姜經(jīng)志

Tomorrow is the New Years Day. Yesterday all the students in Class 1， Grade 8 asked the head teacher Mr. Zhang to have a New Years Day party. My Zhang told the monitor to organize the activity.

“Excuse me， Mr. Wang. We need some help. Could you please help us write the words， ‘Happy New Years Day！ and draw something on the blackboard？” asked Wang Hui. Mr. Wang said， “Sorry， I cant. I have to have art classes. You can do① yourselves.”

Wang Hui said to Li Ying who is good at draw②， “Could you please write and draw something on the blackboard？” “Sure，” said Li Ying.

“Hello， everyone！ Could you please clean and decorate the classroom？”

“Sure.”

Two hours later， everything were③ ready for the party.

安徽省濉溪縣百善中心學校九（3）班 周麗

點評

1. 優(yōu)點：

小作者能根據(jù)寫作要求，展開聯(lián)想，將文章按事件發(fā)生的先后順序來組織文章，這樣文章就顯得條理十分清晰，而且運用了剛學過的語言點，寫好短文；此外，主題鮮明，表達流暢，這些都是本文的閃光點。然而，也有錯誤存在，仍要努力練筆。

2. 需要修改的地方：

① 在do后面加上代詞it。 it用來代替要做的事情。

② 把draw改為動名詞drawing。因為介詞at后用名詞或動名詞。

③ 把此處的were改為was。因為當everything， somebody， everyone等復合不定代詞作主語時，動詞用單數(shù)形式。

3. 評分：

按中考英語作文滿分20的評分標準，本文修改前可得17分。