文/馬可·洛佩茲 譯/史聰一

首先，我要談?wù)勎胰松氖致房冢簳r(shí)間回溯到1999年，當(dāng)時(shí)我第一次來北京從事教學(xué)工作，并首次接觸到中國經(jīng)典文學(xué)，以及包括魯迅、茅盾與老舍在內(nèi)的一些中國作家的作品。隨即，我對中國文學(xué)一見傾心，以至于向當(dāng)時(shí)指導(dǎo)我畢業(yè)論文的導(dǎo)師坦言，自己想在菲律賓成為一名研究中國文學(xué)的學(xué)者。而對于這一令人生畏的目標(biāo)，首先必須要做的便是掌握號稱世界上最難的語言——漢語。我還需要申請一份獎(jiǎng)學(xué)金，使我能先學(xué)習(xí)語言，然后再去研究經(jīng)典著作，并繼而成為彼時(shí)菲律賓國內(nèi)的中國文學(xué)權(quán)威。但是，我已故并深深敬重的教授在當(dāng)時(shí)卻另有想法，她表示：我不如將精力投入到菲律賓文學(xué)的研究之中，而對于研究中國文學(xué)這一艱巨的任務(wù)，應(yīng)該由其他人——特別是那些懂得普通話的菲籍華人來完成。然而，時(shí)至今日，在菲律賓，我還沒看到哪位學(xué)者能夠使用英語或菲律賓語在這一領(lǐng)域進(jìn)行研究。2018年10月24日至27日，我們有幸參加了在華中地區(qū)舉辦的“2018年北京外國語大學(xué)外國專家儒家文化之旅”。在此，我要對我所敬愛的北京外國語大學(xué)的慷慨贊助，以及國際合作與交流處的柯教授、包老師與王老師所作出的不懈努力表示感謝。是這次活動(dòng)，將我?guī)Щ啬莻€(gè)時(shí)代，那個(gè)讓我?guī)缀鯖Q定為中國文學(xué)奉獻(xiàn)一生的時(shí)代，而我現(xiàn)在想知道的是：當(dāng)時(shí)這種可能性有多大，如果我在20年前就按照這一心愿去做，而不是將這一想法扼殺在萌芽狀態(tài)，那結(jié)果會(huì)怎樣？這是一個(gè)人生十字路口抉擇的真實(shí)案例，一條未曾嘗試的道路，一個(gè)險(xiǎn)些被放棄的選擇，最終另一種追求成就了現(xiàn)在的我——用我的母語菲律賓語來進(jìn)行創(chuàng)造性的寫作。

在過去這四天中，那些我在無意識與間接狀態(tài)下所知曉的一切，得到了印證：中國擁有燦爛的文明，而這之中的偉大文化則令人難以置信。無論是位于安陽的中國文字博物館和殷墟中的宮殿與廟宇，抑或是位于嵩山的少林寺，以及洛陽的龍門石窟，無不是中國文化財(cái)富無與倫比的例證。而與中國相比，我們菲律賓的文化則在各個(gè)方面都會(huì)顯得遜色——我以謙卑的語氣來陳述這點(diǎn)，并不是一種自我鞭策，眾所周知，因?yàn)榻?jīng)歷過殖民時(shí)代，所以我們菲律賓人在面對其他文明時(shí)很譴責(zé)文化入侵。例如，本國的口頭文學(xué)被我們引以為傲，尤其是以史詩形式表現(xiàn)的口頭文學(xué)。在菲律賓國內(nèi)，從棉蘭老島的邊遠(yuǎn)地區(qū)到班乃島的偏遠(yuǎn)地帶，我們都能夠不斷尋覓到唱著悠長史詩的老者。這種史詩，一般篇幅冗長，要以歌頌的形式表達(dá)整個(gè)故事，有些特別長的史詩，甚至要幾天才能唱完。一般來說，菲律賓的史詩與部落英雄的事跡息息相關(guān)，他們的美德對于當(dāng)時(shí)的社會(huì)至關(guān)重要。而這些事實(shí)，其本身也展現(xiàn)著奇幻的因素。然而，當(dāng)我讀過《西游記》之后，我被那種超越蒼穹的神奇戰(zhàn)斗場面深深震撼，這一切就如同《西游記》作者本人的思想一般跌宕起伏。正如同喬治·盧卡斯曾執(zhí)導(dǎo)的電影《星球大戰(zhàn)》一樣：對于戰(zhàn)爭本身的描述早于這些星際戰(zhàn)爭。當(dāng)然，當(dāng)我陳述這一切之時(shí)，并非代表著我們的文化在同中國文化相比時(shí)，沒有任何的關(guān)注點(diǎn)：如其他任何國家一樣，我們的文化同樣具有其自身的優(yōu)勢（與不足）。

