文/Karen Ann Kennedy 繪/花步

害怕被吐槽？那就別再吐槽別人了

Stop Judging Anyone Else

文/Karen Ann Kennedy 繪/花步

About a month ago， I thought I would try to go a whole day without judging anyone else I encountered. Have any of you ever tried it？ It's incredibly①incredibly英 ［?n'kred?bl?］ 美 ［?n'kr?d?bli］ adv. 難以置信地；非常地hard.

There was the woman walking down the street blowing cigarette smoke in her kid's face； the guy at the beach wearing his bright yellow banana hammock②hammock 英 ［'h?m?k］ 美 ［'h?m?k］ n. 吊床；吊鋪；吊帶 vt. 睡吊床； and the woman at the grocery store with 30 items in the 15-items-orless line.

My challenge of going a whole day without judging actually turned into an exercise that said less about the people around me and more about myself； it caused me to start examining myself.

I wonder if sometimes we fear the way others respond to us because the way they treat us is a mirror of the way we ourselves behave. Maybe that's why we notice certain attributes③attribute英 ［?'tr?bju?t］ 美 ［?'tr?bjut］ n. 屬性；特質(zhì) vt. 歸屬；把……歸于in others， and maybe that's why those attributes can get under our skin. Perhaps it's because deep down we identify with these behaviors that rub④rub 英 ［r?b］ 美 ［r?b］ vt. 擦；摩擦；惹怒 vi. 擦；摩擦；擦破 n. 摩擦；障礙；磨損處us the wrong way.

D u r i n g my day of no judgment， I tried hard to focus my thoughts inward， so as not to be tempted to judge. And while I was taking a good hard look at myself， I realized that my fear of being judged came from my own tendency to judge.

"Look at her shoes； I can't believe she wore that dress； check out that guy's hair." Maybe it's just human nature to do this， but once I became conscious of the habit， I realized how often I do it， which brought up the milliondollar question： "Who am I to judge？" No one， that's who!

大約一個(gè)月前的一天，我突然想要嘗試堅(jiān)持一天不去評(píng)判任何人。有人試過(guò)這么做嗎？真的很難。

一位女士在街上走著，噴了一口煙在她孩子的臉上；沙灘上，一位男子躺在香蕉形大吊床上；雜貨店的某個(gè)女人帶著三十多件商品卻跑去“15件以下”的隊(duì)伍結(jié)賬……

堅(jiān)持一天不去評(píng)判別人，這項(xiàng)挑戰(zhàn)到后來(lái)更像是一種練習(xí)，鍛煉我少說(shuō)閑話，多關(guān)注自己。它讓我開始審視我自己。

我很好奇，是不是有時(shí)我們害怕別人對(duì)待自己的態(tài)度是因?yàn)檫@恰好映射出了我們的行為。也許，這也是為什么我們會(huì)對(duì)別人身上某些特質(zhì)特別敏感、特別抓狂。

在沒(méi)有了評(píng)判的一整天中，我試著關(guān)注自己的內(nèi)心，這樣就不會(huì)有對(duì)人指手畫腳的想法了。然而當(dāng)我好好反省自己的時(shí)候，我認(rèn)識(shí)到，我對(duì)外界評(píng)判的恐懼竟然來(lái)源于自己評(píng)判別人的習(xí)慣。

“看她那雙鞋??！”“這種裙子她也敢穿出來(lái)？”“看那男人的發(fā)型。”也許這些都是人之本性，而一旦我注意到這一習(xí)慣，就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)它有多頻繁。接著關(guān)鍵問(wèn)題就來(lái)了：“我有什么資格去評(píng)判？”答案就是：沒(méi)有！