。即五個W和1個how，也就是記敘文的六要素。如上述題目所給材料的六要素是：

文章的大意就是作者的奶奶很有愛心，經(jīng)?？赐＠旱暮⒆觽儯私夂⒆觽兊膼酆锰亻L。一天奶奶生病了，依舊牽掛著孩子們，讓作者去探望孩子們。作者把奶奶生病的消息告訴給了福利院的孩子。奶奶的病情加重，還喪失了信心，不肯去醫(yī)院。作者焦慮萬分。

二、捕捉首句信息，構(gòu)思續(xù)寫情節(jié)

1.?理解paragraph?1所給句：Suddenly，?the?door?bell?rang（突然，門鈴響了）.

前文結(jié)尾，奶奶病重，情緒低落，拒不就醫(yī)，由首句中的Suddenly可知，有了轉(zhuǎn)機(jī)。可以bell?ring為突破口，運(yùn)用記敘文的六要素構(gòu)思情節(jié)：

門鈴響了，是誰來看望奶奶來了？帶著這個問題，讀者來構(gòu)思第一個續(xù)寫段落。

誰（who）來看望奶奶？帶來了什么（what）？為什么（why）要來探望？如何（how）進(jìn)行探望的？奶奶的感受如何（how）？?根據(jù)這一系列的問題，迅速構(gòu)思情節(jié)并組織語言。

2.?理解續(xù)寫的Paragraph?2首句：That?evening，?grandma?called?me?in?her?bedroom（那天晚上，奶奶把我叫到她的臥室）.

思考：奶奶叫我進(jìn)來做什么，?先在頭腦中構(gòu)思各種可能性：

（1）Grandma?wants?to?go?to?hospital.

（2）Grandma?was?hungry，?she?needs?to?eat?something.

（3）Grandma?wants?to?go?to?Childrens?home.

三、根據(jù)構(gòu)思情節(jié)，考慮語言表達(dá)

1.?蒼白的臉上浮現(xiàn)出困惑的表情。

A?confused?look?appeared?on?her?pale?face.

2.?臉上露出了滿足的微笑。

A?satisfied?smile?flashed?on?her?face.

3.?眼里閃現(xiàn)著喜悅的光芒。

Her?eyes?were?shining?with?joy.

4.?一個聲音回響在他的腦海里。

A?voice?echoed?/？謖ek？藜？尬/?in?her?mind.

5.?孩子們的微笑閃現(xiàn)在她的腦海里。

Childrens?smiles?flashed?through?her?mind.

6.?一個用水果裝飾的好看的心形蛋糕

a?nice-looking?cake?decorated?with?fruits?in?the?shape?of?heart

7.?一張色彩鮮艷的照片

a?bright-colored?picture

8.?一大碗粥

a?big?bowl?of?porridge

9.?她掙扎著站起來。

She?struggle?to?her?feet.

10.?聚集起她所有的體力

gather?all?her?strength

11.?忍住眼淚

hold?back?tears

12.?睜開她的眼睛坐起來

opened?her?eyes?and?sat?up

13.?喝了一大碗粥，嘗了一小塊蛋糕

drank?a?big?bowl?of?porridge?and?tasted?a?bit?of?cake

14.?打開錄音機(jī)

switched?on?the?recorder

15.?把錄音機(jī)和照片抱在她的懷里

hugged?the?recorder?and?picture?into?her?arms

16.?輕輕地，她告訴我她第二天要去醫(yī)院。

Gently，?she?told?me?she?would?go?to?hospital?the?next?day.

17.?很明顯，她渴望盡快恢復(fù)，以便去看望那些可愛的孩子。

Evidently，?she?was?eager?to?recover?soon?to?visit?the?lovely?kids?.

18.?內(nèi)心充滿喜悅

overwhelmed?/？謣o？尬v？藜r？謖welm/?by?enormous?joy

19.奔向他的懷抱

throw?herself?into?his?arms

20.?淚眼朦朧中，他們擁抱到一起。

With?teary?eyes，they?hugged?together.

21.?無法隱藏他的激動

cant?conceal?/k？藜n？謖si：l/?his?excitement

22.?迫不及待地跟她分享喜悅的消息

cant?wait?to?share?the?exciting?news?with?her

23.?喜悅的淚水沖出了她的眼眶

happy?tears?welled?up?in?her?eyes

在考慮好語言表達(dá)之后，就連句成篇，然后仔細(xì)檢查;準(zhǔn)備無誤后，認(rèn)真謄寫，并注意書寫規(guī)范，字跡整潔。

參考范文

Suddenly，?the?door?bell?rang.?Grandma?opened?her?eyes?and?sat?up.?A?confused?look?appeared?on?her?pale?face.?Suddenly，?a?loud?laughter?came?into?my?ears.“Its?David，?the?Joke?Prince.”?I?shouted.“We?miss?you.”David?rushed?to?grandma?with?a?delicate?cake?in?his?hands.?It?was?a?nice-looking?cake?decorated?with?fruits?in?the?shape?of?heart.“The?cake?is?made?by?all?children?in?the?nursery?home.”David?said?and?switched?on?the?recorder，?a?sweet?voice?filled?the?air.?It?was?a?song?sung?by?Daisy.?Magically，?he?took?out?a?picture.?In?the?picture，?grandma?was?watching?Johns?football?team?playing?football.

That?evening，?grandma?called?me?in?her?bedroom.?She?said?she?was?hungry.?She?drank?a?big?bowl?of?porridge?and?tasted?a?bit?of?cake.?A?satisfied?smile?flashed?on?her?face.?Her?eyes?were?shining?with?joy.?With?tears?in?her?eyes，?she?hugged?the?recorder?and?picture?into?her?arms.?She?told?me?she??would?go?to?hospital?the?next?day.?She?was?eager?to?recover?soon?to?visit?the?lovely?kids.“?What?a?magic?visit！”I?whispered.?Nothing?is?more?fantastic?than?being?needed?and?valued.

責(zé)任編輯 蔣小青