譙麗

【問(wèn)題導(dǎo)讀】

一篇好的文章不僅需要豐富的內(nèi)容、巧妙的構(gòu)思和規(guī)范的表達(dá)，還需要內(nèi)容之間具有連貫性。連貫指的是使用詞匯手段、語(yǔ)義手段、語(yǔ)法手段、邏輯手段來(lái)連接句內(nèi)、句間、段內(nèi)、段間、文本內(nèi)、文本間的意義，從而使語(yǔ)篇所表達(dá)的各種概念和關(guān)系彼此關(guān)聯(lián)，讓讀者能對(duì)語(yǔ)篇的深層意義進(jìn)行合理的推理。語(yǔ)篇的連貫可以讓讀者感到文章是一個(gè)整體而不是一串不相關(guān)的語(yǔ)句，是使文章結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊的重要手段之一。

【名師導(dǎo)學(xué)】

高考的讀后續(xù)寫要求考生所續(xù)寫的短文與原文的融洽度高，與所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)銜接合理，并且要求考生能夠有效地使用語(yǔ)句間的銜接手段，使所續(xù)寫的短文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊、內(nèi)容連貫。讀后續(xù)寫語(yǔ)篇的連貫性主要表現(xiàn)在語(yǔ)篇中句與句、段與段之間的銜接以及語(yǔ)篇意義方面的一致。我們?cè)诶m(xù)寫時(shí)應(yīng)該主要從以下五個(gè)方面考慮：

1. 與原文主旨的連貫

文章的主旨是作者的寫作目的，是全篇文章的統(tǒng)帥。主旨一旦確定，我們就要按主旨安排好文章的詳略。續(xù)寫要求我們續(xù)寫的部分要與材料做到協(xié)同，那么主旨就要前后一致、連貫。

2. 與原文隱含信息的連貫

故事類文本中，有的信息看似沒(méi)有著筆寫，卻藏于字里行間，比如人物的性格、人物的身份、社會(huì)背景等。在續(xù)寫過(guò)程中，我們要保持這些隱含信息的連貫。

3. 與所給段首句的銜接連貫

與所給段首句的銜接連貫需要注意提取段首句中包含的時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)、人物的動(dòng)作等信息并分析其隱含信息。

4. 第一段與第二段的銜接連貫

第一段與第二段的銜接連貫，即要注意第一段續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容與第二段續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容的自然承接，尤其要注意第一段段末與第二段段首句的銜接。在構(gòu)思時(shí)，我們要特別注意第一段與第二段中時(shí)間的變化、地點(diǎn)的變化、人物心理的變化、事情發(fā)展階段的推進(jìn)等。

5. 續(xù)寫內(nèi)容間的連貫

續(xù)寫內(nèi)容間的連貫需要我們注意續(xù)寫時(shí)上一句與下一句之間的連貫。我們可以通過(guò)一些連接詞來(lái)實(shí)現(xiàn)句子之間的邏輯連貫，也可以通過(guò)保持句與句之間內(nèi)容的一致來(lái)保持連貫。

【案例導(dǎo)引】

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

Twenty years ago， I drove a taxi. Once， I was called at 3 am to pick someone up. WhenI arrived， the building was completely dark except for one light in a window. Often， manydrivers would just honk （按喇叭） once or twice， wait a short minute， and then drive away.

But unless a real danger， I always went to the door to find the passenger. It might besomeone who needed my assistance. Would I not want a driver to do the same if my motheror father had called for a taxi？

So I walked to the door and knocked.“Just a minute，”answered a weak and elderlyvoice. I could hear the sound of something being dragged across the floor. After a longpause， the door opened. A small woman in her 80s stood before me. By her side was a smallsuitcase.“Would you carry my bag out to the car？”she said.“I'd like a few moments alone.Then， if you could come back and help me？ Im not very strong.”

I took the suitcase to the cab， and then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm，and we walked slowly toward the cab. She kept thanking me for my kindness.“It's nothing，”I told her.“I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.”

“Oh， youre such a good boy，”she said. When we got in the taxi， she gave me an address.Then she asked，“Could you drive through the downtown？”

“It's not the shortest way，”I answered.“I don't mind，”she said.“Im in no hurry. Imon my way to the nursing home.”I saw her eyes shining with tears.“I don't have any familyleft，”she continued.“The doctor says I am too old to live alone.”

