王思

【問題導(dǎo)讀】

讀后續(xù)寫要求考生在語(yǔ)言輸出的過程中做到“模仿語(yǔ)言，創(chuàng)造內(nèi)容”，利用前文提供的語(yǔ)境，伴隨語(yǔ)篇情境，在確保內(nèi)容合乎邏輯的前提下續(xù)寫下文。一篇好的續(xù)寫文章，不僅需要豐富的內(nèi)容、巧妙的構(gòu)思和形象的表達(dá)，還需要把這些內(nèi)容聯(lián)系起來的語(yǔ)篇銜接手段。銜接是一種能使上下文之間取得連接與過渡的寫作技法，能使文章保持意義的連貫、文句的流暢和行文的變化。

【名師導(dǎo)學(xué)】

讀后續(xù)寫的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)主要涵蓋內(nèi)容、語(yǔ)言表達(dá)和篇章結(jié)構(gòu)三方面，其中篇章結(jié)構(gòu)主要包括上下文的銜接和全文的連貫性?！镀胀ǜ咧杏⒄Z(yǔ)課程標(biāo)準(zhǔn)（2017 年版2020年修訂）》要求學(xué)生能“根據(jù)交流的需要選擇恰當(dāng)?shù)恼Z(yǔ)篇類型、設(shè)計(jì)合理的語(yǔ)篇結(jié)構(gòu)、規(guī)劃語(yǔ)篇的組成部分、保持語(yǔ)篇的銜接性和連貫性”。銜接是將篇章中的句子連接成一個(gè)整體，從而創(chuàng)造連貫的重要手段。讀后續(xù)寫中的銜接主要通過語(yǔ)法和詞匯手段來實(shí)現(xiàn)，具體為照應(yīng)、替代、省略、連接詞和詞匯銜接。

1.照應(yīng)指用代詞等語(yǔ)法手段來表示語(yǔ)義關(guān)系，即在語(yǔ)篇中某個(gè)名詞或概念第二次或重復(fù)出現(xiàn)時(shí)應(yīng)使用恰當(dāng)?shù)拇~或其他成分來替代。英語(yǔ)中的照應(yīng)主要分為三類：人稱照應(yīng)、指示照應(yīng)、比較照應(yīng)。

2.替代指用其他詞代替上文提及的內(nèi)容，這樣可以避免重復(fù)，達(dá)到語(yǔ)言凝練、語(yǔ)句連貫的目的。替代包括名詞性替代（如one、ones、some 等）、動(dòng)詞性替代（如do、does、did、doing、done等）和從句性替代（如so、not 等）。

3.省略的作用同替代相似。省略可以使上下語(yǔ)義聯(lián)系緊密，強(qiáng)調(diào)作者要表達(dá)的中心思想。省略大致分為三類：名詞性省略、動(dòng)詞性省略、分句性省略。

4.連接詞指能把兩個(gè)或多個(gè)短句銜接起來的表達(dá)一定邏輯關(guān)系的詞。根據(jù)它們表示的關(guān)系可以分為四大類：增補(bǔ)（如and、also、too、furthermore等）、轉(zhuǎn)折或?qū)Ρ龋ㄈ鏱ut、yet、still、nevertheless、though、while、however等）、原因或結(jié)果（如because、for、as、since等）和時(shí)間（如first、second、third等）。

5.詞匯銜接指在銜接紐帶的一端出現(xiàn)一個(gè)項(xiàng)目后，另一端被相同或相近意義的詞匯所占據(jù)。詞匯銜接手段是作者通過詞匯的選擇與復(fù)現(xiàn)得以實(shí)現(xiàn)的，選擇是前提，復(fù)現(xiàn)是手段。詞匯復(fù)現(xiàn)手段較易理解，指在語(yǔ)篇中詞與詞之間存在的原詞重復(fù)、同（近）義詞復(fù)現(xiàn)、反義詞復(fù)現(xiàn)、上下義詞復(fù)現(xiàn)、整體與部分關(guān)系和搭配關(guān)系。

【案例導(dǎo)引】

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

I met the Man of the Trees in summer ten years ago， when I was visiting Uncle Jita.

Those were difficult times. People were cutting down our forest， and there was oftenflooding. Sometimes our water supply was dirty. When our pump （泵） did have cleanwater， we had to wait in line for ages. When the pump wasn't working， we had to walk fivekilometres to the closest stream.

But I was happy. I was going to see my favorite uncle. When the day finally arrived，Dad drove me to Uncle Jita's house and left. Once he saw me， Uncle Jita announced，“ To?morrow we're going to explore a magical place. Here is my camera， Amy. You can take pho?tos of what you see.”

The following day， we woke up and left early on a boat. The trip was exciting. Butwhen we got off， there was nothing in front of us.“ I don't want to take pictures of this，” Icomplained.

