李池紅

學(xué)校的生活是豐富多彩的，同學(xué)們每天都會參予各種活動。那么，你的校園生活是什么樣的呢？下面就請你以自己的校園生活為主題寫一篇作文。要求：60~80詞左右。

My School Life

Every day, I get up at 6:10. I have breakfast at 6:20. Then I go to school on foot.

My schoolstartat 6:45. I like English best. Because I like my English teacher very much. She is Miss Yu. Her full name isYu Xiu Rong. She is tall and smart. I study maths well. I oftenhalpmy friends. I like PEvery muchtoo. We play football. We are happy. After class, we play games. They are fun.

My schoollife endat 4:40. My school life isfun.

老師說：這位同學(xué)描述了自己一天的校園生活。我們來分析一下他的作文。首先start應(yīng)該加s，學(xué)校是一個整體，應(yīng)該用第三人稱單數(shù)形式；Yu Xiu Rong是他老師的名字，姓的第一個字母需要大寫，名的所有詞要放在一起，而且首字母要大寫，應(yīng)改為Yu Xiurong；halp應(yīng)該是“幫助”，屬于單詞書寫錯誤，應(yīng)為help; I like PE very much too.這句話沒有語法錯誤，不過too與very much表示的意思在這里有些相近，而且very much在前面的句子中出現(xiàn)過，在英語中應(yīng)該盡量避免重復(fù)使用一個詞語，可以把very much去掉； 學(xué)校放學(xué)直接用My school ends就可以；通過前面的敘述可以看出作者在學(xué)校的生活豐富多彩，所以可以說成interesting，比fun表達(dá)得更具體。

這樣作文看起來就舒服多了。下面是修改后的文章。

My School Life

Every day, I get up at 6:10. I have breakfast at 6:20. Then I go to school on foot.

My school starts at 6:45. I like English best. Because I like my English teacher very much. She is Miss Yu. Her full name is Yu Xiurong. She is tall and smart. I study maths well. I often help my friends with their maths. I like PE too. We play football on the playground. We are happy. After class, we play games. They are fun.

My school ends at 4:40. How interesting my school life is!