廣東 鄭林茂

一、知識(shí)鏈接

面對(duì)高考新題型“讀后續(xù)寫”，很多考生可能感覺到無(wú)從下手，有時(shí)候會(huì)構(gòu)思出一些不合邏輯的情節(jié)。 那么，考生如何才能在考場(chǎng)中快速地對(duì)文本進(jìn)行分析解讀并構(gòu)思出合理的情節(jié)呢？ 在考場(chǎng)有限的時(shí)間里，考生可以嘗試?yán)谩癝EPT+3C”原則快速地解讀文本，找到關(guān)鍵信息并構(gòu)思出合理的情節(jié)。什么是“SEPT+3C”原則呢？簡(jiǎn)單來說，就是涵蓋背景、情感、情節(jié)、主題、沖突等故事的基本要素及重要線索的英文單詞的首字母。

Setting: 故事背景，主要包含時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)、主要人物。

Emotion: 主要人物的情感及情感變化。

Plot: 整個(gè)故事的情節(jié)發(fā)展，包括開始、發(fā)展、高潮和結(jié)尾。

Theme: 整個(gè)故事的主題。

Conflict: 整個(gè)故事的主要沖突，有可能是人與人的沖突，也可能是人與社會(huì)的沖突，也有可能是人與自身的沖突。

Clue: 整個(gè)故事閱讀部分所包含的一些重要線索。

Characteristics of language: 整個(gè)故事閱讀部分的語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格特點(diǎn)。

為了方便記憶，將以上幾個(gè)方面的英文單詞的首字母組合起來，則形成了“SEPT+3C”。

那么，為什么讀后續(xù)寫的情節(jié)構(gòu)思這么重要呢？ 不是說讀后續(xù)寫是開放式作文嗎？讀后續(xù)寫的確是開放式作文，但考生很容易犯的錯(cuò)誤就是構(gòu)思出情節(jié)不合理的文章，這樣的文章在高考閱卷中的得分是很低的。 接下來，我們看一下高考閱卷中對(duì)讀后續(xù)寫的相關(guān)評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，這樣我們就能夠明白為什么情節(jié)構(gòu)思這么重要了。

二、評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)

根據(jù)最新的高考閱卷中對(duì)新題型“讀后續(xù)寫”的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，我們可以得知，閱卷者主要從三個(gè)維度進(jìn)行評(píng)分，分別是內(nèi)容、銜接和語(yǔ)言。 這三個(gè)維度所關(guān)注的內(nèi)容及其在整個(gè)評(píng)分中所占的比重大致可以用下表展示：

?維度考量重點(diǎn)占比內(nèi)容邏輯性、完整性以及與原文情境的融洽度60%銜接句間的連貫性以及上下文的連貫性20%語(yǔ)言用詞與句法的準(zhǔn)確性、恰當(dāng)性與多樣性20%

從上表可以看出，內(nèi)容占比高達(dá)60%，也就是內(nèi)容是否完整、情節(jié)是否合理占了大部分的給分比重。一篇內(nèi)容完整、情節(jié)合理但是語(yǔ)言有不少錯(cuò)誤的讀后續(xù)寫應(yīng)該給多少分呢？專家組給出的建議是20分，因?yàn)閷＜医M給出的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)是內(nèi)容優(yōu)先，語(yǔ)言表達(dá)次之。 如果不是句子結(jié)構(gòu)和謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞的語(yǔ)言表達(dá)錯(cuò)誤，讀后續(xù)寫可以達(dá)到20分，也就是接近優(yōu)秀的水平。 從這一點(diǎn)我們可以看到，構(gòu)建符合邏輯、情節(jié)合理的讀后續(xù)寫內(nèi)容才是我們要關(guān)注的重點(diǎn)。 “SEPT+3C”原則就是為了幫助考生在短時(shí)間內(nèi)快速挖掘出文章中的有用線索，并構(gòu)思出合理的情節(jié)。

三、邊學(xué)邊悟

下面我們以“2020年新高考全國(guó)Ⅰ卷讀后續(xù)寫”作為范例，介紹如何在實(shí)際考場(chǎng)中使用“SEPT+3C”原則。

The Meredith family lived in a small community. As the economy was in decline，some people in the town had lost their jobs. Many of their families were struggling to make ends meet. People were trying to help each other meet the challenges.

Mrs. Meredith was a most kind and thoughtful woman. She spent a great deal of time visiting the poor. She knew they had problems， and they needed all kinds of help.When she had time， she would bring food and medicine to them.

One morning she told her children about a family she had visited the day before.There was a man sick in bed， his wife， who took care of him and could not go out to work， and their little boy. The little boy—his name was Bernard—had interested her very much.

“I wish you could see him，” she said to her own children， John， Harry， and Clara.“He is such a help to his mother. He wants very much to earn some money， but I don't see what he can do.”