為了概括我如上所述的一切，我將用近期的旅行來印證中國文化究竟多么偉大。如果我援引與這次儒家文化之旅的兩位主要發(fā)言人——埃姆斯教授和田辰山教授所探討的比喻，那么中國豐富多彩的文化便是其自身的渦輪——這不僅是中國身份特性的源泉，也是其自豪感的源泉。而對于這些，早在我第一次離開北京的旅行前，便已十分清晰了。

于我而言，還想探究的另一點(diǎn)，則是基于埃姆斯教授與田教授在安陽理工學(xué)院關(guān)于儒學(xué)的講座，以及我們在登封于埃姆斯教授套房中與他們兩人進(jìn)行的愉快討論。這是一種頓悟，反映出了我在觀察中國過程中是多么短視或無知。之前，我對中國的看法一貫如此，因?yàn)槲覐姆坡少e國內(nèi)的報(bào)紙中閱讀到這些內(nèi)容，使中國政府在我腦海中留下了僵化與一意孤行的印象。事實(shí)上，如果我按照原計(jì)劃在作一場時(shí)長為5分鐘的演講，那么我或?qū)⒈凰苏{(diào)侃為輾轉(zhuǎn)于中心與邊緣的西方解構(gòu)主義。在我看來，中國信奉絕對主義。但聽到埃姆斯教授與田教授在談及儒家思想的開放性及其他可能性，以及不斷創(chuàng)新的必要性的一貫影響時(shí)，我的這種念頭開始消散。顯而易見的是，人們對儒家思想、儒家哲學(xué)以及儒家人物的興趣似乎重新燃起，就像艾姆斯教授與田教授，以及一些機(jī)構(gòu)與學(xué)校，正在竭盡全力推動(dòng)針對影響個(gè)人，以及機(jī)構(gòu)如何運(yùn)行與管理問題所進(jìn)行的相關(guān)討論，即儒家思想不僅促進(jìn)了個(gè)人，還推動(dòng)了整個(gè)集體。

我多么希望我們的學(xué)校曾教授過儒學(xué)。彼時(shí)，當(dāng)我還在大學(xué)讀書，歷史學(xué)院從未將亞洲文明以科目的形式開設(shè)；而時(shí)至今日，后者也僅僅是一門選修課而已。而我們的哲學(xué)課程也基本上僅涉及歐洲哲學(xué)，并致力于西方思想的探討。我們是亞洲人，但卻還未能沉浸于亞洲的歷史與文明之中，而這些都是因?yàn)槲覀冏陨淼慕逃佑?。但在近期，這一領(lǐng)域的進(jìn)展開始持續(xù)發(fā)酵?？鬃訉W(xué)院在我的大學(xué)已經(jīng)建立，并且，一個(gè)全新的項(xiàng)目也拉開了序幕，這便是中國研究（中國學(xué)），它備受歡迎，尤其是在菲律賓的華人群體中。同時(shí)，中國駐菲律賓大使館也在全菲積極推廣中國文化。鑒于近期發(fā)生的一些事件，以及全球經(jīng)濟(jì)所產(chǎn)生的連鎖反應(yīng)，這將是一個(gè)姍姍來遲但也會(huì)有利于發(fā)展的吉兆。而同是亞洲同胞，我相信菲律賓人將很容易與儒家思想和文化產(chǎn)生共鳴。

