安徽 胡發(fā)高

★話題概述

“羊羔知跪乳，烏鴉懂反哺”，人應(yīng)該懷有感恩之心。我們應(yīng)該感謝父母的養(yǎng)育之恩，因?yàn)樗麄優(yōu)榱宋覀兊某砷L(zhǎng)日夜操勞；我們應(yīng)該感謝老師的教導(dǎo)之情，因?yàn)樗麄兊恼佌伣虒?dǎo)使我們學(xué)到了知識(shí)，學(xué)會(huì)了做人；我們應(yīng)該感謝所有幫助過我們的人，因?yàn)樗麄冊(cè)谖覀冏钚枰獛椭鷷r(shí)出手相助，使我們戰(zhàn)勝困難并走出困境。感恩他人，這是一個(gè)永遠(yuǎn)值得被“點(diǎn)贊”的話題。

該話題的寫作通常以記敘文為主，通過具體事例來體現(xiàn)某人的恩德，以及我們的感激之情。

★佳作賞評(píng)

My name is Mary and now I'm a newspaper reporter.I chose this job because I could travel around the world.The work has taught me many unforgettable lessons.I have seen wars,earthquakes and death.But I have also seen courage,hope and happiness.

Last year,I won a prize for my reporting in Africa.At first,I thought I got the prize because of my personal ability.But then I found I was wrong.I must thank many people for their help.Without their help,how could I have got the prize.

I was born in Jamaica.My family was not rich at that time.My parents had to work hard so that I could go to school.At school,I was not a top student,but I enjoyed writing.My English teacher said,“Mary,you are a wonderful writer.”I was greatly encouraged by what he said,and from then on,I kept on practicing.

A few years later,I began to look for a job.It was very difficult to find a job then.Then,one day,I went to see an editor of a newspaper to ask for a job.The editor gave me a job.“Everyone needs a chance at first.”he said.

It was my English teacher who encouraged me to be a writer.And it was the editor who gave me a chance to work.Now I realize that I must thank all the people who have helped me.

【權(quán)威點(diǎn)評(píng)】

這是一篇記敘文。作者以倒敘的方法寫作，講述了自己在一次獲獎(jiǎng)后的感受。她原以為獲獎(jiǎng)是她的能力所致，但后來發(fā)現(xiàn)這是眾人相助的結(jié)果。她的父母辛勤勞作供她上學(xué)，英語老師深情鼓勵(lì)她寫作，編輯給她難得的工作機(jī)會(huì)。這一切使她認(rèn)識(shí)到，她必須感謝所有幫助過她的人。

本文簡(jiǎn)單句和并列句居多，淺顯易懂，同時(shí)也運(yùn)用了幾個(gè)經(jīng)典句型。例如：

1.I chose this job because I could travel around the world.（表示因果關(guān)系的復(fù)合句）

2.My parents had to work hard so that I could go to school.（so that...表示目的）

3.It was very difficult to find a job then.（It is+形容詞+不定式短語）

4.It was my English teacher who encouraged me to be a writer.（It is...who...強(qiáng)調(diào)句型）

5.And it was the editor who gave me a chance to work.（It is...who...強(qiáng)調(diào)句型）

6.Now I realize that I must thank all the people who have helped me.（含賓語從句和定語從句）

文中還運(yùn)用了多個(gè)亮點(diǎn)短語，如at first、because of、at that time、work hard、from then on、keep on、look for、ask for等。

★寫作點(diǎn)撥

1.時(shí)態(tài)定位

通過“感恩生活”間接“感恩他人”的短文，時(shí)態(tài)應(yīng)根據(jù)表述的需要而定。敘述故事情節(jié)時(shí)，常用與過去相關(guān)的時(shí)態(tài)。表述感激之情時(shí)，常用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)和一般將來時(shí)。

2.經(jīng)典詞句

寫感恩父母、老師、同學(xué)、朋友，以及其他幫助過我們的人時(shí)，所涉及的主要詞匯和句型通常有以下這些：

【高頻詞語】

father父親，mother母親，parents父母親，teacher老師，student學(xué)生，doctor醫(yī)生，nurse護(hù)士，classmate同班同學(xué)，schoolmate同學(xué)，workmate同事，friend朋友，family家庭，school學(xué)校，hospital醫(yī)院，thanks謝意，kindness好意，thankful感謝的，grateful感激的，selfless無私的，appreciate感謝，thank感謝，help幫助，love愛戴，teach教，fail失敗，succeed成功，remember牢記，forget忘記，always總是，forever永遠(yuǎn)，never永不

【典型句型】

1.As the saying goes,“parents'love is universal”.常言道：“可憐天下父母心”。

2.Parents'love is like the warmth of the sun.父母之愛就像溫暖的太陽。

3.You treated me not only as your student,but also as a good friend of yours.您不僅把我看作您的學(xué)生，而且把我看作您的好朋友。

4.Without your teaching,I would not have succeeded today.沒有您的教誨，就不會(huì)有我今天的成功。

5.You're my best friend/classmate in my life.您是我一生中最好的朋友（同學(xué)）。

6.I couldn't have done it without you.若是沒有您，我是不可能做到的。

7.It is at a time like this that I really appreciate the kindness of a friend.只有在這樣的時(shí)刻，我才會(huì)真正領(lǐng)略到朋友的深情厚誼。

