I will readily admit； it took me a long time to grow up. I graduated from Michigan State University in 1980 at the age of 23， with a freshly printed bachelors degree in psychology and no idea what I really wanted to do. After a couple of years， I entered graduate school in psychology， but even after I got my PhD four years later， I still didnt really know what I wanted to do. Eventually， I did find my way in love and work， but it took years and years. I got my first long-term job （as a professor） at 35， married at 36， and had my kids （twins） at 42.

When my research on how young people make their way to adulthood first began， the initial inspiration was my own odyssey. I was in my early 30s and thinking about how long it was taking me—and lots of my peers—to get there. But I have maintained my research focus on these 18- to 29-year-olds because I found they were so rewarding to talk to. I was to discover， however， that there were many others who didnt share my warm and benevolent views of emerging adults. Quite the contrary.

One of the most common insults about todays emerging adults is that theyre lazy. According to this view， young people are“slackers” who avoid work whenever possible， preferring to sponge off their parents for as long as they can get away with it. They expect work to be fun， and if its not fun， they refuse to do it.

Its true that emerging adults have high hopes for work， and even， yes， a sense of being entitled to enjoy their work. Ian， a 22-year-old， chose to go into journalism， even though he knew that： “If Im a journalist making $20，000 a year， my dad （a wealthy physician） makes vastly more than that.” More important than the money was finding a job that he could love.

So， yes， emerging adults today have high and often unrealistic expectations for work， but lazy？ Thats laughably false. While they look for their elusive dream job， they dont simply sit around and play video games and update their Facebook page all day. The great majority of them spend most of their twenties in a series of unglamorous， low-paying jobs as they search for something better. Its unfair to tar the many hard-working emerging adults with a stereotype that is true for only a small percentage of them.

Another widespread slur against emerging adults is that they are selfish. With this stereotype， too， there is a grain of truth that has been vastly overblown. Its probably true that most emerging adults today grow up with a higher level of selfesteem than in previous generations. Their Baby Boomer parents have been telling them from the cradle onward： “Youre special！” “You can be whatever you want to be！” “Dream big dreams！”and the like. Popular culture has reinforced these messages， in movies， television shows and songs. Well， they actually believed it.

But—and this is the key point—that doesnt mean theyre selfish. It simply means that they are highly confident in their abilities to make a good life for themselves， whatever obstacles they might face. For example， Nicole， 25， grew up in poverty as the oldest of four children in a household with a mentally disabled mother and no father. Her goals for her life have been repeatedly delayed or driven off track by her family responsibilities. Nevertheless， she is pursuing a college degree and is determined to reach her ultimate goal of getting a PhD. Her selfbelief is what has enabled her to overcome a chaotic childhood full of disadvantages.

As for the claim that they never want to grow up， its true that entering the full range of adult responsibilities comes later than it did before， in terms of completing education and entering marriage and parenthood. Many emerging adults are ambivalent about adulthood and in no hurry to get there.

Despite their ambivalence， by the age of 30， the great majority of emerging adults have a marriage partner， at least one child， and a stable long-term job. So， its not true that they never grow up. Most of them just dont want to take on the yoke of adult responsibilities in their early 20s. They want to make use of their freedom while they have the chance. Thats not contemptible， its wise， and we dont give them enough credit for their wisdom.

Despite all of this good news about the rising generation， an especially popular negative stereotype of emerging adults today is that they are worse than ever， far inferior to young people of a generation or two ago. There is a widespread belief in US society that young people are apathetic， irresponsible and immoral.

Oddly， this stereotype persists even though there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Rates of violent crime committed by young men are now less than half the level of the 1970s， 80s and early90s. Automobile fatalities have long been the main cause of death among young Americans in the late teens and early 20s， but rates have declined by almost half in the past 20 years.

Not only have bad things gone down， but good things about this generation have gone up. Nearly 90% of American college freshmen reported doing volunteer work in the past year， the highest level ever. Furthermore， applications to post-college volunteer programmes such as the Peace Corps， AmeriCorps， and Teach for America have reached record levels.