當(dāng)然，沒有任何事情是非黑即白或非對即錯(cuò)的。同理，對于中國人民而言，盡管他們的思想有時(shí)也會(huì)令我感到費(fèi)解，但與其他各國人一樣，他們的思想從不會(huì)產(chǎn)生同質(zhì)化現(xiàn)象。而我的直覺告訴我：即使是在中國人民內(nèi)部，也存在諸多百家爭鳴式的事例。

我盡最大的能力來教育我在中國的學(xué)生，不僅是教授我的語言，而且要告訴他們：作為一個(gè)民族，我們是誰，并向他們展示我們也是有自己的夢想與愿望的。

此次在北京外國語大學(xué)，通過講座，以及與同事們進(jìn)行面談和熱切的討論后，再次向我證明：任何事情都不是非黑即白的，并且對于中國而言，盡管它被外界視為一個(gè)銅墻鐵壁般的統(tǒng)一體，但是同樣為自身的矛盾與欲望所充斥，并希望能夠變得更加美好、公正和人性化，這與其他任何國家并無二致。

最后，一位從事菲律賓研究的同事計(jì)劃將一本菲律賓小說翻譯成中文，動(dòng)因顯而易見：在成千上萬的菲律賓小說中，僅有兩部被翻譯成中文。目前，我正在從真正的意義出發(fā)，幫助這位同事擴(kuò)大和加深對中菲兩國間種種事情的理解。畢竟，文學(xué)和創(chuàng)造性寫作或?qū)⑦\(yùn)用蘊(yùn)藏其中的智慧，為我們贏得時(shí)間，并恒久流傳。

（馬可·洛佩茲任教于菲律賓雅典耀大學(xué)菲律賓語系，長期從事菲律賓語教學(xué)工作。2018年秋季學(xué)期在北京外國語大學(xué)亞非學(xué)院擔(dān)任菲律賓語外國專家）

Talk about forking paths: Back in 1999 during myfirst teaching stint here in Beijing, I first encountered the Chinese fictional classics and some writers like Lu Xun, Mao Dun and Lao She. I was so enamored instantly with Chinesefiction that I confessed to my then thesis adviser to that I wanted to be a scholar on Chinese Literature in the Philippines and that in pursuit of such a daunting goal which necessitated that I master the most difficult of languages—Mandarin—I would seek for a scholarship that would allow me to study the languagefirst and then proceed to studying the classics and become the authority on Chinese Literature in the Philippines that I wanted to be at the time. But my late beloved professor in the University of the Philippines had other thoughts in mind: she said that I should rather devote my energies to Philippine Literature and let others—specially the Chinese Filipinos who already knew Mandarin—to do the spade work in this field. Up to the present, however, I know of no scholar writing in English or Filipino in the Philippines who devoted his or her life to thisfield. The tour we just had—the 2018 BFSU Foreign Experts Confucian Cultural Tour in Central China—in the last four days which we had the privilege of attending, thanks to the generosity of our beloved university Beijing Foreign Studies University （BFSU）, through the efforts of the International Exchange and Cooperation Office and the hard work of Professor Ke, Ms. Bao and Ms. Wang, brought me back to that time when I almost decided to devote my life to this area of literary research and I now wonder about the possibilities and what it wonld be if I acted on that desire almost two decades ago and was not nipped in the bud by my adviser. A real case of forking paths, a road not taken, a choice abandoned in lieu of another pursuit which eventually became my field—Creative Writing in Filipino, our native language.