Uncle laughed，“ Start walking， Amy. I promise you'll be surprised.” After some time， Icould see the outline of a forest in the distance. A little closer， there was a man waving tous.

“That's Kabir. The forest you see is his. He planted every single tree.” As we walkedtowards Kabir， Uncle explained that thirty years ago， the whole area was a wasteland. Butone day， Kabir decided to change all that and started planting trees. Thanks to him， part ofthe wasteland is now a paradise.

Uncle introduced me to Kabir， who had gray hair and a determined face.“ Jita told meyou like animals. Are you ready to see some？” he asked.“ Of course！” I replied. We conti?nued walking and soon were under the trees. I turned my head and was amazed at the differ?ence between the two places. All because of the efforts of one man.

Like Uncle said， Kabir's forest was magical. We saw deer， rhinos， and even tigers.During lunchtime， Kabir explained how， by planting trees， it was possible to stop the land?from eroding（ 侵蝕）.

注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Paragraph 1：

Hearing this， I turned to Uncle，“ I think we can plant trees too.”________________

Paragraph 2：

In the years that followed， people in our village worked hard to carry out our plan._________________

一、故事梳理

本文講述的是艾米于十年前的夏天到吉塔叔叔家度假時(shí)遇到了“種樹之人”的故事。那時(shí)，艾米所在的村莊環(huán)境堪憂，樹木遭到砍伐，凈水資源嚴(yán)重不足，村民用水非常不便，但艾米卻處在馬上要見到自己最喜歡的叔叔的興奮之中。艾米到叔叔家的第二天，叔叔帶她參觀了卡比爾花費(fèi)三十年時(shí)間親手種植的神奇森林。目睹卡比爾憑一人之力創(chuàng)造的“天堂”，聽他講述種樹如何防止水土流失，艾米馬上想到自己所在的村莊也可以通過種樹來改善環(huán)境。

二、常用銜接方法的應(yīng)用

（一）照應(yīng)

1. 人稱照應(yīng)：通過人稱代詞（如I、you、he、she、they、him、her、them等）、所屬限定詞（如your、his、her、their等）和所屬代詞（如mine、his、hers、theirs等）來實(shí)現(xiàn)。

續(xù)寫第一段，當(dāng)我們拿著照片去勸說村民種樹時(shí)，他們被森林的美所震驚?！癢hen Uncle and I went back to the village several days later and showed these wonderfulpictures to my neighbours， they were stunned by the beauty of the forest.”。這里，我們用人稱代詞they來指代前面提到的my neighbours。

2. 指示照應(yīng)：用于指示照應(yīng)的詞也可以分為名詞性指示詞this、that、these、those，定冠詞the，副詞性指示詞now、then這三類。

續(xù)寫第二段，通過全村人的共同努力，村里的環(huán)境發(fā)生了巨大的變化。多虧了村民種的樹，村里的水質(zhì)變好了，水的供給也穩(wěn)定了。“Thanks to the trees， the water hasbeen purified and we finally have a clean and stable water supply.”。因trees和water都在前面提到過，所以這里用了定冠詞the。

3. 比較照應(yīng)：使用一些有比較意義的形容詞或副詞的比較級(jí)表達(dá)連貫的語(yǔ)義（如same、as、so、equal、such、similarly、differently、other、otherwise、likewise等）。

續(xù)寫第二段，經(jīng)過村民們多年的努力，村里的環(huán)境發(fā)生了很大的改變。我們?cè)诶m(xù)寫的時(shí)候可以利用比較、照應(yīng)的手法來進(jìn)行銜接，對(duì)比種樹前后村里的環(huán)境變化。“With our joint efforts， our village now looks different， which is surrounded by small thri?ving forests with blooming flowers， lively animals and crystal?clear streams runningthrough.”。跟種樹前缺水、水臟的情況相反，現(xiàn)在村里有茂密的森林、盛開的鮮花、活潑的動(dòng)物和清澈的河流，這些東西也正好照應(yīng)了前文對(duì)卡比爾所種植的森林的描述。

（二）替代

根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段的首句，我們可以反推出續(xù)寫第一段的結(jié)尾：我們成功說服了村民實(shí)施我們的種樹計(jì)劃?！癢e then persuaded the villagers to carry out our tree?plantingplan， and they agreed to do so.”。這里，我們用so 來替代前面的carry out our tree?planting plan，避免了重復(fù)。

（三）省略

根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段的首句，我們知道村民們開始種樹，這跟原文第二段描述的People were cutting down our forest 相照應(yīng)。“Instead of cutting down the trees， we started?to plant， which has eventually helped protect the soil and stopped the land from eroding.”?！拔覀儭辈辉倏硺?，“我們”開始種（樹）。這里為了避免重復(fù)，我們省略了plant后面的the trees。

