羅雪梅 李思燈
縱觀近五年(2015—2019年)高考英語全國卷書面表達,都是書信體裁,基本以文字提綱的方式呈現(xiàn),要點明確,任務具體,結構清晰。試題的“注意”部分要求考生“可以適當增加細節(jié),以使行文連貫”。這種靈活的命題方式既給了考生較大的發(fā)揮空間,又對考生提出了更高要求。高考英語作文評分標準第五檔(很好):(21-25分),涵蓋了如下特點:
完全完成了試題規(guī)定的任務:(1)覆蓋所有內容要點;(2)應用了較多的語法結構和詞匯;(3)語法結構或詞匯方面有些許錯誤,但為盡力使用較復雜結構或較高級詞匯所致,具備較強的語言運用能力;(4)有效地使用了語句間的連接成分,使全文結構緊湊,完全達到了預期的寫作目的。
而在考試中,有些考生無話可說,僅僅簡單翻譯所給信息點,文章顯得單調乏味,字數(shù)不足;有些考生信口開河,隨意發(fā)揮,導致詳略不當,偏離主題。因此,如何合理有效地增加細節(jié)是書面表達題得分的關鍵。下面我們以歷年高考真題為例談談增加細節(jié)的五大技巧。
一、增加交際功能性語言
書信體是一種具有很強交際功能的應用文體,通常有明確的目的,或為了增進感情,或為了獲取信息,或尋求幫助等,注重實用性,語言樸實簡潔,結構相對穩(wěn)定。為了創(chuàng)造準確、實用、真實的文本語境,我們可以在書信的開頭和結尾適當添加交際功能性的語言。如圍繞作者和讀者之間的關系,添加得體的交際用語。
1. 收信人和寫信人是朋友關系。
在書信的開頭可以添加問候語How are you doing these days? 或根據(jù)題目提供的語境增加合適的寒暄語。如(2017年全國I卷):
假定你是李華,正在教你的英國朋友Leslie學習漢語。請你寫封郵件告知下次上課的計劃。可以增加以下細節(jié):
Dear Leslie,
How are you doing today? I am very glad that youve been making great progress in your Chinese learning. Now I am writing to inform you of our course schedule of our next class.
通過題目中的情景“正在教你的英國朋友學習漢語”,補充與之相關的交際話語——你的中文進步很大,自然地引入寫信的目的,符合交際實際,使信件顯得自然得體。
2. 收信人是長輩或地位高一點的人,或陌生人。
在信件開頭可以補充自我介紹,以表尊重。如(2019年全國Ⅰ卷):
假定你是李華,暑期在倫敦學習,得知當?shù)孛佬g館要舉辦中國畫展覽。請寫一封信申請做志愿者。
Dear Sir,
My name is Li Hua, a Chinese student who is currently studying in London in this summer.
結合題目中設置的情景,增加個人身份介紹,合情合理,符合交際需要。
3. 回應來信所提問題,自然引出寫作目的。
有些書面表達題,要求考生根據(jù)題目要求,給對方回信。在這類信件中,在信件先提及對方的來信內容,說明回信背景。如(2018年全國I卷):
假定你是李華,你的新西蘭朋友Terry將去中國朋友家做客,發(fā)郵件向你詢問有關習俗。請你回復郵件。可以這樣開篇:
Dear Terry,
Im very delighted to receive your letter saying that you are going to visit a friend in China. As for the customs youve asked about, I have some tips for you.
用“Im very delighted to receive your letter saying that ...”很自然地說明了寫信背景,點明寫作目的。
4. 根據(jù)信件不同的寫作目的,補充適當?shù)拈_頭和結尾。
不同類型的信件一般會有特定的格式,我們要用心去整理和歸納。如建議信:
寫作目的——I am writing to give you some practical/constructive suggestions.
信件結尾——I do hope that youll find these suggestions useful/ beneficial/helpful.
二、擴充寫作要點的具體內容
書面表達題一般會有文字提綱和寫作要點提示,我們要根據(jù)提示要求,通過列舉等添加與要點相關的具體內容。如:
(1)(2017年全國I卷),內容包括:時間和地點。
We will have our next Chinese lesson in Room 501, Building 1 this Friday evening, starting at 7 oclock.
在這個句子中,補充了具體詳細的時間和地點。
(2)(2019年全國I卷)內容包括:個人優(yōu)勢。
Born into a family which attaches great importance to traditional Chinese culture, I have been learning Chinese painting ever since I was in primary school, which enables me to get the hang of the knowledge of Chinese painting, including the styles, skills and history behind it.
增加了個人優(yōu)勢——對中國畫的了解,同時用such as 列舉了流派、技巧、歷史等,使內容充實又具說服力。
三、添加句子成分,拓展句子,充實文章
在要點句基礎上適當增加合乎邏輯的附加成分,如定語(從句),狀語(從句)(如原因、目的、結果、讓步、方式)等,使語言邏輯清晰,便于理解。
1. 巧用修飾語。
恰當?shù)厥褂眯稳菰~或定語從句使句子更加形象生動。如:
(2017年全國Ⅰ卷)上課內容:學習唐詩
We are going to learn Tang Poetry.