After their mother left the room， the children sat thinking about Bernard. “I wish we could help him to earn money，” said Clara. “His family is suffering so much.”

“So do I，” said Harry. “We really should do something to assist them.”

For some moments， John said nothing， but， suddenly， he sprang to his feet and cried， “I have a great idea! I have a solution that we can all help accomplish （完成）.”

The other children also jumped up all attention. When John had an idea， it was sure to be a good one. “I tell you what we can do，” said John. “You know that big box of corn Uncle John sent us? Well， we can make popcorn （爆米花）， and put it into paper bags，and Bernard can take it around to the houses and sell it.”

注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

When Mrs. Meredith heard of John's idea， she thought it was a good one， too.

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With everything ready， Bernard started out on his new business.

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根據(jù)統(tǒng)計(jì)，很多考生的續(xù)寫在情節(jié)構(gòu)思方面存在不合理的情況，主要有：

（1）購(gòu)買一個(gè)嶄新的爆米花機(jī)來做爆米花。

（2）先去市場(chǎng)上買來玉米。

（3）扛著爆米花機(jī)和玉米去Bernard家做爆米花。

（4）除了做爆米花，沒有任何其他的準(zhǔn)備工作。

（5）在街上叫賣或者在街邊支一個(gè)攤位賣爆米花。

（6）Meredith的三個(gè)孩子和Bernard一起去賣爆米花。

（7）Bernard沒有參與做爆米花的過程，而是直接出現(xiàn)并拿著爆米花去賣。

如果在考試過程中采用“SEPT+3C”原則分析這些問題，那么我們很有可能可以避免這些不合理的情節(jié)。 分析如下：

?Setting——故事背景

故事背景應(yīng)該包含時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)以及主要人物。 不要小看對(duì)故事背景的梳理，因?yàn)橛行┕适旅髅靼l(fā)生在早上，有些考生寫著寫著就寫到了下午的場(chǎng)景。 對(duì)上文而言：

Time: As the economy was in decline/one morning

Place: In a small community

Main Characters: Mrs. Meredith， Mrs. Meredith's children (John/Harry/Clara) and Bernard

通過對(duì)本篇故事背景的分析我們可知，由于經(jīng)濟(jì)衰退，大家的日子都不太好過，這時(shí)候如果再去買一個(gè)嶄新的爆米花機(jī)來做爆米花就顯得不合常理。那么比較好的構(gòu)思就是家里有現(xiàn)成的機(jī)器或者找出了一臺(tái)老舊的爆米花機(jī)，而不是再去買一個(gè)新的。

?Emotion——主要人物的情感變化

Mrs. Meredith: sympathetic→satisfied

Mrs. Meredith's children: sympathetic→excited→happy/satisfied（因?yàn)閹椭硕械礁吲d或滿足）

Bernard: surprised→moved→grateful

對(duì)情感進(jìn)行梳理后，我們就知道在續(xù)寫的部分可以對(duì)孩子們以及Bernard的情感進(jìn)行適當(dāng)?shù)拿鑼懀@也是續(xù)寫部分常用的技能：對(duì)情感進(jìn)行合理的描寫。

?Plot——主要情節(jié)梳理

由于經(jīng)濟(jì)衰退，很多人失去了工作，生活比較困難。善良的Meredith太太主動(dòng)看望生活困難的人。 有一天早上，Meredith太太告訴了她的三個(gè)孩子關(guān)于Bernard一家的情況，這引起了孩子們的同情。 孩子們隨后商量并找到了幫助Bernard的辦法，那就是做爆米花去賣。

?Theme——文章主題

雖然經(jīng)濟(jì)衰退，但是鄰里互相幫助共渡難關(guān)，文章表達(dá)了人間自有真情在的主旋律。

有些時(shí)候文章的主題不是很明確，這個(gè)時(shí)候我們可以借助“3C”來進(jìn)一步確定主題。 本篇文章的主題雖然很容易確定，但是我們還是要梳理一下“3C”，這對(duì)我們的情節(jié)構(gòu)思以及語(yǔ)言選擇都有非常重要的作用。 具體來說，“3C”包含以下三個(gè)內(nèi)容：

1. Conflict——沖突。 故事沖突的解決能夠推動(dòng)故事的情節(jié)向前發(fā)展。 其實(shí)基本上所有的故事都存在一個(gè)主要的沖突，只不過有些故事在原文內(nèi)容中已經(jīng)把沖突解決了，有些則需要考生在續(xù)寫部分通過合理構(gòu)思來解決這個(gè)主要沖突。 因此，有必要對(duì)沖突進(jìn)行分析并判斷這個(gè)主要沖突是否已經(jīng)解決。

