畢世穎

Abstract：Doris Lessing is the one of the most famous contemporary writers and is honored as the most important writer after Virginia Woolf. Her work Golden Book， through the depiction of Annas life pursuit and personal life， shows the fragmented society and the peoples disordered spiritual outlook. This paper tries to analyze Annas Quests from three aspects. These aspects constitute the writers reflection and exploration of the social life， life conviction and literary creation.

Key words： quest； spiritual outlook； exploration

Doris Lessing， a complex and prolific writer in the 20th century of English literature. As the most important work of Lessing， The Golden Notebook tries to present the social outlook of the mid-twentieth century through five-color notebooks.

The world of 1960s， which saw two Great Wars， was very turbulent and disordered. The cruelty of the war gave Anna the heroin the incurable agony and suffered schizophrenia. In order to get rid of this kind of breakdown， she started to cure herself by a series of ways by questing the truth about communism， creative life and emotional life.

I. Quest for communism

Annas political life was filled with chaos and confusion. Anna was an idealist in politics. When she was in Africa， she witnessed the oppression and racial discrimination experienced by Africans. So she took part in African Communist Party and believed that Soviet Communist Party could abolish various racial prejudices and discrimination and regarded the local leftist as the only one who opposed racial discrimination. Thus， she actively participated in political activities； meanwhile， she learned Marxist theory and discussed the common political problems with communists. They hoped they could change the world by their movement. However， it was not the start of political questing but of disappointment. The Party was totally useless and there was nothing to be done in practice. Finally， the political ideal of Anna was broken. After some meetings and experiences， she realized that the existing Communist Party was different from her beautiful illusion about communism. So she decided to drop out of the Party. The first purpose of joining the Party was to unite her into a whole. However， the breakdown and darkness of communism made her more frustrated and confused. From craze to disillusionment， Annas political questing was increasingly changed. The process of pursuing political ideal was questing the truth of political ideal.

II. Quest for artistic creation

In Annas opinion， as a writer， she should be conscientious and responsible for the society and readers. When Anna was young， she joined the war against racial discrimination in Central Africa. The experience was the source of her novel Frontiers of War. The publication of the novel fundamentally changed her understanding on creation. The original purpose of the novel was to reveal the racial problem of African colony. However， readers all thought it was a novel which mainly described love and sex. The excessive description of objective facts disassociated the original intention of Annas creation. Under the negative emotion， she lost the ability of creation so that she had to give up writing. In the meantime， the commercial deal of Frontiers of War crushed her dream of literary creation in her deep heart.

When pursuing artistic creation， Anna was always restricted by a writers moral responsibility. In her deep heart， she fought with negative emotion and would like to show a meaningful life in her positive literature. However， her writing block made her worse. In order to break through the mental block， she decided to find ways to change.

So she talked with Mrs. Marx， her psychoanalyst， who tried to get back her confidence about writing and said to her that only unceasing writing could help her break away from the writing block. On the other hand， she recorded her life in four different-color notebooks， trying to be familiar with the chaotic world and mental dissociation. The intention of classifying the notebook was to recognize， confront and conquer it. The process of classification was self-redemption.

Finally， Anna understood what creation meant for life. Not only did it reflect life， but it also provided a method to know life. Anna did not haggle over every ounce for creation any more and could confront the flaw and deficiencies of life. She realized the truth of creation.

III. Quest for emotional life

After World War II， the world civilization needed to be reinstituted， meanwhile， the future was uncertain. “Men. Women. Bound. Free. Good. Bad. Yes. No. Capitalism. Socialism. Sex. Love.” （Lessing 24） Everything was infinitely magnified. People began to pursue the thing they wanted rather than being confined in a changeless system. Anna was such a free woman who grew up in the situation.

In the patriarchal society， if women wanted to get rid of the ruling of men， at first， they should have independent economic base. In The Golden Notebook， Anna was a single mother who had economic base without receiving any support from her ex-husband. She enjoyed dating with different men and had sex with them， because she did not want to be infatuated with any men. However， in fact， in the privacy of her thoughts， she extremely yearned for a stable and harmonious marriage and family.

The love with Michael was Annas only meaningful experience. However， the love ruined her dream thoroughly and brought her into trouble. Michael was ever a passionate and ideal communist， but now had become a frustrated and perplexed person in that confusing era. He had no hope about life and stingily gave mental support to Anna. He often commented sarcastically： “How is your welfare work going， Anna？ Saved any more souls recently？” （Lessing 177） However， Anna thought it was normal in that society and firmly believed that if she maintained the relationship with them， she could create a well-ordered life and keep the personality unbroken. The blind love made her stray away from the rational judgment. In their relationship， she never had the right that a woman should have and never got rid of the female image that women should surrender and obey blindly. Although Anna endeavored to hold them together， they broke up in the end. It made Anna trapped into a pessimistic and negative feeling.

In order to understand the cause of failure of love， Anna wrote a novel， called The Shadow of the Third in the Yellow Notebook， which was the epitome of Anna and Michael. Ella， the heroin of the novel， who had the same situation as Anna， met her lover of her life —Paul after a failing marriage. Ella gave all her love to him. Under the influence of Paul， she even started to want to be such as woman： “She slowly， involuntarily， builds up a picture in her mind of a serene， calm， unjealous， unenvious， undemanding woman， full of resources of happiness inside herself， self-sufficient， yet always ready to give happiness when it is asked for.”（Lessing 219） Ella tried to change herself to cater to Pauls taste. However， Paul， who was resentful， heartless and libertine， just enjoyed sex with Ella. Thus， the end of the story was that Paul went to Nigeria to pretend to work in order to leave Ella.

Anna realized her innocence and blind attachment to Michael from Ella. She regarded love as a means to produce happiness and regarded affection as her own shelter. She had intended to regard the love of Michael as the spiritual support of life. However， she only gained more pain and breakdown. Ellas decision enlightened Anna to get away from the dilemma. The eagerness for love and the pursuit of independent personality was the reference for Annas self-struggling and the original power for Annas self-redemption. Through the fictional novel and the vivid figure， Anna learned how to solve the problem from a new perspective. However， the total recovery of Anna came when she knew a new man， Saul Green. They both realized the meaning of life. The value of life lay in the persistent endeavor. Even there was full of failure， hope could not be given up. World was not completely perfect； truth was not absolutely right， so people could only adjust themselves to adapt to the society and create a beautiful reality.

Conclusion

In The Golden Notebook， the contradiction between ideality and reality， the conflict between order and chaos is the primary cause of Annas mental dissociation. Only by acknowledging the logical existence of diverse life， searching for a multiple thinking way to know the essence of life， and building order in chaos can Anna overcome the writing block， love dilemma and unite her fragments into a whole.

[Reference]

[1]Lessing， Doris. The Golden Notebook. New York： Chelsea House， 1986.

[2]陳才宇. 《金色筆記》閱讀提示與背景材料. 杭州： 浙江大學(xué)出版社， 2009.

[3]多麗絲·萊辛. 金色筆記. 陳才宇， 劉新民譯. 南京： 譯林出版社， 2000.

（作者單位：沈陽理工大學(xué)外國(guó)語學(xué)院，遼寧 沈陽 110168）