The origins of the many prejudices against todays emerging adults are complex， but maybe one key reason is that many of their elders still use old yardsticks to measure their progress. The pace of social， economic and technological change over the past half-century has been mind-boggling， and what is ‘normal among young people has changed so fast that the rest of society has not yet caught up.

我會(huì)欣然承認(rèn)——我花了很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間才真正長(zhǎng)大成人。1980年，我當(dāng)時(shí)23歲，剛從密歇根州立大學(xué)畢業(yè)。拿著新鮮出爐的心理學(xué)學(xué)士學(xué)位，我并不知道自己想做什么。幾年后，我進(jìn)入了心理學(xué)研究生院。但是，即使四年過后，我拿到了博士學(xué)位，我依舊不知道自己真正想做什么。最后，我確實(shí)找到了愛情與事業(yè)的方向，但這花了許多年的時(shí)間。35歲時(shí)，我獲得了第一份長(zhǎng)期工作（當(dāng)一名教授）；36歲時(shí)，我結(jié)了婚；而在42歲時(shí)，我有了自己的孩子（一對(duì)雙胞胎）。

當(dāng)我剛開始研究年輕人如何步入成人期這個(gè)課題時(shí)，我首先想到的就是我自己那漫長(zhǎng)的成長(zhǎng)之路。我那時(shí)三十出頭，思考著我——和我的許多同齡人花了多長(zhǎng)時(shí)間才長(zhǎng)大成人。但是我把我的研究對(duì)象定位在十八到二十九歲的年輕人身上，因?yàn)槲野l(fā)現(xiàn)他們身上有著許多值得講述的地方。然而，我發(fā)現(xiàn)，許多人并不認(rèn)同我對(duì)這些將立未立的年輕人抱有的善意友好的觀點(diǎn)，他們的態(tài)度恰恰與之背道而馳。

對(duì)現(xiàn)在這些將立未立的年輕人最常見的責(zé)難之一就是——他們很懶惰。根據(jù)這個(gè)觀點(diǎn)，年輕人都是“懶蟲”，只要有可能，他們就逃避工作，寧愿啃老，能熬多久是多久。他們希望工作是有趣的，如果沒意思，他們就拒絕工作。

確實(shí)，步入成人初期的年輕人對(duì)工作有著很高的期許，并且認(rèn)為，沒錯(cuò)，他們有資格享受工作的樂趣。伊恩，22歲，他選擇從事新聞工作，盡管他知道：“如果我當(dāng)一名年薪2萬的記者，那么我爸爸（一名富裕的醫(yī)生）賺的遠(yuǎn)超于我。”比錢更重要的是找一份他喜歡的工作。

所以，沒錯(cuò)，將立未立的年輕人確實(shí)對(duì)工作有著很高，而且經(jīng)常是不切實(shí)際的期許，但是——“懶惰”？那就錯(cuò)得離譜了。當(dāng)他們?cè)趯ふ夷切╇y以企及的夢(mèng)想工作的同時(shí)，他們并非整日游手好閑，打游戲和更新他們的臉書。在他們二十多歲的時(shí)候，當(dāng)他們?cè)趯ふ抑霉ぷ鞯耐瑫r(shí)，他們大多數(shù)都在從事著一系列單調(diào)乏味、薪酬低的工作。把他們當(dāng)中一小部分人的不良品行扣在努力工作的大部分年輕人身上是不公平的。

另一個(gè)廣為流傳的對(duì)這些將立未立的年輕人的詆毀就是——他們很自私。同樣地，由于這種刻板的成見，這其中的一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)真實(shí)成分也被極大地夸大了?，F(xiàn)在大多數(shù)的年輕人比他們的老一輩有著更高的自尊心，這點(diǎn)也許沒錯(cuò)。自襁褓時(shí)起，他們“嬰兒潮”一代的父母就告訴他們：“你是特別的！”“你能成為任何你想成為的人！”“要懷有遠(yuǎn)大的夢(mèng)想”，諸如此類。在電影里、電視節(jié)目里以及歌曲里，流行文化更是強(qiáng)化了這些信息。嗯，他們真的相信了。