2020年新高考全國(guó)Ⅰ卷這篇讀后續(xù)寫的沖突不是很明顯， 整篇文章的沖突就是Bernard一家遇到困難與Bernard如何解決困難。 最終故事的發(fā)展應(yīng)該是也必然是Bernard在Meredith一家的幫助下走出了困境。

2. Clue——線索。所有的讀后續(xù)寫文本都隱含著一條或多條重要的線索，考生要有意識(shí)地去發(fā)現(xiàn)這些重要線索并畫出來，這對(duì)文章情節(jié)的合理構(gòu)思尤為重要。一般而言，文章的重要線索主要在兩個(gè)部分：一是在原文部分會(huì)有一到兩條重要線索，二是續(xù)寫部分給出的兩個(gè)段首句。 以上文為例，重要線索主要有以下幾條：

（1）You know that big box of corn Uncle John sent us? Well， we can make popcorn，and put it into paper bags， and Bernard can take it around to the houses and sell it.

（2）With everything ready， Bernard started out on his new business.

通過第一條線索我們可以判斷：①家里有玉米，不用再去買；②是Meredith太太的三個(gè)孩子來做爆米花，可以讓Bernard過來一起幫忙，沒必要扛著機(jī)器和玉米去Bernard家做爆米花；③是Bernard獨(dú)自拿著爆米花去賣；④Bernard不是拿著爆米花去街上或者支個(gè)攤位賣，而是挨家挨戶敲門去賣。

通過第二條線索我們也可以判斷： ①M(fèi)eredith太太一家應(yīng)該做了很多準(zhǔn)備工作，才會(huì)有with everything ready； ②Bernard在開始賣爆米花前應(yīng)該有參與到這個(gè)制作過程中，也就是說在續(xù)寫第一段中，Bernard要出場(chǎng)，而不是等到續(xù)寫第二段。

3. Characteristics of language——語(yǔ)言特征。 很多考生在寫作過程中一味地追求高級(jí)句型和華麗的詞匯，殊不知這些表達(dá)與原文根本不匹配。會(huì)犯這種錯(cuò)誤往往是因?yàn)榭忌鷽]有對(duì)原文的語(yǔ)言特征進(jìn)行一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的分析。

2020年新高考全國(guó)Ⅰ卷這篇讀后續(xù)寫，語(yǔ)言簡(jiǎn)單、生動(dòng)、地道，沒有長(zhǎng)難句，主要以簡(jiǎn)單句為主，有簡(jiǎn)單的虛擬語(yǔ)氣及少量簡(jiǎn)單的定語(yǔ)從句和狀語(yǔ)從句，同時(shí)，有比較生動(dòng)的動(dòng)作描寫。 例如：

Many of their families were struggling to make ends meet.

I wish you could see him.

For some moments， John said nothing， but， suddenly， he sprang to his feet and cried， “I have a great idea! I have a solution that we can all help accomplish.”

所以，我們?cè)诶m(xù)寫過程中也應(yīng)該以簡(jiǎn)單、生動(dòng)的表達(dá)為主，減少長(zhǎng)難句，同時(shí)可以增加一些較為生動(dòng)的動(dòng)作描寫。

完成了上面的Conflict、Clue、Characteristics of language，即“3C”的分析之后，接下來就是進(jìn)行續(xù)寫部分的構(gòu)思了。

四、場(chǎng)景構(gòu)思

在利用“SEPT+3C”原則完成了對(duì)文本的解讀分析后，我們就完成了讀后續(xù)寫最重要的一步。 接下來我們就要在草稿紙上對(duì)場(chǎng)景進(jìn)行構(gòu)思。 構(gòu)思原則：續(xù)寫的每一段構(gòu)思3個(gè)小場(chǎng)景（scene/event），每個(gè)場(chǎng)景1～3句話，長(zhǎng)短句結(jié)合，語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格與上文要保持協(xié)同（一致性）。

When Mrs. Meredith heard of John's idea， she thought it was a good one， too.

場(chǎng)景1：孩子們立馬行動(dòng)，準(zhǔn)備做爆米花，同時(shí)Meredith太太去叫Bernard。

場(chǎng)景2：Bernard聽到后很感動(dòng)，主動(dòng)加入做爆米花的行動(dòng)中。

場(chǎng)景3：爆米花做好后，孩子們把爆米花分裝成小袋，準(zhǔn)備售賣。

With everything ready， Bernard started out on his new business.

