陸萌萌
【經(jīng)典習(xí)作】
一場(chǎng)美麗的相遇是生命的恩賜,是緣分的開始。最美的遇見可以是雨后的彩虹,也可以是陪伴的摯友,抑或是成長(zhǎng)的經(jīng)歷,是生命路上賞不完的風(fēng)景。請(qǐng)以 “遇見” 為話題寫一篇英語(yǔ)作文。
要點(diǎn):1. 你最美的遇見是什么?
2. 你和它的故事是什么?
3. 這場(chǎng)遇見對(duì)你的影響是什么?
要求:1. 短文須包含所有提示內(nèi)容,可適當(dāng)發(fā)揮;
2. 詞數(shù)80個(gè)左右;
3. 文中不得出現(xiàn)真實(shí)的姓名和校名。
Meeting
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【試題解讀】
本文是一篇記敘文,要求我們以“Meeting”為題目,根據(jù)所給的三點(diǎn)提示信息寫一篇英語(yǔ)短文,此文需要向讀者講述自己最非凡的遇見。此內(nèi)容反映的是我們?nèi)粘I钪小叭粘;顒?dòng)”這個(gè)話題。
寫此類話題的作文,首先要注意審題,理解遇見的深刻含義。1. 遇見可以是有形的人,如老師、朋友、陌生人等;也可以是有形的物,如書、文具以及中國(guó)傳統(tǒng)文化中的剪紙、京劇、書法等。 2. 遇見也可以是無(wú)形的,如某一件事、一個(gè)微笑、一句鼓勵(lì)的話語(yǔ)等。審題時(shí)可以采用拓展延伸法,即交代清楚你最美的遇見是什么,你們遇見時(shí)發(fā)生了什么,你和所遇之物之間有怎樣的故事;接著是敘述這場(chǎng)遇見對(duì) “你” 或他人有什么意義和影響。通過這樣的審題,我們就能明確本文要寫“什么內(nèi)容” 了。
其次,精心篩選素材與確定文體也很重要。就本文而言, “遇見”這個(gè)題目最好寫成一篇記敘文。以“總—分—總”的形式構(gòu)思行文結(jié)構(gòu),通過詳細(xì)而生動(dòng)的故事來(lái)充分展現(xiàn)人物之間美好的關(guān)系,以及特別的感受。當(dāng)然,也可以通過描寫手法來(lái)展開此文,通過記敘、描寫某種物品或有影響意義的某事,展現(xiàn)出“相遇”的真實(shí)價(jià)值。
最后,要巧妙設(shè)計(jì)文章的框架結(jié)構(gòu),這樣會(huì)使文章段落分明、層次清晰。
【寫作模板】
根據(jù)寫作內(nèi)容的需要可采用三段法撰寫此類短文。
【習(xí)作展示】
During my school days, I have met many people. However, the teacher I respect most in school is Ms Liu①.
Why do I appreciate her?② One of the reasons is that she is like a friend of mine. Once I failed an examination. She was the only teacher that I could discuss my mistakes with, because she was so gentle and kind. Another reason is that she knows how to build my confidence③. Instead of criticism, she always gives me advice and encouragement. She once helped me get through the school speech competition. I became more confident and optimistic than before.
Without doubt, I want to be a person like her, someone who brings warmth and encouragement to others.④
【亮點(diǎn)分析】
①句用并列連詞however 表示轉(zhuǎn)折,突出重點(diǎn),開啟本文話題。定語(yǔ)從句“I respect most in school”修飾先行詞 “the teacher”,作其定語(yǔ),表述清晰,強(qiáng)調(diào)劉老師給作者留下了難以忘記的印象。
②句運(yùn)用特殊疑問句來(lái)引人注目,開啟段落,進(jìn)入主題。此句句式簡(jiǎn)潔,表達(dá)效果顯著。
③句屬于高級(jí)句式,句子“that she knows how to build my confidence”是表語(yǔ)從句。動(dòng)詞不定式結(jié)構(gòu)“how to build my confidence”的運(yùn)用,顯示出作者比較深的語(yǔ)言功底。
④句中使用了高級(jí)詞語(yǔ)encouragement, without doubt以及高級(jí)句式定語(yǔ)從句“who brings warmth and encouragement to others”,表達(dá)精準(zhǔn)。這些充分顯示了作者具有超強(qiáng)的語(yǔ)言駕馭能力,為文章增添了亮麗的色彩。
【習(xí)作點(diǎn)評(píng)】
本文條理清晰、語(yǔ)言地道、內(nèi)容中肯。在寫作中,作者巧妙地運(yùn)用了比較級(jí)句型、表語(yǔ)從句、定語(yǔ)從句、賓語(yǔ)從句等高級(jí)句式,這些都足以顯示作者具有扎實(shí)的英語(yǔ)基礎(chǔ)知識(shí)和靈活運(yùn)用語(yǔ)言的能力。
【佳作展示】
Meeting
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One possible version:
I met my best friend on the first day when we came to our school.
I didnt know anyone in my class, so I sat on my seat in the classroom quietly. Just then, a boy came to me and sat beside me. He started the conversation between us with a “Hi”and a big smile. His warm voice and smile made me relaxed at once. At that moment, our friendship started. We were close and helped each other. We shared our stories and happiness.
Meeting him was great!
(作者單位:江蘇省鹽城市鹿鳴路初級(jí)中學(xué))