李袁彧
Dear Linda,
Long time no see! I miss you very much.
I am taller and healthier now than I was two years ago. I spend less time playing the computer games. Most of the time, I read and study. It helps me to get better grades. I also made many new friends because I am more outgoing now than before.
I will live every day of my life with absolute passion. How about you? Please reply to me as quickly as possible. Give me a visit if you are free.
Yours
Alice
彭小雙老師點(diǎn)評(píng):這篇文章的主題是以書信的格式比較現(xiàn)在的自己和兩年前的變化,重點(diǎn)練習(xí)比較狀語從句。作者立意明確,從學(xué)習(xí)和交友兩個(gè)方面來描述了自己的變化,書信格式也很工整。但老師認(rèn)為還可以從課外生活這方面來補(bǔ)充描述,并利用更多復(fù)合句來補(bǔ)充句子的定狀補(bǔ)成分,讓句子更加豐盈。
范文:
Dear Linda,
Long time no see! How is everything going with you? I am very happy to share something about my new school life with you.
I am taller and healthier than I was two years ago. In order to get better grades, I spend less time playing computer games. Most of the time, I read books and write stories, which can make my life easier later. Of course, I also play sports three times a week after class, to improve the physical and mental health. Whats more, I have more friends now because I am more outgoing and more friendly than before.
I will live every day to the fullest and I really enjoy my school life. How about your? If you are available, I hope we can play together this autumn.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours
Alice