By Yi Bei

My great-grandma always had a love affair with Stewed Crab and Pork Meatballs. She longed for the dish when she was in her 70s and 80s, and even into her 90s.

M a n y y e a r s a g o, m y grandparents moved to Anhui Province for work. Being a native of Yangzhou and very attached to her hometown, Great-grandma did not really want to move away,yet she had no choice but to go with her son and daughter-in-law.She attended school when she was little, and so was literate.

Grandma had six children whom my great-grandma helped raise. Later, my grandpa died in a traffic accident and the two women lived together for decades.

Grandma was not exactly endowed with much of a gift for all things culinary, and only started learning to cook Anhui cuisine when she moved to the area.Great-grandma never cared much for her cooking, complaining that it was too greasy and salty.

For years, Stewed Crab and Pork Meatballs was a must at our family gatherings. We took turns playing host and making the dish to please Great-grandma, or to ease Grandma’s burden of having to slave over a hot stove making the dish. Yet our recipe could never satisfy her. More often than not, Great-grandma would only take a few bites and then gently put the bowl aside.

Her 90th birthday just so happened to coincide with Dragon Boat Festival. After dinner, she relaxed in her wicker chair while I sat beside her, playing with her wrinkled hands. Suddenly, a question popped into my head,“What kind of meatball is your favorite?” She squinted, and leaned comfortably on the back of the chair. Gazing at the blue sky,she replied leisurely in her thick Yangzhou accent.

“When I was fifteen, I was a tailor’s apprentice. A young man who was a few years older than me worked in a restaurant opposite to the shop I worked at asked me out several times, but I never gave him the time of day. But he was very persistent. The other girls in the shop advised him to bring me a bowl of Stewed Crab and Pork Meatballs if he really wanted to woo me. The young man said, ‘I cannot bring it to her, but I can make it for her if she comes to our kitchen.

I was innocent then and fond of eating so much that I couldn’t resist going with him to the kitchen.

I remember the middle of autumn when he went to pick out the small crabs, each weighing around 100 grams. He took them back to the kitchen, cooked them thoroughly and scooped the meat out of the female crabs. After that,he removed the unwanted parts,broke the crabs apart and plucked the meat out of the crab legs with his chopsticks.

老太總說想吃蟹粉獅子頭。七十多歲的時候提，八十多歲提，到了九十歲了，還一直念叨。

老太是揚州人。當年姥爺姥姥因為工作原因來到安徽，她沒辦法，只好跟著兒子媳婦走。老太讀過書，識字。

姥姥生了六個孩子，老太也就幫著帶了六個。后來姥爺出車禍死了，老太跟著媳婦一起過，一過就是幾十年。

姥姥原本不太會做菜，來到安徽后現(xiàn)學，結(jié)果大油大鹽，老太一直不太喜歡。

多少年了，逢家族聚會，必做的一道菜便是蟹粉獅子頭，家家輪流，誰也跑不掉，是為討一下老太的歡心，也是幫姥姥解圍。結(jié)果做來做去，老太大多嘗幾口，便放下筷子。

老太九十歲時逢端午。飯后，她坐在藤椅里，我坐在她旁邊，有一搭沒一搭地捏著她手背上的老皮。突然，我莫名其妙地問一句：到底什么樣的獅子頭才好？老太眼瞇成一條縫，頭還是靠在藤椅背上，眼前是赤白的天，她拖著揚州口音，慢慢吞吞地跟我說。

十五歲的時候，我在裁縫店里學做衣服。對面是個飯館，里面有個小伙計，比我大個歲把，老來找，我不理，他還找。店里的小姊妹促狹，說你找秀英可以，得端一碗蟹粉獅子頭來。小伙計說端是端不出來的，但可以請我去伙房，現(xiàn)場做。

我年輕，好吃，真去了。

我記得當時用的都是小螃蟹，一斤四五個，煮熟，然后開始拆蟹粉。是秋天，揀的都是母的，蟹黃又紅又硬，蓋子掀開，用筷子挑出來。然后去掉蟹百葉和蟹臍，掰成兩半，筷子剔除蟹肉，腿上的肉用筷子通一下就可以。

肉是要用五花肉，肥的多一點，瘦的少一點，剁碎，石榴子大小。小伙子剁的時候很賣力，然后把肥的瘦的和蟹粉拌在一起，再雜七雜八用了些調(diào)料。

小伙子怕我嫌熱，讓我出去站，我說沒關(guān)系，我就那么站著看。他從大鍋里撈出老湯，然后用砂鍋煮，砂鍋里一定要放青菜。都弄好了，就燉在小火上。我們就在廚房后面的過道里說話。我要送他一條汗衫子，他不要，后來廚房里來了個人，他就叫我回去等會兒，過后直接來伙房吃就行。

我在裁衣服，聽到有人叫我，差點裁壞。我丟下剪子，跑去吃獅子頭。吃到嘴里就不見了，好軟好鮮……后來打仗了，小伙計被抓丁當兵去了，不見了。

我再沒吃過那么好吃的獅子頭。

老太九十三歲時，我請來個揚州老家的朋友，廚藝很不錯，特地為她做蟹粉獅子頭。老太吃了，說不錯不錯。四個獅子頭，她只吃了半個。

老太一直活到九十六歲，她到底沒吃到那個味的蟹粉獅子頭。

誰知道呢？那年秋天，那個人，那種滋味，像老電影一樣永遠定格，再也回不去?！簦ㄕ浴稇雅f食堂》石油工業(yè)出版社）

To make the dish the right way,the pork should be marbled, with more fat and less lean meat. It should be chopped into the size of pomegranate seeds. He worked very carefully blending the crab and pork together and finally adding a sprinkling of aromatic seasonings.

He asked me to wait outside the kitchen, saying it was too hot in the kitchen. But I refused. I stood there watching him as he worked his magic. He then scooped out the stew from a huge pot with a ladle, pouring it into a small clay pot filled with vegetables. After putting the other ingredients inside the pot, it needed a few hours to simmer. So we just sat there talking up a storm in the corridor behind the kitchen as we waited. I wanted to give him a vest as a gift, but he declined. Later a man came to the kitchen and he asked me to return to the shop and come back when it was ready.

I was cutting a cloth absentmindedly when I heard someone calling me. The cloth was almost ruined. I left my scissors behind and rushed into the kitchen to taste his masterpiece.

The meatballs were so soft and delicate; they just melted in my mouth. Soon after, the war broke out. The young man became a soldier and I have never heard from him again.

I have never eaten any meatballs as good as those ones since.”

I invited a friend from Yangzhou who was a good chef to make Great-grandma some Stewed Crab and Pork Meatballs for her 93rd birthday. Though she had high praise for the chef,complimenting him on the flavor,she finished only a half of one meatball out of the four she was given.

Great-grandma passed away at the age of 96. Eventually she never got a chance to taste again the meatballs like the ones that young man made for her that day.

That autumn, the young man and the taste were stuck in her mind like an old movie on a long theatrical run, but the flavor and the feeling were never to return again.◆

(From The Nostalgia Canteen,Petroleum Industry Press.Translation: Yu Lan)