Here is a conversation about hometown between a university student from Suzhou,Zhou Yi and his foreign e-friend,Jim.
Jim:What’s the name of your hometown?
Zhou Yi:Suzhou is my hometown.It is a major city located in the southeastern part of Jiangsu Province.What’s more,it is a major economic center and the second-largest city in the province,after its capital Nanjing.
Jim:Would you like to describe your hometown a little?
Zhou Yi:My pleasure.Suzhou has over 2,500 years of history,so there are plenty of places of historical interest,such as the Tiger Hill,Hanshan Temple,and Pingjiang Road.It is famous for its beautiful classical gardens,tasty green tea as well as amazing clothes made of silk.
Jim:How long have you been living there?
Zhou Yi:I was born and raised in Suzhou.I’ve lived there more than thirty years,except for when I went to Nanjing,the capital city of Jiangsu Province,to study at Nanjing University.After that,I came back to my lovely hometown and have never left my hometown since then.
Jim:Do you like your hometown?If so,what do you like most about it?
Zhou Yi:I love Suzhou very much because it’s a mix of the ancient and modern world.You can visit different kinds of classical gardens in Gusu District.You can also see many skyscrapers here and there in Industrial Park District.Furthermore,people living here are all very friendly,which makes it a pleasant place to live in.
Jim:Do you think you will continue living there for a long time?
Zhou Yi:Yes,I believe I will spend the rest of my life in Suzhou.It offers all the modern facilities,plenty of job opportunities and then a nice environment and communication systems.We have also got some nice educational institutes,hospitals,community centers,and open spaces that make this city a comfortable place to live in.
Jim:Has your hometown changed much since you were a child?
Zhou Yi:Yes,of course.The city that I see today is much too advanced and developed compared to when I was in primary school.Our government invests so much in Suzhou’s economic growth.The_public_transport_system_is_being_upgraded_and_skyscrapers_are springing up like mushrooms.There are more and more people from other cities choosing to live in Suzhou.
skyscrapern.摩天大樓 facilityn.設(shè)施 environmentn.環(huán)境
communication systems 通信系統(tǒng) educational institutes 教育機(jī)構(gòu)
advancedadj.先進(jìn)的
1.The city that I see today is much too advanced and developed compared to when I was in primary school.
今天看到的城市與我上小學(xué)時(shí)相比,太先進(jìn)、太發(fā)達(dá)了。“that I see today”是定語從句,修飾the city;“compared to when I was in primary school”是過去分詞作狀語。
2.The public transport system is being upgraded and skyscrapers are springing up like mushrooms.
公共交通系統(tǒng)正在升級(jí),摩天大樓如雨后春筍般涌現(xiàn)?!癿ushroom”的意思是“蘑菇”,蘑菇在濕潤(rùn)的環(huán)境中會(huì)迅速生長(zhǎng)?!皊pring up like mushrooms”是英語俗語,用比喻的修辭手法形象地描繪了事物迅速、大量地出現(xiàn)或發(fā)展的情景。
假如你是初中生李雷,你國外的朋友Daniel 想要了解你的家鄉(xiāng)。請(qǐng)從環(huán)境、交通、飲食、活動(dòng)、個(gè)人感受等方面用英語寫一篇100字左右的短文介紹你的家鄉(xiāng)。
原文呈現(xiàn)升格展示
Hello! I’m Li Lei.I’m going to show you around my hometown—Taizhou.
My hometown,Taizhou,has a long history.The air here is fresh.We can always hear the birds sing and smell the fragrance of flowers.There are many interesting places to go,like Taizhou Old Street,Mei Lanfang Park and so on.Among them,Qinhu Park is the most famous one.If you come,you will see the wonderful scenery and watch the lovely animals there.
It is easy for us to go around the city by bus.It takes only ten minutes to get to the city center by bus from my home.
從小作者家到市中心方便不夠證明全市交通便利,可說明馬路的情況,比如寬敞干凈,并列舉從郊區(qū)到市中心乘公交車很便利的例子來證明。
People here are friendly and kind.They get along well with each other.And they are fond of Taizhou morning tea.At that time,we can try lots of delicious food,such as Huangqiao pancake,shredded dry beancurd,fish soup noodles and steamed dumplings stuffed with crabmeat.
本文是泰州學(xué)生介紹自己的家鄉(xiāng),此處人稱代詞應(yīng)為we。
第四段的第一、二兩句話與下文關(guān)聯(lián)度不高,可以放到感受那部分。本段開頭可以改成Taizhou is famous for its morning tea.
This is my beautiful hometown.I enjoy my life here.I hope you can come and visit here one day.
(江蘇省靖江市實(shí)驗(yàn)學(xué)校天水分校 羅張涵)
Hello!I’m Li Lei.I’m going to show you around my hometown—Taizhou.
My hometown,Taizhou,has a long history.The air here is fresh.We can always hear the birds sing and smell the fragrance of flowers,which makes us feel relaxed and comfortable.
Moreover,there are many places of interest to go,like Taizhou Old Street,Mei Lanfang Park and so on.Among them,Qinhu Park is the most famous one.If you come,you can see the wonderful scenery and watch the lovely animals there.
The roads in my hometown are wide and clean.And it is convenient for us to go around the city.It takes only twenty minutes to get to the city center by bus from the countryside.
As is known to us all,Taizhou is famous for its morning tea.Everyone is fond of it.During the morning teatime,we can try lots of delicious food,such as Huangqiao pancake,shredded dry beancurd,fish soup noodles and steamed dumplings stuffed with crabmeat.They’re so delicious that many visitors come to taste them every year.
People here are kind and friendly.We get along well with each other.I feel lucky to live here.
This is my lovely hometown.I really enjoy my life here and I’m looking forward to your visit soon.
綜合點(diǎn)評(píng)
本篇書面表達(dá)是介紹自己的家鄉(xiāng),小作者從環(huán)境、活動(dòng)、交通和美食等方面描寫了自己的家鄉(xiāng)——泰州,全文緊扣主題,段落層次分明,語言親切自然。
升格文中,小作者通過增加連接詞使得段與段、句與句之間的銜接更加緊密。小作者還使用了豐富的句式,如定語從句、條件狀語從句、so...that...引導(dǎo)的結(jié)果狀語等,使語言更加精煉,上下文過渡更加流暢,情感更加充沛。
(江蘇省泰州市第二中學(xué)附屬初中 季蕾)