安徽 吳安運(yùn)

★指點(diǎn)迷津

周圍環(huán)境包括人們生活、學(xué)習(xí)、工作和娛樂(lè)的場(chǎng)所，對(duì)環(huán)境的描寫可分為動(dòng)態(tài)描寫和靜態(tài)描寫。該話題常涉及三方面的內(nèi)容：一是介紹某地環(huán)境狀況；二是環(huán)境狀況的發(fā)展和變化；三是運(yùn)用恰當(dāng)?shù)姆椒▽?duì)環(huán)境進(jìn)行說(shuō)明。

該話題的寫作通常以空間位置或時(shí)間順序?yàn)榫€索進(jìn)行介紹和說(shuō)明，主要會(huì)運(yùn)用如列數(shù)字、做比較等說(shuō)明方法。其目的是將所要介紹的地點(diǎn)具體化、形象化。

這類話題的作文以說(shuō)明文為主，有時(shí)也出現(xiàn)應(yīng)用文。主體時(shí)態(tài)多為一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)。

★寫作模板

My hometown lies in_________（具體位置）.It has a long history and a population of_________（具體數(shù)字）.Recently,everything is changing in my hometown.Many new factories,houses and roads have been built,all of which make our life convenient.Places of interest include_________（具體景點(diǎn)）,making my hometown a popular site.

Maybe my hometown becomes more beautiful.

★典例分析1

假如你是王林，你的美國(guó)朋友Daniel將來(lái)南京學(xué)習(xí)，他想了解所到中學(xué)附近的濱江圖書館（Binjiang Public Library)。請(qǐng)根據(jù)海報(bào)中的信息，給他發(fā)一封電子郵件，介紹濱江圖書館的基本情況及部分館區(qū)的功能。

注意：

1.語(yǔ)言通順，意思連貫，書寫規(guī)范；

2.詞數(shù)80左右，電子郵件的開頭已經(jīng)給出，但不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。

Binjiang Public Library

Over 900,000 books and 13,000 electronic journals

Location:18 Binjiang Road,Jianye District

Open:8:00 a.m.(Mon.-Fri.)9:00 a.m.(Sat.&Sun.)

Closed:5:00 p.m.(Mon.-Fri.)8:00 p.m.(Sat.&Sun.)

Sections:Loan Desk,Reading Room,Computing Room,ElectronicResources,Children’s Story Corner,Book Shop...

Functions:borrow&return books

Search for information on the Internet

...

Dear Daniel,

I am pleased to know that you will come to Nanjing.___________________________

Yours sincerely,

Wang Lin

【題目解讀】

本文屬于書信類提示性作文，要求根據(jù)要點(diǎn)向美國(guó)朋友Daniel發(fā)一份電子郵件，介紹濱江圖書館的情況及部分館區(qū)的某些功能。

寫作時(shí)，我們要看清題目，組織好要點(diǎn)。做到內(nèi)容完整，層次清晰、語(yǔ)法正確、行文連貫，以一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)態(tài)為主。在遣詞造句上，注意使用高級(jí)詞匯和較復(fù)雜句型，合理使用連接詞、短語(yǔ)或特殊結(jié)構(gòu)等，以提高文章的檔次。

Yours sincerely,

【佳作賞析】Dear Daniel,

I am pleased to know that you will come to Nanjing.①So here’s some information for you about Binjiang Public Library.

②The library is located at 18 Binjiang Road,Jianye District.It has over 900,000 books and 13,000 electronic journals.You may spend your time in the library from 8:00 a.m.till 5:00 p.m.on weekdays.③Or 9:00 a.m.to 8:00 p.m.on weekends is also available.

④Besides,you can borrow or return books at Loan Desk,or you can buy some from the Book Shop.⑤In addition,if you’d like to search for information on the Internet,you are supposed to go to the Computing Room.Also,you may have a comfortable reading in the Reading Room.

The library is really a good place for both learning and relaxing,and ⑥I sincerely hope you’ll bring such abundant resources into full play.

Wang Lin

【亮點(diǎn)分析】本文內(nèi)容詳盡，要點(diǎn)全面，描寫具體，多次使用了高級(jí)詞匯和狀語(yǔ)從句、動(dòng)詞不定式和較復(fù)雜句子結(jié)構(gòu)，從而增強(qiáng)了文章的可讀性，增添了文章的文采。

①文章開門見山，直奔主題。

②此句用了“主—系—表”結(jié)構(gòu)的句型，提高了句子表達(dá)的靈活性。

③準(zhǔn)確使用連詞or，使句子銜接自然；available的使用，增添了句子的文采。

④此句再次使用過(guò)渡詞和選擇連詞，使句子自然過(guò)渡。

⑤過(guò)渡短語(yǔ)in addition的使用避免了語(yǔ)言的重復(fù)，讓人感到該作者具有較豐富的單詞儲(chǔ)備；search for和be supposed to的使用，使得句子錦上添花。

