朱章丹

“開放式”作文的命題形式給同學(xué)們很大的自由發(fā)揮空間，對(duì)寫作的布局謀篇提出了較高的要求，要求同學(xué)們既要會(huì)發(fā)表觀點(diǎn)，又要會(huì)進(jìn)行描寫敘述。這種題材要求采用三段式成文，即第一段引出話題，第二段舉例說明，第三段得出結(jié)論。并且要熟練掌握一些語法規(guī)則和句型變換，恰到好處的用詞，這些都把握好了會(huì)使文章增色不少。下面來看看這個(gè)實(shí)例。

題目：請(qǐng)根據(jù)以下提示，結(jié)合你生活中的一個(gè)事例用英語寫一篇短文

We all know that “chances favor the prepared mind. Only if you are well prepared， will you be able to seize them.

注意：1. 無須寫標(biāo)題，不得照抄英語提示語。

2. 除詩歌外，文體不限。

3.字?jǐn)?shù)為120。

習(xí)作一

As is widely acknowledged， preparation is to us what ambition is to success， I learned this from one of my experience during my middle school life.

When it comes to it， my memories come flooding into my mind. One day， what surprised me most was that I failed my first English test for English is my favorite and advantage. I was so frustrated that I almost accepted the fact that I would never learn it well. Luckily， it was my fathers encouragement and advice helped me to prepare for the difficulty in my life. Then I was determined to devote myself to preparing fully for the English an finishing the task given by teacher more patiently. Finally， it wasnt long before English again became my favorite and advantage.

So from my own experience， Im definitely convinced that you will always be successful when you are fully prepared. And only if you are well prepared， will you be able to catch the chances.

點(diǎn)評(píng) 這篇作文屬于五檔作文，得分27分。

文章具有較強(qiáng)的語言運(yùn)用能力，表述準(zhǔn)確，行文流暢，邏輯性強(qiáng)，雖然有個(gè)別小錯(cuò)誤，但不影響意義的表達(dá)。文章中所舉的例子很好地體現(xiàn)了主題，使得文章結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊安排合理。開頭第一段使用了A is to B what C is to D這個(gè)句型，第二段使用了以下句型：when it comes to...， so...that...， it was...that...，it wasnt long before...，另外還有主語從句what surprised me most was that...， 同位語從軍 I almost accepted the fact that I would ...，第三段點(diǎn)題肯定了chances favor the prepared mind，并在文章結(jié)尾使用了倒裝結(jié)構(gòu)only if you are well prepared， will you be...通篇文章恰當(dāng)?shù)氖褂昧藦?fù)雜句式和語法，高級(jí)詞匯和短語，令文章語言豐富，內(nèi)容嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)。對(duì)此可看出該生有很好的功底。

習(xí)作二

As someone puts it， “chances favor the prepared mind”. Faced with the equal chances， not everyone can seize the opportunity， It belongs to the person who is prepared well. I learned this from one of my experiences during primary school life.

I took part in a competition as many students around me did， in order to be admitted to a key high school. Because of my good study， I didnt make any preparations even the day before the competition. Looking at the students around me studying hard， I wasnt anxious about it at all. Certainly， I didnt do well in it but the students around me succeeded. Obviously， it is my ignorance that led to such consequence. I should have studied hard and prepared as they did.endprint

Not until then did I realize that nothing can be achieved without preparation. I am definitely convinced that chances belong to the people who are well prepared.

點(diǎn)評(píng) 這篇作文屬于四檔作文，22分。

首先從段落層次上來看，也是個(gè)三段式文章：主題―舉例―強(qiáng)調(diào)主題。層次清晰，行文較流暢。例如文章開頭as someone puts it 用得很好，第二段第一句如果改為“In order to be admitted to a key high school， I took part in a competition...”不定式作目的狀語位于句首，再就是主句，這樣文章讀起來更通順。第二句“Because of my good study...”改為“ on account of the fact that I am a top a student in our class”就更好了，后面這個(gè)句子既使用了高級(jí)詞匯還使用了同位語從句；后面那句“Looking at the students around me studying hard...”，連續(xù)使用了兩次非謂語，looking和studying如改為“l(fā)ooking at the students who are studying hard around me”改成定語從句避免重復(fù)使用非謂語，這樣是不是要顯得句式靈活通俗易懂些呢？第二段最后一句雖然用到了強(qiáng)調(diào)句型，但是前后時(shí)態(tài)又不一致，當(dāng)然這是個(gè)小語法錯(cuò)誤，但從整體上讀起來感覺不夠流暢，所以只能歸入第四檔。

綜上所述，同學(xué)們寫這樣的開放性作文是要結(jié)合一個(gè)例子來寫一個(gè)話題，這種作文一般采取議論，記敘，再總結(jié)議論的形式。因此同學(xué)們?cè)谶x取話題的時(shí)候一定要與自己的校園生活有關(guān)，話題符合生活實(shí)際，要有話可說，同時(shí)還要注意使用高級(jí)詞匯和靈活變換的語法句。當(dāng)然，書面表達(dá)能力的培養(yǎng)重在平時(shí)，絕非一朝一夕之功，要使自己的文章出彩，需要在長(zhǎng)期的語言學(xué)習(xí)過程中打好語法與詞匯運(yùn)用的基礎(chǔ)，通過廣泛閱讀，注重積累，切實(shí)提高語言表達(dá)能力，堅(jiān)持練習(xí)才是唯一出路。合理安排，仔細(xì)閱讀，保證短文緊扣提示，內(nèi)容完整連貫，語言表達(dá)盡可能準(zhǔn)確得體，一定可以寫出佳作。

范文欣賞

There is no denying that we are eager for golden chances to be successful in life. However， many people are not aware that chances are always for those who get well prepared. I didnt realize it until I went to high school.

Soon after I became senior one student， a singing competition was to be held in school. I love singing but I was very shy then and had never sung at the top of my voice in public. I could only sing to myself most of the time. Somehow， I wanted to have a try. When I talked about it with my parents， they inspired me to follow my inner voice and told me as long as I got well prepared， I would make it. With their encouragement， I became confident and practiced hard after class. Sometimes， I would turn to my music teacher for help. When I felt I was ready， the day came. Standing on the stage， I took a deep breath and began to sing with my full emotions. It turned out that I won the first prize.

This experience has taught me a precious lesson in my life. If you are not successful yet， most probably you havent been well prepared. Once you have， chances will surely favor you.endprint