場(chǎng)景1：Bernard挨家挨戶敲門，詢問他們是否想要一些爆米花。

場(chǎng)景2：生意進(jìn)展得很順利，爆米花很快被賣完，Bernard回到Meredith家感謝他們。

場(chǎng)景3：黃昏時(shí)分，Bernard回到家，心中充滿了愛與感激，決定也要做一個(gè)樂于助人的人。

在構(gòu)思完每一段的三個(gè)不同的連續(xù)的場(chǎng)景后，就可以進(jìn)行寫作了。 每個(gè)場(chǎng)景寫2～3句話，適當(dāng)穿插環(huán)境描寫或情感描寫，注意句間的連貫性以及全文的連貫性，這樣一篇讀后續(xù)寫就完成了。

根據(jù)以上構(gòu)思，參考范文如下：

When Mrs. Meredith heard of John's idea， she thought it was a good one， too. Without hesitation， the Meredith family started to act. John， Harry and Clara darted to the kitchen while Mrs. Meredith was sent for Bernard. Hearing the plan， Bernard was moved to tears and offered to help. Luckily for them， the old-fashioned popcorn machine could still work. So， they poured the corn into the machine， turned on the switch and anxiously waited for the “beep” sound that would indicate the popcorn was ready. Finally， when the popcorn rolled out of the machine， it looked so inviting that everyone wanted to have a try. “It's the best popcorn I have ever tasted，” said Bernard. Then they quickly divided the popcorn into small paper bags， ready for sale.

With everything ready， Bernard started out on his new business. He knocked at each door in the neighbourhood， asking if they would like some popcorn. The business went unexpectedly well. All the popcorn was sold out in several hours. Never had Bernard earned so much money before. When he returned to Mrs. Meredith's house， he could hardly speak but thank all the time. At dusk， Bernard walked back home， bathing himself in the glory of the setting sun. He knew in his heart that “one good turn deserves another” and was determined to be a contributing man just like Mrs. Meredith and her kids.

以上就是我們所介紹的“SEPT+3C”原則，考生在完成了對(duì)Setting、Emotion、Plot、Theme以及Conflict、Clue、Characteristics of language的分析之后，對(duì)后面情節(jié)的構(gòu)思就會(huì)合理很多，能夠避免掉入續(xù)寫不合邏輯的大坑里面，做得比較好的考生甚至?xí)m(xù)寫出與參考范文一模一樣的內(nèi)容情節(jié)。

在實(shí)際的考試過程中，考生只要在試卷上將相關(guān)信息畫出，進(jìn)行一些簡(jiǎn)單的概括總結(jié)，完成以上思維過程，就能夠快速地完成對(duì)文章的梳理與挖掘。 接下來的一步就是進(jìn)行續(xù)寫每一段的三個(gè)場(chǎng)景的構(gòu)思，隨后進(jìn)行寫作?！癝EPT+3C”原則兼顧了對(duì)文章的主題、人物的情感、故事的沖突、重要線索的梳理、語(yǔ)言的特征等多方面的分析，將文章的分析模塊化、步驟化。 相比傳統(tǒng)的方法，老師針對(duì)文本提出一堆問題來引導(dǎo)學(xué)生進(jìn)行思考，這操作更簡(jiǎn)便，實(shí)用性更強(qiáng)，對(duì)考生的考場(chǎng)作文非常有幫助。

五、實(shí)戰(zhàn)練兵

學(xué)習(xí)了上面所介紹的“SEPT+3C”原則后，接下來我們利用這個(gè)原則來進(jìn)行讀后續(xù)寫的實(shí)戰(zhàn)練習(xí)吧，這樣才能真正掌握此原則的精髓。

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。 續(xù)寫的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Jenny was the only child in her home. She had a quarrel with her mother that afternoon and she ran out of the house angrily. She couldn't help crying sadly when she thought of the angry words from her mother. After she walked aimlessly in the street for hours， she felt hungry but had no money. She stood in front of a shop which sold noodles for several minutes， but she had to leave. The seller of the noodle shop came out and noticed the young girl.

“Hey， girl， you want to have noodles?”

“Oh， yes， but I have no money on me，” she replied.

“Oh， that's nothing. I'll treat you today，” the seller said. “Come in.”

The seller brought her a bowl of noodles， whose smell was so attractive. As she was eating， Jenny cried silently.

“What is it?” asked the man kindly.

“Nothing. Actually I was just touched by your kindness！ ” said Jenny as she wiped her tears. “Even a stranger on the street will give me a bowl of noodles， while my mother drove me out of the house. She showed no care for me. She is so merciless compared to a stranger!”

Hearing the words， the seller smiled， “Girl， do you really think so? I only gave you a bowl of noodles and you thanked me a lot. But it is your mother who has raised you since you were a baby. Can you number the times she cooked for you? Have you expressed your thanks to her?”

Jenny sat there， speechless and numb with shock; she remembered mother's familiar face and weathered hands. “Why did I not think of that? A bowl of noodles from a stranger made me feel indebted (感激的)， but I have never thanked my mum for what she has done for me.”

On the way home， Jenny made up her mind to say sorry to her mother for her rudeness as soon as she arrived home.

Paragraph 1:Approaching the doorway， Jenny took a deep breath.

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Paragraph 2:

A gentle touch on her hair called her mind back.

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