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儲(chǔ)物癥候群

2013-05-21 08:22:36
瘋狂英語·閱讀版 2013年4期
關(guān)鍵詞:考試卷舊居儲(chǔ)物

by Simon Edward Smith

Dont you just hate it when you go to a friends house and not only is there no where to sit but also nowhere to stand. Your friend is constantly saying, “mind that,” “sorry about that,” “just be careful of those” or “just step over that pile”.

Their house is full of clutter and stuff that even though they dont use they could never bring themselves to get rid of. Hoarders, storers, keepers, whatever youre called, its time you changed your ways. Whatever junk, trinkets, keepsakes or sentimental items you have, the time has come to have a good clear out and start again.

To be honest, writing about letting go of things is incredibly easy for me. I love throwing stuff away and only keeping what I need. Everything in my house has a very small sell-by-date and each month I am always looking around my flat for anything that I dont really want.

If you think Im overreacting about all this and believe the 4,000 newspapers you have is just a sign of being a good collector, then think again. But youre not alone if you do have a habit to hoard. More and more indecisive Americans are actually buying space to store the stuff they dont know what to do with (Good Stuff).

Some people, however, prefer to cram their own home full rather than rent a space to cram their junk in to (Obsessive Compulsive Hoarder Richard Wallace). They do this because they have such a strong attachment to their items that throwing it away would be, for them, like throwing away a piece of their life (Its Time to Say Goodbye to All That Stuff).

Its one thing to be “controlled” by your new iPhone, television, computer or whatever, but to be controlled by piles of junk and clutter…well thats just rubbish!

如果你去到一位朋友家里,別說坐下來,就連站著也沒位置,你會(huì)不會(huì)心生怨恨?你的朋友會(huì)不停地說:“小心啊”“不好意思”“當(dāng)心那些東西”或者“只管站在那堆東西上面吧”。

他們的家堆滿了雜物,就算他們不再用了也不見得會(huì)清理掉。儲(chǔ)物癖、囤物癖、藏物癖,無論你們的“雅號(hào)”是什么,都是時(shí)候要改變自己的做法了。無論你囤著的是什么,垃圾、小玩意、紀(jì)念品或者懷舊品,都是時(shí)候要好好清理一下,重新開始了。

坦白說,對(duì)我來說,寫有關(guān)舍棄物品的文章實(shí)在易如反掌。我愛扔?xùn)|西,只留下必需品。我家里任何東西很快便“到期即棄”,每個(gè)月我都不斷地在公寓里翻弄著,看有什么是我不要的。

要是你覺得我對(duì)此反應(yīng)過度,并且認(rèn)為你留著四千份報(bào)紙只是表明自己是個(gè)不錯(cuò)的收藏愛好者,那可得三思。不過,如果你確實(shí)有儲(chǔ)物的習(xí)慣,你也不是“獨(dú)行俠”。事實(shí)上,越來越多優(yōu)柔寡斷的美國(guó)人正在買空間來儲(chǔ)存他們那些不知道如何處理的物品(詳見《家有上品》一文)。

然而,有些人卻喜歡把自己家塞得滿滿的,而不是租個(gè)地方來存放他們的垃圾(詳見《終極“儲(chǔ)物狂”理查德·華萊士》)。他們這么做是因?yàn)樗麄儗?duì)自己的物品有著強(qiáng)烈的依附感,把東西扔掉對(duì)他們來說就像將他們的生命中的一部分丟棄一樣(詳見《再見,我的“儲(chǔ)物癖”》一文)。

被你的新蘋果手機(jī)、電視、電腦什么的“控制”是一回事,但如果是被一堆堆的廢品、雜物控制……噢,那可是垃圾?。?/p>

“懷舊”,有時(shí)候,是一種病。

我是一個(gè)不喜歡扔?xùn)|西的人,一是出于骨子里的拖延癥,總覺得可以以后再說;二是自詡自己是個(gè)“念舊”的人,把那些曾在自己生命中創(chuàng)造過回憶的東西清理掉,實(shí)在太無情。

很久前有一次,母親清理舊居,問我是否要清掉舊物。中小學(xué)教科書?——留著。作業(yè)本和考試卷?——留著吧。小板凳兒和舊娃娃?——也要留?!Y(jié)果,我的東西基本一件沒丟,只是我和母親心里都充滿疑惑:這些東西,我真的還會(huì)翻出來搗騰嗎?最終,在前兩年的舊居裝修中,母親實(shí)在找不到轉(zhuǎn)移這些東西的地方,同時(shí)也忍受不了上面的灰塵污垢和不斷繁衍的小動(dòng)物,二話沒說,來了個(gè)片甲不留。而我,在這兩次的清理行動(dòng)中,連舊居都沒有踏進(jìn)過。

面對(duì)不斷堆積的雜物,如何取舍是一門藝術(shù),而我注定不是杰出的藝術(shù)家。我當(dāng)然也沒有萬畝良宅來安放各種物品,于是擁擠的蝸居總是上映翻箱倒柜、物物轉(zhuǎn)移的戲碼。家里舉步維艱的盛況在年末大掃除會(huì)達(dá)到頂峰,簡(jiǎn)直能把我活生生地憋出焦慮癥來。誰也不想在新年朋友造訪的時(shí)候,覺得家里像個(gè)垃圾房吧?但是,到底要扔哪一樣呢?ABCD,甲乙丙丁……神啊,幫幫我吧!

有報(bào)道說,如果你是個(gè)愛囤積的人,年齡越大,積習(xí)越深,成癮成癖。我又不禁焦慮起來。腦子里閃過一位朋友在花大力氣清理掉老父積壓多年幾乎引發(fā)鼠患的舊物后的感慨:“老爺子的東西,可不能留給下一代折騰啊?!蔽颐┤D開。是啊,為了豁免孩兒這一項(xiàng)可怕的任務(wù),我可堅(jiān)決不能成為一個(gè)“儲(chǔ)物癖”。改掉陋習(xí),從我做起,就從,就從——清理我凌亂不堪的辦公桌做起吧!

——Weiji

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