于琰
I am reminded the dove is often heard before
it is seen, reminded that the rifle1 is an extension of
the man. I am reminded of so much this morning,
the weight of the rifle awkward in my hands.
Lock the target, sense the line2, let the gun
do its job. Must everything in life
sound so mystical? Out in the field
two wild turkeys mope and saunter;3
they know we are after birds of the air and not
those that prefer the field. I am reminded that
we are also creatures that prefer the field.
Trust your hearing, I am told. But my hearing
isnt my best sense. And the keen sense of sight
I inherited seems strangely limited on the ground,
in this clearing where the field is ringed4
by a rampart5 of trees. Lock the target. I have
no target. Trust your hearing, he repeats.
And when I say hawk before the shadow
crosses over our heads, before sound or sight
can confirm it, I am labeled prey6
instead of hunter. The joke is that only a bird
senses the presence of a stronger bird.
You are prey, he laughs. Youre a strange bird.
When I turn quickly and fire the rifle over his head,
the distant dove suddenly forced to contend with7 gravity,
my shy hunter is as pale as an apparition8. The rifle is
an extension of the man, I respond. Somewhere
in the distance, the hawk wheels9 and disappears
into a stand10 of trees. Despite everything, he is right,
my shy hunter. I know this. I know I am prey.
我想起鴿子總是先被聽見,然后
才被看到,想起步槍是人的延伸。
今天早上我想起了太多東西,
雙手笨拙地舉著沉重的步槍。
鎖定目標(biāo),三點(diǎn)一線,讓槍
完成它的使命。生活里的每件事
都得顯得這么神秘嗎?田野外有
兩只野火雞悠然踱步;它們知道
我們的目標(biāo)是翱翔空中的飛禽,
而不是喜歡陸地的家伙。我想起
其實(shí)我們也是喜歡陸地的生物。
相信你的聽覺,我被告知。但聽覺
并不是我最強(qiáng)的感官。可奇怪的是,
我與生俱來的敏銳視覺在這塊土地上
頗為受限,一排樹木如城墻般包圍著
這塊空地。鎖定目標(biāo)。我并沒有
什么目標(biāo)。相信你的聽覺,他重復(fù)道。
我喊了一聲“鷹”,旋即一團(tuán)黑影
從我們頭頂掠過,聲響和視線證實(shí)了
它的存在,但在我出聲的那一刻,
我已被視作獵物,而非獵人??尚Φ氖牵?/p>
只有鳥兒才能覺察到更強(qiáng)壯的鳥。
你是獵物,他笑道。你真是只奇怪的鳥。
當(dāng)我迅速轉(zhuǎn)身,向他頭頂上空開槍,
遠(yuǎn)處的鴿子突然被迫與重力抗?fàn)帲?/p>
我那羞怯的獵人如幽靈般蒼白。步槍是
人的延伸,我回答道。在遠(yuǎn)處的
某個(gè)地方,那只鷹盤旋著,消失
于一片樹叢中。不論如何,他都是對(duì)的,
我那羞怯的獵人。我知道的。我是獵物。