⑥高級(jí)詞匯abundant和短語(yǔ)bring sth.into full play等，充分展示了作者扎實(shí)的英語(yǔ)寫作功底。

★典例分析2

聯(lián)合國(guó)教科文組織（UNESCO）想了解你校的情況，并發(fā)來(lái)了一個(gè)表格（見下表）。請(qǐng)參考表格里的內(nèi)容提示，用英語(yǔ)寫一篇短文，介紹你校的相關(guān)情況。

要求：

1.要包含表格內(nèi)的全部信息內(nèi)容，詞數(shù)不少于80；

2.不能出現(xiàn)考生真實(shí)的姓名和校名。

【題目解讀】

要參考表格的內(nèi)容提示，寫一篇英語(yǔ)短文，介紹學(xué)校的相關(guān)情況。此類作文屬于說(shuō)明文體的范疇，主體句應(yīng)為一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)態(tài)。

寫作時(shí)，我們應(yīng)仔細(xì)審題，明確寫作要求。認(rèn)真閱讀所給信息，恰當(dāng)?shù)剡M(jìn)行寫作整合。說(shuō)明的內(nèi)容要有條理，語(yǔ)言表達(dá)要客觀、簡(jiǎn)潔。為體現(xiàn)自己的感情，可適當(dāng)應(yīng)用一些描述性語(yǔ)言，避免句式的單一化。為使句子之間的銜接更自然，盡量使用已學(xué)過(guò)的說(shuō)明性短語(yǔ)和句型。

【佳作賞析】

①I’m very glad to describe my school to you.

Well,my school takes up ten thousand square meters or so.②A large figure,isn’t it?Besides,about twelve buildings③stand in my school,which are tall and modern.With so many buildings,④there is no doubt that my school consists of lots of teachers and students.In fact,there are about four hundred teachers and six thousand students.So my school has four teaching buildings for us to study in.⑤Apart from teaching buildings,there are three sports fields,⑥where we can play basketball,football and so on.⑤Also we use them to hold yearly school sports meet and basketball matches.How interesting!⑤Besides,due to a large number of teachers and students,my school has built four apartments,one for teachers,the others for us students.They are all new and very comfortable.Walking around my school,we can see many flowers,like China rose and tall trees.I like them so much that I often walk in the school yard enjoying them.

【亮點(diǎn)分析】本文布局合理，材料安排詳略得當(dāng)，內(nèi)容翔實(shí)，語(yǔ)言描述客觀、具體。富有變化的句式，增添了文章的風(fēng)采。過(guò)渡語(yǔ)的恰當(dāng)運(yùn)用，使文章層次清晰。全文概括點(diǎn)題，簡(jiǎn)約有力。

①開頭一句，引出下文，也體現(xiàn)了作者對(duì)自己學(xué)校的喜愛之情。 “I’m glad to describe my school to you.”要比“I’ll describe my school.”更富有感情色彩，這使作者對(duì)自己學(xué)校的自豪感躍然紙上。

②不經(jīng)意的一個(gè)反意疑問(wèn)句，實(shí)際在傳遞一個(gè)信息：學(xué)校的校園很大。作者的獨(dú)具匠心，令人叫絕。

③stand一詞的使用，彰顯了動(dòng)感。如使用動(dòng)詞are，則會(huì)令人感覺平淡。

④that引導(dǎo)的同位語(yǔ)從句及consist of等高級(jí)詞匯的使用，顯示了作者不凡的寫作水平。若使用there be句型，就會(huì)顯得平鋪直敘，毫無(wú)新意可言。

⑤apart from,also,besides等過(guò)渡詞和短語(yǔ)的交替使用使句式富有變化，突出了文章的層次感。

⑥作者不失時(shí)機(jī)地介紹了在體育場(chǎng)上舉行的活動(dòng)，使文章內(nèi)容更加充實(shí)。

⑦本文結(jié)尾高度概括，統(tǒng)領(lǐng)全文；such一詞的使用，顯得更加精辟。

【參考范文】

Our school is not very large.It covers an area of about thirty thousand square meters,with only 500 students and 46 teachers.There are only three buildings in it,none of which is very tall.The largest one is a newly built teaching building.The second largest is the students’apartment and the third one is the teachers’apartment.The two apartments were both built in the year 1993.The school has one football field and two basketball fields,where we usually have happy hours after school.Trees and flowers are everywhere and we all love them.

◎小試牛刀

假如你是李華，住在新京。你的加拿大筆友Lucy來(lái)信談到了她所居住的城市，并希望了解你家鄉(xiāng)新京的情況。請(qǐng)你用英語(yǔ)寫一封回信?；匦彭毎ㄏ卤碇械膬?nèi)容：

注意事項(xiàng)：

1.回信中不能使用“新京”以外的地名；

2.詞數(shù)100左右（信的開頭與結(jié)尾已給出，但不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)）。參考詞匯：economy n.經(jīng)濟(jì)Dear Lucy，

It’s very kind of you to write to me and let me know about your beautiful city.Now I’d like to tell you something about my hometown Xinjing.

Yours，

Li Hua