但是，這并不意味著他們就很自私，這點(diǎn)至關(guān)重要。這僅僅說明他們十分自信無論遇到任何困難，他們都有能力創(chuàng)造美好的生活。舉個(gè)例子，妮可兒，25歲，家境貧寒，家里有個(gè)精神失常的母親，沒有父親，她是四個(gè)孩子中的老大。她的人生目標(biāo)曾多次被她的家庭責(zé)任所耽誤或因此而偏離正軌。盡管如此，她正在努力攻讀大學(xué)學(xué)位，并且決心達(dá)到她的最終目標(biāo)——拿到一個(gè)博士學(xué)位。正是她的這份自信，才使她能夠順利度過她那困難重重又混亂無序的童年生活。

至于他們永遠(yuǎn)也不想長(zhǎng)大這一論斷，確實(shí)，就完成學(xué)業(yè)、步入婚姻、生兒育女的時(shí)間而言，現(xiàn)在的年輕人承擔(dān)起這些成人責(zé)任的時(shí)間確實(shí)比過去要晚。許多及冠未立的年輕人對(duì)于成家立業(yè)有所猶豫，并不急于成家。

盡管他們有所猶豫，但是等他們到了三十歲，他們大多數(shù)人都會(huì)有婚姻伴侶，至少一個(gè)孩子，以及一份穩(wěn)定的長(zhǎng)期工作。所以，說他們永遠(yuǎn)也長(zhǎng)不大是不對(duì)的。他們大多數(shù)人只是不想在二十出頭就戴上成人責(zé)任的枷鎖罷了。他們想要在還有機(jī)會(huì)的時(shí)候享受自由。這沒有什么不齒于人的，反而充滿智慧，而我們并沒有對(duì)他們的智慧給予足夠的贊賞。

即使關(guān)于年輕一代的好消息如此之多，社會(huì)上還是對(duì)今天的年輕人有一種普遍流行的負(fù)面印象——他們是有史以來最槽糕的一代，遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)比不上前一代或前兩代的年輕人。美國(guó)社會(huì)普遍認(rèn)為現(xiàn)在年輕人冷漠無情、不負(fù)責(zé)任、道德敗壞。

奇怪的是，盡管有充分的證據(jù)說明事實(shí)恰恰相反，這種成見還是一直存在?，F(xiàn)在年輕人的暴力犯罪率不到上世紀(jì)七、八十年代以及九十年代初期的一半。長(zhǎng)久以來，車禍一直是導(dǎo)致二十歲左右的美國(guó)年輕人死亡的主要原因。但是，在過去二十年間，這個(gè)比率已經(jīng)下降了近一半。

關(guān)于這一代年輕人，不僅是壞事少了，好事也多了。據(jù)報(bào)告，在過去一年，有將近90%的美國(guó)大學(xué)新生有參加志愿者工作——有史以來的最高值。此外，申請(qǐng)參加大學(xué)畢業(yè)生志愿者項(xiàng)目——比如“和平隊(duì)”、“美國(guó)志愿者隊(duì)”，以及“為教而生”——的人數(shù)也達(dá)到了歷史最高值。

對(duì)現(xiàn)在的年輕人持有的種種偏見的根源十分復(fù)雜，但是也許一個(gè)關(guān)鍵的原因在于許多老一輩的人仍然在用著陳舊的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來衡量現(xiàn)在年輕人的成長(zhǎng)。過去半個(gè)世紀(jì)以來，社會(huì)、經(jīng)濟(jì)、技術(shù)發(fā)生了讓人難以置信的變化，而年輕人對(duì)于什么才是“正常”的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)變得如此之快以致社會(huì)上的其他人還沒能跟上。