文/Someone Magical 譯/Vera641 繪/馬豆子

愛(ài)在黎明破曉時(shí)

文/Someone Magical 譯/Vera641 繪/馬豆子

Every morning， at precisely①precisely 英 ［pr?'sa?sl?］ 美 ［pr?'sa?sli］ adv. 精確地；恰恰3:00AM， she came to my doorstep in the same beige②beige 英 ［be??； be?d?］ 美 ［be?］ n. 米黃色adj. 淺褐色的；米黃色的-gray T-shirt and torn drab running shorts.

She often called me from her cell， begging me to come over after class. After a while I got the idea that she wasn't allowed to be seeing me. But she was going against her parents.

They thought she was single. Inconscient. But she was more than a drab， blank piece of paper balancing on the table， just waiting to be filled. Waiting for her story to be written for her.

But that's not my girl.

The first time she came， dressed in her dirty rags， I was repulsed③repulse 英 ［r?'p?ls］ 美 ［r?'p?ls］ vt. 拒絕；驅(qū)逐；憎惡 n. 拒絕；擊退. Often poor girls never strayed passed the golden gates.

She held her hand out to me and said， "Want to run？"

I didn't know what I was getting into. I felt like it was secret code for a date， like the poor girls had no idea how to ask someone out.

每天早晨，嚴(yán)格意義上說(shuō)是每天凌晨3點(diǎn)，那個(gè)總是穿著米灰色T恤、土褐色破洞運(yùn)動(dòng)短褲的女孩會(huì)出現(xiàn)在我家門(mén)口。

她經(jīng)常打電話給我，讓我下課與她順路一起走。過(guò)了幾天我才知道，她家里人不許她去看我，但是她一直和她父母對(duì)著干。

他們認(rèn)為她總是形單影只，并且有些遲鈍。但我知道，她其實(shí)只是一張放在桌子上的單調(diào)白紙，等待屬于她的色彩，也在等待只屬于她一個(gè)人的故事。

我也知道，她并不屬于我。

當(dāng)她穿著破舊的衣服第一次出現(xiàn)的時(shí)候，我的內(nèi)心對(duì)她是排斥的。通常貧窮的女孩從來(lái)不會(huì)散步到金色大門(mén)里來(lái)。

But I was way， way off.

"Sure，" I replied. I glanced back into the house， making sure Mom hadn't woken up yet. She usually started making breakfast around four.

After getting changed， we set off. Running passed the sun， we made our way past the local California smoothly shop， past the waving palm trees.

We stopped at the beach.

I never realized how good a runner she was. I'd focused mostly on the ugly dirt stains④stain 英 ［ste?n］ 美 ［sten］ vi. 污染；被染污n. 污點(diǎn)；瑕疵；著色劑on her shirt， or the long， ugly scars running down her arm.

Ever since then， I made it my goal to make her my girlfriend.

I had several at the time. Each was beautiful，rich， and smart. Each was a perfect match. But she was more than beautiful.

Someday I would have her as my own. But that could benched happen. Not with the denial⑤denial 英 ［d?'na?（?）l］ 美 ［d?'na??l］ n. 否認(rèn)；拒絕；節(jié)制；背棄of her parents. Not with the curse of mine.

She still seemed to always appear， to find me when I least expected it. Some days， when my mother dragged me grocery shopping， there she would be， with her brothers and sisters crowding around a single cart， waiting to get the first can of beans or frozen spaghetti⑥spaghetti 英 ［sp?'ɡet?］ 美 ［sp?'ɡ?ti］ n. 意大利式細(xì)面條and have it as their own. And my family， only two children， with mounds of all natural， healthy foods compiled up to the top of our polished cart.

This food should have been theirs.

But sometimes God curses the good people and gives the evil power.

She still sees me.

She knew I loved her. But I just didn't know how to say it.

她向我伸出了手，問(wèn)我：“你想去跑步嗎？”

我不知道自己是如何陷入其中的。我感覺(jué)這是開(kāi)啟一場(chǎng)約會(huì)的暗號(hào)，因?yàn)樨毟F的女孩們不知道如何去追求心上人。

但是我可能錯(cuò)得有點(diǎn)兒離譜。

“當(dāng)然可以?！蔽掖鸬?。我往后審視了一下房間，確保媽媽還沒(méi)有起床。她通常在4點(diǎn)做早飯。

換好衣服以后，我們就出發(fā)了。我們奔跑著，太陽(yáng)被我們甩在了身后，我們跑過(guò)了加利福尼亞的商店，跑過(guò)了搖曳的棕櫚樹(shù)。

我們?cè)谏碁┣巴Ｗ×四_步。

我從來(lái)不知道原來(lái)她這么擅長(zhǎng)跑步。大多數(shù)時(shí)間，我從她身上注意到的都是丑陋的、骯臟的T恤或者是布滿她手臂的長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)的難看的疤痕。

就是這個(gè)時(shí)刻，我為自己定下了個(gè)目標(biāo)——我要讓她成為我的女朋友。

曾經(jīng)，我有過(guò)好幾個(gè)女朋友。每一個(gè)都很漂亮、有錢(qián)，同時(shí)也很聰明。每一個(gè)在外人看來(lái)都和我門(mén)當(dāng)戶對(duì)。但是在她身上，你能看到的不是美貌那么膚淺的東西。

未來(lái)的某一天，如果她真的成為我的女朋友就好了。但是這個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)真的是微乎其微。這阻力不僅僅來(lái)自她的父母，也不僅僅是因?yàn)槲易陨硭鶐У脑{咒。

她仍然會(huì)在不經(jīng)意間出現(xiàn)，在我?guī)缀醪幌嘈潘€會(huì)出現(xiàn)的時(shí)候找到我。有一天，當(dāng)我媽媽正拖著我在雜貨店購(gòu)物的時(shí)候，她也在，她正帶著她的弟弟妹妹們推著一輛車(chē)，等待著拿到那個(gè)第一份豆子罐頭或是冷凍的意大利面。然而我的家里，算上我只有兩個(gè)孩子，我們有好多新鮮、健康的食物，而這些食物每次都堆滿我們的購(gòu)物車(chē)。

這樣的食物理應(yīng)屬于他們。

但是有時(shí)，上帝會(huì)讓善良的人受苦，讓惡人擁有力量。

她仍然來(lái)看我。

她知道我愛(ài)她，但是我仍然不知如何開(kāi)口說(shuō)“愛(ài)”這個(gè)字。

Love at First Light