The past four days just proved to me what I already knew unconsciously and vicariously: that China is a civilization,and the grandeur of such a culture is mind-boggling. The National Museum of Chinese Writing in Anyang, the Palace and the Temple Ruins of the Yin, the Shaolin Temple as well as the Louyang Grottoes are a proof of this unparalleled cultural wealth of China. Any aspect of my culture—and I say this with humility and not self-flaggelation we Filipinos are known for confronted with other cultures—blame the epistemic violence we experienced because of our colonial past—will appear puny compared with its counterpart in China. Case in point: we take pride in our oral literature especially the form epic. In the Philippines we continue tofind very long epics recited orally by old people in the far regions of Mindanao and Panay Islands.Some epics in the Philippines are very long that it will take days to chant the whole story. Philippine epics are usually about the exploits of a tribal hero who embodies the virtues considered vital to a community. These epics also exhibit fantastical elements. However, when I read the Chinese narrative The Journey to the West, I was overwhelmed and blown-away by the fantastic battle scenes that extended even beyond the firmament. It was like the imagination of the writer went on a rampage. The description of battles antedated the intergalactic warfare in George Lucas’s movies. Nevertheless, when I say this, it should not be taken that nothing is ever interesting in our culture when compared to China: we have our own strengths （and weaknesses） just like any other country.

To recapitulate what I am saying above, the recent tour we just had proved to me how great China is culturally. If I were to use the metaphor discussed last time with Professor Roger Ames and Professor Chen shan Tian, the two main speakers on Confucianism in this tour, this wealth of culture of China is one of its whirlpools. It is a fount of China’s identity and, rightly so,its pride. This was made abundantly clear by this tour, my veryfirst outside Beijing.

Another observation I would like to make is based on the Lectures of Professor Ames and Professor Tian at Anyang Institute of Technology on Confucianism and that lovely discussion we had with both of them at Professor Ames’hotel suite at Dengfeng. It was a personal epiphany that also showed how short-sighted I was—or ignorant—about China. I always had this idea that China, because of my impression of its government from what I read in the papers back home, as very rigid and unyielding. If I was called in-fact to present my 5-minute talk as planned last Friday, I would have fl irted with a Derridian play on Center and Margin. That China believed in absolutes. Professors Ames and Tian just disabused me of that notion when they talked about Confucianism’s openness to other possibilities and the need to innovate all the time.Apparently, there seems to be a resurgence of interest in Confucian thought and philosophy and people, like Professors Ames and Tian, as well as institutions and schools, are trying their best to animate discussion on the same with the end in view of in fl uencing individuals as well as how institutions are being run and managed: Confucianism not only animates the individual but also the collective as well.

I wish Confucianism was taught in our schools. In college during my time we never had Asian Civilization as a subject from the History Department; it is now being offered as an elective. Our Philosophy classes were also devoted to Western thought, basically European. We are Asians but we are not so steeped in Asian History and Civilization because of our brand of education. Recently, there have been developments in this area. Confucian Institute has been established in my university and a new program has been inaugurated—Chinese Studies—which is becoming popular, especially among Chinese Filipinos. The Chinese Embassy in the Philippines has also been active in promoting Chinese culture on a national scale. In the light of recent historical events as well as interlocking global economy, this is an auspicious even if belated development. As fellow Asians, Filipinos I guess will easily relate to Confucian thought and philosophy.

But I always know nothing was black and white. And that the Chinese, just like any people, are never homogeneous in their thinking despite impressions. My gut feel told me that even the Chinese had debates among themselves about a lot of things.

I tried to teach to the best of my ability my students in China not only my language but who we are as a people and show them that we have our own dreams and desires.

The lectures and discussions as well as tete-a-tetes with colleagues at BFSU just proved to me again that nothing is black and white and that China—monolithic it may seem to outsiders—is just any other country with its own contradictions and desires to make itself better and just and humane.

Lastly, a colleague in the Philippine Studies plans to translate a Filipino novel to Chinese because apparently there are only two of the thousands of Filipino novels that are translated to Chinese. I am helping this colleague of mine in this enterprise to really widen and deepen this understanding between the Philippines and China. After all, literature and creative writing may outwit and outlast dispensations.