8.I'm truly grateful for your help.我非常感激您的幫助。

9.Thank you for all that you have done for me.謝謝您為我所做的一切。

10.I must be thankful to all who have helped me.我必須感謝所有幫助過我的人。

★題例解析

某英文雜志社正面向九年級(jí)畢業(yè)生征文。請(qǐng)從以下要點(diǎn)中選擇一至兩個(gè)方面，并結(jié)合具體事例，用英語寫一篇題為“Thank you,my teacher!”的短文參加此次活動(dòng)。

要點(diǎn)如下：

1.嚴(yán)格要求；

2.耐心指導(dǎo)；

3.熱情鼓勵(lì)；

4.……

注意：

1.詞數(shù)80-100；

2.可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié),以使行文連貫；

3.文中不得出現(xiàn)真實(shí)姓名及學(xué)校名稱。

Thank you,my teacher!

【2018·安徽中考題】

【寫作提示】

一、審題立意

從所給的題目“Thank you,my teacher!”，以及提示的內(nèi)容可以看出，這是一篇關(guān)于學(xué)生感恩老師的記敘文。

文章中除了要寫出三個(gè)所給的要點(diǎn)外，還需作者自己補(bǔ)充一個(gè)要點(diǎn)。

二、要點(diǎn)補(bǔ)充

提示中的第四點(diǎn)沒有給出內(nèi)容，需要自己補(bǔ)充。由于前三點(diǎn)說的都與學(xué)習(xí)相關(guān)，因此補(bǔ)充“老師在生活上關(guān)心我”，這樣會(huì)恰如其分。

三、謀篇布局

該短文可以分為三段：第一段開門見山點(diǎn)明要感謝的人是Miss Li，并簡(jiǎn)述為什么要感謝她。第二段寫具體事例，闡述Miss Li是如何幫助自己、關(guān)心自己。第三段可用表示感謝的語句作為全文的結(jié)束語。

四、語句表達(dá)

首段可用“I'd like to say thanks to...”作為主題句點(diǎn)明本文的話題。在這段中，我們還可把“help me,care for me,study English,in your class”等短語串聯(lián)成句，簡(jiǎn)要交代當(dāng)時(shí)老師所教的科目，以及關(guān)心、幫助自己等情況，以此引出下文的舉例。

第二段可從學(xué)習(xí)和生活兩個(gè)方面列舉具體事例。在這段中，“be strict with,be patient with,encourage sb.to do sth.,take care of”是必須用到的短語，因此所給的要點(diǎn)和補(bǔ)充的要點(diǎn)中都必須用到這些短語。

本文結(jié)尾時(shí)，我們可用“Thank you,my dear teacher!”表達(dá)，與文章的標(biāo)題相呼應(yīng)。

寫作時(shí)，要使用一些高級(jí)詞匯和重點(diǎn)句型，讓閱卷老師“點(diǎn)贊”。例如：

1.寫“老師在學(xué)習(xí)上幫助我，生活上關(guān)心我”時(shí)，我們可用“not only...but also...”串聯(lián)這個(gè)句子。

2.寫“老師耐心幫助我”時(shí)，可用“You were patient to make me understand every single question.”表達(dá)，其中的make sb.do sth.就屬于亮點(diǎn)結(jié)構(gòu)。

3.寫“師恩永不忘”等內(nèi)容時(shí)，我們可用“The love...is always with me./I'll be thankful to...and remember...forever.”進(jìn)行表述，其中的“forever、be always with sb.、be thankful to sb.”等都屬于亮點(diǎn)詞匯和短語。

五、時(shí)態(tài)運(yùn)用

本篇文章的體裁為記敘文，因此在運(yùn)用時(shí)態(tài)時(shí)應(yīng)該這樣：凡涉及舉例的內(nèi)容都應(yīng)該使用與過去相關(guān)的時(shí)態(tài)，表達(dá)“牢記師恩”等內(nèi)容的句子時(shí)用一般將來時(shí)態(tài)。

【參考范文】

Thank you,my teacher!

I'd like to say thanks to you,Miss Li.You helped me and cared for me a lot when I was studying English in your class.

You were very strict with me in my English study.Once I failed in the English test,and you were patient to make me understand every single question.With your help,I overcame many difficulties and made much progress in English.At that time,you not only helped me with my English,but also took good care of me.I still remember that I had a bad cold one rainy afternoon.On the way to and from the hospital,you gave the umbrella to me,but you were wet all over when we came back!

The love from you will always be with me.I'll be thankful to you and remember you forever.

Thank you,my dear teacher!

★嘗試練筆

英語課上，老師要求你們介紹自己的母親。假定你是Jim Green，你準(zhǔn)備這樣介紹：

你小時(shí)候每當(dāng)遇到困難時(shí)，總是找母親幫助解決，但她總是說“Do it yourself,dear.”。后來，你……

請(qǐng)根據(jù)以上提示，發(fā)揮自己的想象力，用英語寫一篇演講稿，標(biāo)題是“What a great mother! ”。

要求：

1.不要逐字翻譯提示內(nèi)容，可適當(dāng)發(fā)揮；

2.詞數(shù)80-100（開頭和結(jié)尾已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)）。

What a great mother!

Hello,everyone!My name is Jim Green.My topic is What a great mother._________________________

That's all.Thank you.