在修改雅思學(xué)生的習(xí)作過程中,老雅經(jīng)常發(fā)現(xiàn)這樣一個(gè)問題:學(xué)生習(xí)作段落中的單句看起來問題不大,但把這些句子放在一起,總覺得不夠連貫。造成這種現(xiàn)象的重要原因就是句子之間缺乏連貫性。
增強(qiáng)句間連貫的方式有很多,比如使用連接詞,如and、so、but、since等,這些連接詞很明確地顯示句子之間的關(guān)聯(lián),因此能將句子連接起來。在使用連接詞方面,我們需要注意漢英的區(qū)別,即漢語中連接詞使用相對英語而言要少得多,這導(dǎo)致我們學(xué)生在寫英語句子時(shí),往往按照漢語習(xí)慣,該用連接詞的地方不用連接詞,從而導(dǎo)致句子之間缺乏連貫性。除了使用連接詞,還可以使用代詞、名詞重復(fù)等方式來實(shí)現(xiàn)句子之間的連貫。這些方法,只要多加注意,學(xué)生是比較容易掌握的。
在本文中,老雅準(zhǔn)備給大家講一種相對隱蔽因而也更難把握的連貫方式,即通過句式的選擇來實(shí)現(xiàn)句間連貫。我們先來看以下這個(gè)段落:
It will be a long time before any landing on Mars can be attempted. This will only be possible when scientists have learnt a lot more about the atmosphere that surrounds the planet. If a satellite can one day be put into orbit round Mars, scientists will be able to find out a great deal. An interesting suggestion for measuring the atmosphere around Mars has been put forward. (選自《新概念英語》第三冊第9課)
畫線部分的句子可以改寫成:Only when scientists have learnt a lot more about the atmosphere that surrounds the planet will this be possible. 從語法上看,這個(gè)句子也毫無問題,但原文為什么不使用這個(gè)句子呢?同學(xué)們在閱讀中可能很少去問這樣的問題,但其實(shí)思考這樣的問題對我們提高寫作太重要了。我們可以看到,本句中的this指代的是前面landing on Mars,本句后面部分則引出科學(xué)家如何去了解火星周圍的大氣層。這樣,本句在該段中就發(fā)揮了承上啟下的功能:this放在句首承上句,“when scientists have learnt more about...”放在后面接下句,這樣的句式安排就完美地實(shí)現(xiàn)了句間的連貫。如果用改寫的句式,這種嚴(yán)密的連貫性就會(huì)遭到破壞。
如果從以上例子抽象出一個(gè)規(guī)則來,我們似乎可以這樣說:段落中的句子,其前半部分的內(nèi)容最好是舊信息,承接前面句子中的內(nèi)容,后半部分可以提出新信息,預(yù)告后面句子中的內(nèi)容。這樣的句式安排有利于實(shí)現(xiàn)句間連貫。不妨再看一例:
Pumas are large, cat-like animals which are found in America. When reports came into London Zoo that a wild puma had been spotted forty-five miles south of London, they were not taken seriously. (選自《新概念英語》第三冊第1課)
當(dāng)有人向倫敦動(dòng)物園報(bào)告說當(dāng)?shù)乜匆娏艘恢幻乐蕺{, 為什么人們不以為然? 這需要在上文尋找答案。美洲獅是“體型大、形狀似貓的動(dòng)物”與本問題無關(guān),只有“長在美洲”與問題相關(guān):正因?yàn)槊乐蕺{是長在美洲的動(dòng)物,因此當(dāng)有人報(bào)告在倫敦附近看到了一只美洲獅,人們便不以為然。這樣,which從句所表達(dá)的內(nèi)容就解釋了后面一句的內(nèi)容,把這個(gè)從句的內(nèi)容安排在句末,顯然更有利于句子之間的連貫。如果我們來更換一下句式,將原句改寫成:Pumas are animals found in America, which are large, cat-like. 這個(gè)句子語法也沒有錯(cuò)誤,但放在這個(gè)語境中,句間連貫性就大為減弱了。
為了讓大家看到句式安排對于句間連貫的重要性,茲再舉一例:
We are aware of our responsibility to our critics. We are also aware of our responsibility to the author who probably would not have authorized the publication of these pages. This responsibility we accept wholly, and we would willingly bear it alone. (選自索緒爾《普通語言學(xué)教程》前言)
本例中畫線部分將this responsibility置于句首,顯然是考慮到了上下文的連貫。因?yàn)榍皟删涮岬降氖恰拔覀円庾R(shí)到的責(zé)任”,第三句表示的是“我們愿面對責(zé)任并獨(dú)自承擔(dān)責(zé)任”, 將this responsibility提前,就緊承了前面句子中的“責(zé)任”,而后面的accept就與bear并列,讓全段一氣呵成,沒有絲毫斷裂感。如果將本句改為we accept this responsibility wholly,本句便不能很好地起到承前啟后的功能了。
下面,老雅擬從《劍橋雅思》系列提供的考官高分范文中提取幾個(gè)實(shí)際例子,按句間連貫的要求來解釋這些范文中的句式選擇。
