廣東 鐘 婧
One day,I was in class,feeling fine,when all of a sudden my heart started racing.I broke out in a sweat,feeling hot and cold all over.My chest hurt,and I felt dizzy.It seemed that I couldn't breathe at all.Everything went blurry(模糊的)around the edges.Sure,I was about to faint.I jerked up(猛地起來)from my desk and ran out from the classroom,terrified.I didn't care what the teacher thought,or that the eyes of the entire class were on me.I just had to get out of there.
I ran to the nearest water fountain and drank some water.For several minutes,I just stood there holding on to the fountain.What was happening?Was I having a heart attack?Slowly,the lightheadedness(頭暈)went away.My heart stopped racing,and every other symptom faded too.I still had no idea what had happened,but I was so glad that it was over.
Still,I was really worried.I'd never felt that bad in my life.What was wrong with me?What if it came back?
And then,an hour later,it did the pounding heart and the dizziness,the feeling that I was dying.Once again,I couldn't breathe.And this time,there was also pain throughout my entire upper body.I burst into tears and ran to the hallway again,actually afraid of my life.Miss Smith ran after me asking what was wrong.Panicking,I managed to choke out,“I need an ambulance...Please...I was sure I was dying.”
To my surprise,though,Miss Smith didn't grab her phone for help.Instead,she put her hand on my arm and told me to slow down.“Breathe,” she said,“and you're going to be okay.You just need to calm down.”I felt like I was going crazy.Here I was totally losing it,and she was acting like nothing was wrong!
Language
Study
Useful sentence patterns
1.One day,I was in class,feeling fine,when all of a sudden my heart started racing.
分析:feeling fine是V-ing分詞短語作狀語的用法,表示伴隨的狀態(tài)。語境為“有一天,我正在上課,感覺良好,突然我的心開始狂跳”。
2.I jerked up from my desk and ran out from the classroom,terrified.
分析:terrified是形容詞作狀語的用法,表示伴隨的狀態(tài)。語境為“我從桌子上猛地起來,跑出了教室,感到很驚恐”。
Reading
Check
閱讀上面的文章,根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫,使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。
注意:
1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;
2.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段,每段的開頭語已為你寫好。
Paragraph 1:
She kept on trying to calm me down,but I wasn't ready to listen.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 2:
When I realized that she really did understand my anxiety,I felt so relieved.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
寫作導引
一、語篇研讀
讀后續(xù)寫要求續(xù)寫的部分在情節(jié)和邏輯方面與原文高度契合。為此,我們必須在掌握原文大意和敘述意圖的基礎(chǔ)上,分析所給文章的情境模式。
分析記敘文的情境模式,就需要關(guān)注5個W,即who、what、when、where,以及why。我們在閱讀時要把握故事的情節(jié)線,分析故事的起因、開始和發(fā)展,并歸納出故事的主要矛盾。根據(jù)文章中已知的信息,如情感線索、行為線索、時間線索、空間線索等來推斷將要發(fā)生的事情,合理構(gòu)思續(xù)寫部分的情節(jié)。
images/BZ_32_187_270_1997_1267.png
二、情節(jié)構(gòu)思
基于原文和續(xù)寫段落首句提供的信息,采用圍繞中心提問的方法,構(gòu)思要續(xù)寫的故事情節(jié),這個過程一般分為四步。
第一步,根據(jù)已給出的文本判斷文章的立意。
有一天,“我”在上課時,感覺良好,突然心跳加速,頭暈目眩,呼吸困難?!拔摇绷⒓磁艹鼋淌液人徑獍Y狀,但沒過多久,“我”又經(jīng)歷了一次這種痛苦,好像就要死去一般。這時“我”向老師求救,但她竟然沒叫救護車,只是讓“我”冷靜下來,表現(xiàn)得像沒事的樣子。結(jié)合文章標題和續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句,我們可以推斷出作者可能患有焦慮癥,然后可以得出本文的主旨是如何幫助焦慮癥患者解決心理問題。
第二步,根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句倒推續(xù)寫第一段應(yīng)包括什么內(nèi)容。
根據(jù)“當‘我’意識到她真的理解‘我’的焦慮時,‘我’如釋重負?!笨芍?,續(xù)寫第一段要寫老師如何讓作者冷靜下來,并使作者從心底接受她的指導和幫助,這樣才能確保續(xù)寫的兩段是相銜接的。
第三步,圍繞續(xù)寫第一段所給出的段首句,以及上面的分析進行提問:
1.How did I feel when Miss Smith didn't call the ambulance?
2.What did Miss Smith do or say to calm me down?
3.After her explanation,how did I feel?
第四步,圍繞續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句進行提問:
1.What caused my anxiety?
2.What did Miss Smith do to help me deal with my anxiety?
3.Did I successfully get rid of the anxiety in the end?
三、潤色成篇
在續(xù)寫的過程中要注意情節(jié)連貫、各部分內(nèi)容相銜接,即:1.兩段的續(xù)寫與所給短文的銜接;2.每段的續(xù)寫與續(xù)寫段段首句之間的銜接;3.續(xù)寫的兩段之間的銜接。