I quietly turned off the meter （計(jì)程表）.“What road do you want me to take？”I asked.“First， take me to Sunrise Street. Thats where I was born，”she said.

Paragraph 1：

For hours， we drove through the city.

Paragraph 2：

“How much do I owe you？”she asked， reaching for her purse.

一、故事梳理

“我”是一名熱心的出租車司機(jī)。一天凌晨，“我”搭載一名體弱獨(dú)居的老人到養(yǎng)老院安享晚年。在旅程中，“我”應(yīng)老人要求，花了幾個(gè)小時(shí)，耐心地將老人搭載到城市中對(duì)她具有特別意義的地點(diǎn)，重游故地，緬懷舊事，幫助老人解開(kāi)其心中的牽掛，并獲得自我感悟。

二、關(guān)注文章的連貫性

1. 與原文主旨的連貫

根據(jù)文章第二段中的“Would I not want a driver to do the same if my mother or fatherhad called for a taxi？”、第四段中的“She kept thanking me for my kindness.”和“I justtry to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.”這些揭示文章主題的句子可知，文章的主題應(yīng)該是“我”通過(guò)幫助老人這個(gè)小小的善舉感受到了人生的幸福時(shí)刻，提升了自我幸福感，從而意識(shí)到了助人、敬老的意義。在學(xué)生的續(xù)寫中，有同學(xué)的主題寫成了“我”向老人訴說(shuō)生活的痛苦；或者“我”平時(shí)沒(méi)空欣賞城市，趁此機(jī)會(huì)彌補(bǔ)；或者是回憶“我”的童年和感受，這些都偏離了文章的中心。

2. 與原文隱含信息的連貫

挖掘文章中人物的性格特點(diǎn)可以合理地推測(cè)人物后面的行為，使上下文邏輯連貫。文章第一段和第二段內(nèi)容提到了其他出租車司機(jī)的常規(guī)做法和“我”不同于他們的做法：“Often， many drivers would just honk once or twice， wait a short minute， and thendrive away.”“But unless a real danger， I always went to the door to find the passenger.”，這樣的對(duì)比描寫就暗示了后面“我”有可能不收費(fèi)用的超越常規(guī)、充滿人情味的做法。通過(guò)文章第三至第七段“我”幫助老人搬行李、扶她下樓、關(guān)掉計(jì)程表這一系列的描述可以看出“我”身上善良、敬老的優(yōu)良品格，這也預(yù)示著我們后面的續(xù)寫段落應(yīng)該寫“我”耐心地免費(fèi)帶老人重游舊地。

3. 與所給段首句的銜接連貫

根據(jù)續(xù)寫第一段所給的段首句“For hours， we drove through the city.”可知，“我”已經(jīng)開(kāi)車帶著老人重游了城市。那么，我們的第一段續(xù)寫就應(yīng)該是以事后的角度去描述當(dāng)時(shí)去了哪些地方，為什么要去，整個(gè)路程中老人的反應(yīng)以及“我”的做法。讓我們看看下面這個(gè)同學(xué)的續(xù)寫：

For hours， we drove through the city. I opened the GPS to find out where Sunrise Streetwas. But she stopped me and said，“Sorry， I want to admire the view outside the car. Couldyou please follow me？”I nodded. To solve my doubt， I asked the old woman why she wantedto do that. She answered，“I am old. My children are too busy to take care of me， so Ihave to move to the nursing home. I'm afraid I can't remember my past days. Therefore， Idecide to go through the city to memorize it.”I was moved by the woman， so I drove?through the city again.

這個(gè)同學(xué)的續(xù)寫寫的是游覽城市之前，這與第一段所給段首句的時(shí)間不連貫。續(xù)寫內(nèi)容上，對(duì)游覽城市也只是泛泛而談，根據(jù)原文的最后一句“First， take me to SunriseStreet. Thats where I was born.”可知，老人是想要重游故地，緬懷舊事。那么我們?cè)诶m(xù)寫中就應(yīng)該選取幾個(gè)比較有代表性的地點(diǎn)（出生地、學(xué)校、工作的地方、結(jié)婚地等）來(lái)展現(xiàn)出drove through the city，這樣才能在內(nèi)容上保持前后的連貫性。