例1:(1)However, learning to understand and share the value system of a whole society cannot be achieved just in home. (2)Once a child goes to school, they are entering a wider community where teachers and peers will have just as much influence as their parents do at home. (3)At school, children will experience working and living with people from a whole variety of backgrounds from the wider society. (4)This experience should teach them how to co-operate with each other and how to contribute to the life of their community. (選自《劍橋雅思8》考官高分范文)
本段共四句。句(1)接上段,說“學(xué)習(xí)社會(huì)價(jià)值體系不只在家里實(shí)現(xiàn)”,這句的重心在后面,“不只在家里實(shí)現(xiàn)”是新信息,引出句(2)中的once a child goes to school。如果把第一句寫成“However, home is not the only place for children to learn to understand and share the value system of a whole society”,那它就很難自然地接第二句。句(2)的重心在后面,即“教師和同伴對孩子的影響很大”,引出句(3)中的“Children will experience working and living with people...”,句(4)則很自然地以this experience開頭,承接上句,然后提出新信息,即“這種經(jīng)歷教會(huì)孩子們互相合作”。如果把最后一句改為“They can learn how to cooperate with each other... from this experience.”,語法雖然正確,但連貫性就差很多。不難看出,本段中的每個(gè)句子都是按照“舊信息+新信息”的模式來安排句式的,其中舊信息承接上句,新信息啟動(dòng)下句。
例2:(1)In many countries, the birth rate is decreasing so that families are smaller with fewer children.(2)These children are often spoilt, not in terms of love and attention because working parents do not have the time for this, but in more material ways.(3)They are allowed to have whatever they want, regardless of price, and to behave as they please.(4)This means that the children grow up without consideration for others and without any understanding of where their standard of living comes from.(選自《劍橋雅思4》考官高分范文)
本段也由四句構(gòu)成。句(1)提出許多家庭的孩子數(shù)量減少了,把with fewer children放在句末以引出后面的these children。如果將第一句改寫為“In many countries, families are smaller with fewer children because the birth rate is decreasing”,那么句子的重心就落在birth rate上,也就很難引出下面的these children are often spoilt。句(2)和句(3)是并列句,采取的都是“these children are...”的句式,共同說明現(xiàn)在社會(huì)里孩子的問題。句(4)則由“this means...”承前,并引出下面的內(nèi)容。這個(gè)段落中的句子模式也基本是“舊信息+新信息”,前一個(gè)句子后半部分的新信息成為后一個(gè)句子前半部分的舊信息,并由這個(gè)舊信息再引出新信息,以此類推。
例3 :(1)However, there are certainly dangers in taking time off at that important age.(2)Young adults may end up never returning to their studies or finding it difficult to readapt to an academic environment.(3)They may think that it is better to continue in a particular job or to do something completely different from a university course.(4)But overall I think this is less likely today, when academic qualifications are essential for getting a reasonable career. (選自《劍橋雅思5》考官高分范文)
本段依然由四句構(gòu)成(常規(guī)的雅思寫作段落都在四至五句之間),其中句(1)是主題句,句(2)和句(3)是并列的,共同說明間隔年(gap year)可能對young adults產(chǎn)生的影響,句(4)則表明作者自己的立場。句(2)和句(3)采用的都是“young adults may do...”的句式,句(4)為了承接前面,將this is置于句首,而將when引導(dǎo)的狀語從句置于句末。如果我們按照正常語序,將when academic qualifications are essential for getting a reasonable career置于this is less likely today之前,則會(huì)影響到(2)(3)兩句與句(4)之間的連貫性。
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