→In the next lesson, we are going to learn the fantastic Tang poetry, which plays an extremely significant role in the Chinese literature and enjoys a great popularity among the old and the young as well.
在要點句“學習唐詩”的基礎上,添加了形容詞fantastic及定語從句,內容充實,語言豐富,富有感染力。
2. 明確交待原因。
交待原因是為了使句意更完整,避免給讀者留下疑問。交待原因通??梢越柚樵~短語或原因狀語從句,如owing to, due to, because of, thanks to, as a result of, because, as, since, now that等詞語引導。如:
(2019年全國Ⅰ卷)你能做的事情
I can act as a guide for the visitors, as I am not only familiar with the Chinese paintings but also capableof explaining the meanings and beauty hidden behind them in English fluently.
3. 清晰闡明目的。
在句子中使用闡明目的的詞語,如: so as (not) to, in order to, so that, in order that, for the fear that, for the purpose of等,使句子條理清晰,邏輯性強。如:
(2019年全國?域卷)賽前準備
In order to provide the students with a fantastic match, we need to have enough training.
4. 恰當補充條件,增強表達效果。
可以通過if, as long as, only if, unless, provided that, supposing that等引導條件狀語。如:
(2019年全國?域卷)賽前準備。
Only if we devote ourselves to practicing hard before the match can we have the chance to win the championship.
5. 合理延伸結果。
可用so that, so ... that, such ... that或therefore, hence等來增加結果狀語句。如:
(2019年全國I卷)內容包括:個人優(yōu)勢。
As a Chinese student currently studying in London, I have a good knowledge of both English and Chinese so that I can communicate with the visitors fluently.
6. 添加與要點相關的讓步狀語等內容。
可通過although, though, while, as, even though, even if, whoever, whatever, whenever, wherever, however, no matter+疑問詞等添加與寫作內容相關的信息。如:
(2016年全國Ⅰ卷)請她幫你修改所附材料
Though I wrote my resume and an application letter immediately, I am not sure whether they are written correctly and properly. Would you please be so kind as to give me some suggestions?”
四、添加過渡詞,突出篇章連貫性
根據(jù)行文或段落需要,在句子與句子或段落與段落之間適當增加過渡詞語或過渡句,以使文章渾然一體,提高說服力。例如,如果是敘述事情發(fā)展經(jīng)過的,可以用first, then, later, finally等詞語或 when, before, after, until引導的狀語從句等連接過程;表示遞進關系可用besides, moreover, furthermore, whats more, whats worse;表示轉折關系可用however, on one hand, on the other hand, on the contrary, in contrast等;表示因果關系可用therefore, so, hence, as a result, consequently等。如:
(2015年全國?域卷)2. 活動:包餃子,表演節(jié)目等。
We will make dumplings and put on performances and so on.
→On that day, there will be variety of activities. First, we will make dumplings together with the elderly people there. After that, we will put on some well-prepared performances, including singing, dancing, cross-talks and some fun games, which we hope will make them happy. Finally, we will also take some photos in memory of the wonderful moment before we come back.
如果像原句那樣直譯,語言直白,語氣平淡,字數(shù)難以達到寫作要求。通過增加段落的主題句“On that day, there will be a variety of activities.”使用first, after that, finally等,厘清了活動的過程,并對活動進行詳細描述,將句子拓展成為有組織的段落,使文章內容充實,篇章連貫。
五、補充個人感受和評價
作者如果能在行文中流露真實情感,則可以有效縮短與讀者之間的距離,使讀者產(chǎn)生共鳴??捎胋e more than happy to do, to ones surprise /disappointment /delight, out of ones expectation, luckily, sadly等詞表達個人情緒。如:
(1)(2019年全國I卷)得知當?shù)孛佬g館要舉辦中國畫展覽。
I learn that the local gallery is to hold an exhibition of Chinese paintings.
→I am more than thrilled to learn that there will be a Chinese painting exhibition in our local art gallery.
改寫后的句子讓讀者感受到作者的喜悅之情,也能充分理解其申請做志愿者的原因。
(2)(2016年全國?芋卷)說明因故不能赴約的原因
I was going to meet you at ten oclock on Friday afternoon. However, out of my expectation, I have to stay at home to take care of my sick brother as my parents have to work on that day.
在說明原因中用了out of expectation體現(xiàn)了作者不能赴約實在是事發(fā)突然,不得已為之,也讓讀者感受了他的無奈抱歉之情。
總之,我們要根據(jù)題目所設置的交際情景以及所給信息,增加恰當?shù)皿w的細節(jié),使文章內容充實,篇章連貫,表達得體,體現(xiàn)較高的語言表達運用能力。
責任編輯蔣小青