Good Sight

Lawyer： You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident？ Just how far can you see clearly？

Witness： Well， when I wake up in the morning I see the sun， and they tell me it is about ninety-three million miles away.

好視力

律師：你說(shuō)你離事故現(xiàn)場(chǎng)約有35英尺，你能看清多遠(yuǎn)的東西？

證人：這么說(shuō)吧，早上起床后我看見(jiàn)太陽(yáng)，別人告訴我這大約有9300萬(wàn)英里遠(yuǎn)。

Part-time Job

When my son was a high-school sophomore， he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles.

“How was your first day？” I asked.

“It was great， Dad，” he replied. “I got to talk to some good-looking girls.”

Since Stephen is not very talkative， I asked， “What did you say to them？”

“Do you prefer paper or plastic？”

兼職

我兒子在一所中學(xué)讀二年級(jí)時(shí)，他在一家超級(jí)市場(chǎng)找到了一份包裝商品的兼職。他滿面笑容地回到了家。

“第一天感覺(jué)如何？”我問(wèn)。

“好極了，爸爸?！彼鸬?，“我跟許多漂亮的女孩子講了話?！?/p>

由于斯蒂芬不善言談，我問(wèn)道：“你跟她們說(shuō)了些什么？”

“你是喜歡紙包裝還是塑料包裝？”

Who do you think you are？

The bus was crowded， and as one more man tried to get on， the passengers wouldnt let him aboard.

“It is too crowded，” they shouted， “who do you think you are？”

“I am the driver.” he said.

你以為你是誰(shuí)？

公共汽車上很擠，當(dāng)又一個(gè)人還是試圖上車時(shí)，乘客們不讓他上。

“車上太擠了，”他們喊道，“你以為你是誰(shuí)？”

“我是司機(jī)！”他說(shuō)。

Always Thirsty

“I had an operation，” said a man to his friend， “and the doctor left a sponge in me.”

“Thats terrible！” said the friend. “Got any pain？”

“No， but I am always thirsty！”

總感到口渴

一個(gè)男人對(duì)他的朋友說(shuō)：“我動(dòng)了一次手術(shù)，手術(shù)后醫(yī)生把一塊海綿忘在我的身體里了。”

“真是太糟糕了！”朋友說(shuō)道：“你覺(jué)得疼嗎？”

“不疼，可是我總感到口渴！”

（山東威海 林曦 供稿）