4. 第一段與第二段的銜接連貫

我們還是以上面這個(gè)同學(xué)的續(xù)寫為例，這個(gè)同學(xué)續(xù)寫第一段的最后一句是“Iwas moved by the woman， so I drove through the city again.”。而續(xù)寫第二段所給段首句是“‘How much do I owe you？’she asked， reaching for her purse.”。從這句話我們可知，“我”已經(jīng)送老人到了養(yǎng)老院，所以我們續(xù)寫第一段的最后一句應(yīng)該是“We arrived atthe nursing home.”。這樣才能使兩段內(nèi)容之間連貫。

5. 續(xù)寫內(nèi)容間的連貫

我們繼續(xù)以上面這段續(xù)寫為例。這個(gè)同學(xué)的語(yǔ)言表達(dá)雖然不是很優(yōu)美，整段內(nèi)容句式結(jié)構(gòu)單一：都是“我”怎么樣，“我”怎么樣，但是在句與句之間的連貫方面，他嘗試用了but、therefore、so 這樣的連接詞來(lái)保持句子間邏輯的連貫；內(nèi)容上也能圍繞在“我”和老人之間展開(kāi)，這也是連貫的一種表現(xiàn)。

根據(jù)以上對(duì)連貫性的分析，我們來(lái)欣賞一下參考范文的連貫性。

【參考范文】

Paragraph 1：

For hours， we drove through the city. The woman asked me to drive her to the placewhere she was born， the school where she studied， the church where she got married andthe workplace where she worked. Every time we arrived at one place， I would stop for someminutes， giving the woman enough time to recall and memorize the place. And then shewould share her stories with me. For hours， I accompanied her to look back on her wholelife. And eventually， we arrived at the gate of the nursing house. As we pulled up， two nurseswere waiting for us. They helped her into a wheelchair.

Paragraph 2：

“How much do I owe you？”she asked， reaching for her purse.“Nothing，”I said. With?out thinking， I leaned down and gave her a hug. She hugged me tightly.“You gave an oldwoman a little moment of joy. Thank you！”she said. I squeezed her hand and then walkedback to my taxi. For the rest of that day， I could hardly talk. I believe I have never doneanything more important in my life. We usually think that our lives are defined by greatmoments. But I now realize that great moments catch us by surprise， because they oftenseem quite small.

【模擬導(dǎo)練】

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

I had been acting in school for a few years. When I got a rough role in a play， I， only ajunior in my high school， was excited that my inspiring drama teacher and director hadtrusted me with the part.

We had little time to prepare and I would never forget reading the lines for the firsttime. At first the dialogue was lively， but then it became quite long and boring. To my surprise，my character had one disrespectful line that complained about his bad luck. I hadnever said something like that on stage before. Uncomfortable as I felt about it， I had neverthought of making myself heard to make a change. I was weak， went silent， and acceptedthe line as it was.

At our first rehearsal （彩排）， I whispered the line and hoped with so many distractionson stage that the director wouldnt notice. Luckily， she didnt. Over three wild weeks of rehearsals，I convinced myself that I could keep faking it. Then， when the curtain finally rosewith an audience， maybe I would feel fine about saying the line just once as loudly as Icould.

On the night of the open dress rehearsal， I was nervous to see an old couple， theEhlers， seated in the hall. They were close friends of our family and I had no idea that theywould be there. When the big moment arrived， with nervousness racing through my body， Iwent for it. I remember the moment quite clearly—Where I stood， how it sounded and how Ifelt.

After the show， the Ehlers met me with cheers， a warm hug， and some brief dialogue oftheir own. While talking with them， I was overwhelmed by mixed feelings of regret andshame.

注意：

1. 所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2. 續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)已為你寫好。

Paragraph 1：

“Jason， there were so many lines for you. You surprised us.”Mrs Ehlers looked at me.

Paragraph 2：

I said goodbye to the couple and waited in the drama room until our director appeared.

【評(píng)價(jià)導(dǎo)思】

1. 你續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容是否注意了與原文的連貫性，包括語(yǔ)篇主旨、文章內(nèi)容和語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格的銜接？

2. 續(xù)寫這篇文章的時(shí)候，應(yīng)該要注意哪些方面的連貫?zāi)?？你注意到了這些方面的連貫嗎？有哪些地方的連貫性你做得不好？

3. 在平時(shí)寫作時(shí)，你應(yīng)該更加注意哪些方面的連貫問(wèn)題呢？