（四）連接詞

結(jié)合故事情節(jié)的發(fā)展，種樹給村里帶來了很多積極的影響。我們?cè)诶m(xù)寫時(shí)需要對(duì)這些積極的影響進(jìn)行詳細(xì)的描述，以突出種樹的重要性?！癐nstead of cutting downour forest， we started to plant trees， which has eventually helped protect the soil andstopped the land from eroding. Thanks to the trees， the water has also been purified and wefinally have a clean and stable water supply.”。這里用了and和also來體現(xiàn)種樹所帶來的一系列的好處，凸顯了人與自然應(yīng)該和平共處的主題。

（五）詞匯銜接

續(xù)寫第一段，為了說服村民們一起種樹，“我”決定拍照給村民看。“‘I've got aplan！ I'll show them the photos of Kabir's magical forest！ ... When Uncle and I went backto the village several days later and showed these wonderful pictures to my neighbours，they were stunned by the beauty of the forest.”。這里，photos 和pictures 屬于同義詞復(fù)現(xiàn)，這樣既避免了單詞的重復(fù)，又能使句子之間的聯(lián)系更緊密。同樣，續(xù)寫第二段，“Instead of cutting down our forest， we started to plant trees， which has eventually helpedprotect the soil and stopped the land from eroding.”。這個(gè)句子中的forest 和trees 也屬于此類銜接手法。

參考范文

Paragraph 1：

Hearing this， I turned to Uncle，“ I think we can plant trees too.” Grabbing the camerain my hand， I added with excitement.“ I've got a plan！ I'll show the villagers the photos ofKabir's magical forest！” Seeing Uncle and Kabir's encouraging smile， I immediately setdown to my work， busily pressing my shutter and capturing the amazing scenes in the for?est. When Uncle and I went back to the village several days later and showed these wonder?ful pictures to my neighbours， they were stunned by the beauty of the forest.“ It was thetrees that turned the place into a paradise！” We then persuaded the villagers to carry outour tree?planting plan， and they agreed to do so.

Paragraph 2：

In the years that followed， people in our village worked hard to carry out our plan. In?stead of cutting down our forest， we started to plant trees， which has eventually helped pro?tect the soil and stopped the land from eroding. Thanks to the trees， the water has also beenpurified and we finally have a clean and stable water supply. With our joint efforts， our vil?lage now looks different， which is surrounded by small thriving forests with blooming flow?ers， lively animals and crystal?clear streams running through. Witnessing the gradualchange of our village， we came to realize that only when we live in harmony with nature canwe have a brighter future.

【模擬導(dǎo)練】

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

It was lunch hour. Escaping from my office， I fled down Main Street in pursuit of free?dom from the routine of the day. An old bell clanged （叮當(dāng)作響） against the door of a dustyused bookstore when I pushed it open.

Looking through the horizon of shelves and lots of magazines， my eyes suddenly methis and my heart began to race. They were the blazing （閃爍） orange eyes of an African lionon the cover of a magazine. I hadn't seen those eyes in the past thirty years， but their im?pact on me hadn't faded. As a kid， I used to dream about Africa， living with wild animals.

The opportunity of spending a“ gap year” volunteering in Africa or joining the YouthCorps had long since passed. It was true that I couldn't go to Africa for several months， butmaybe I could volunteer in Africa for a few weeks.

Over the next several weeks， I began to budget and save， determined to make it hap?pen. The big day came. I arrived and met my boss， a young South African ranger （護(hù)林員）named Gary. He said，“ Let me guess， you're here because you dreamed of Africa.”

“Yes！” I smiled.

“Well， it's time to wake up. This is a working game reserve. These are wild animals.”

“Okay.”

“You're going to have to get out of your comfort zone and take some risks. You needthe courage of a lion.”

The next morning when we began our patrol （巡邏） in an open?air jeep， giant Africanelephants appeared in the morning mist. I was no longer dreaming in the pages of the maga?zine. I was living them.

Moments later， Gary parked the jeep and handed me a heavy shovel （鏟） and said，“Time to shovel dung （糞）.” Elephant dung. Mountains of it！ It will be used as fertilizer inthe reserves sustainable vegetable garden.

Within fifteen minutes， my back was aching， and my new work gloves were stretchedout and they were so slippery with dung and sweat that they refused to stay on my hands.This wasnt my dream of Africa.

注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Paragraph 1：

I began to question myself. ________________

Paragraph 2：

But at that moment I remembered Gary's words“ step out of your comfort zone”______________

【評(píng)價(jià)導(dǎo)思】

1. 你在續(xù)寫的時(shí)候是否運(yùn)用了銜接手段？使用了哪些銜接手段？

2. 除了前面提到的銜接手段，你還可以使用哪些銜接手段來使文章內(nèi)部的連貫程度得到提升？

3. 在平時(shí)的寫作訓(xùn)練中，你應(yīng)該如何合理運(yùn)用銜接手段，培養(yǎng)語(yǔ)篇連貫意識(shí)，提高續(xù)文的質(zhì)量？