廣東 聶凌云

【問題導(dǎo)讀】

讀后續(xù)寫的選材常傳遞正能量，涉及的話題頗為廣泛，我們在閱讀原文時，不但要找出文章的故事背景，而且要找到故事情節(jié)中的沖突或問題。故事中的沖突通常是故事的轉(zhuǎn)折點，也是最緊張或扣人心弦的一部分。矛盾沖突在敘事類讀后續(xù)寫中尤為重要，它的解決是推動故事情節(jié)發(fā)展的主要動力。我們可以通過矛盾沖突的設(shè)定和解決更好地發(fā)散思維，在構(gòu)思情節(jié)的時候做到既合情合理又妙趣橫生；同時，聯(lián)系原文已有的矛盾沖突以保證故事的完整性和連貫性。掌握矛盾沖突的主要形式也有利于我們在續(xù)寫中打開新的思路，增強寫好讀后續(xù)寫的能力以及語言綜合運用的能力。

【名師導(dǎo)學(xué)】

故事沖突是讀后續(xù)寫的靈魂與核心，推動著整個故事的發(fā)展。故事沖突或是故事的危機點，或是關(guān)鍵時刻和轉(zhuǎn)折點，推動著故事情節(jié)的發(fā)展。故事沖突包括兩種主要形式：一是外部沖突，包括人與人、人與周圍環(huán)境的矛盾；二是內(nèi)部沖突，指的是特定環(huán)境下人物自身的矛盾。沖突帶來緊迫感，將故事推向高潮。富有沖擊力的結(jié)局不僅讓主角成長，還讓沖突得到解決，更讓讀者回味無窮。故事沖突大致分為以下三個方面：

1.人與人的沖突：主要通過具有不同價值觀的人與人之間的沖突實現(xiàn)。

2.人與周圍環(huán)境的沖突：洪水、颶風(fēng)、野獸等來自大自然的威脅，作為人物角色必須克服的挑戰(zhàn)。（這個方面的沖突可以通過環(huán)境描寫來烘托人物形象，達到故事高潮）

3.人與自我的沖突：人的性格因素和內(nèi)心斗爭。

【案例導(dǎo)引】

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

Alice and her family went on a camping trip along the seaside.Upon arrival,Dad called for a meeting.He announced,“There are lots of jobs to be done.It's no fun on holiday if Mum and I do all the work,so I come up with this pocket money chart.In this way,everyone has to do something,and you must do your own jobs every day!If you do your jobs well,you get some extra pocket money!”

Looking at the chart,which had their names on it next to a list of jobs,the kids frowned (皺眉) at the idea.Unwillingly,they began to do their jobs.Alice washed up the dishes.Mike,the youngest brother,dried the dishes.Jeff,Alice's twin brother,took their dog for a walk.

The next day they went to the beach.After playing some time in the sea,they went to look for shells along the beach.Suddenly,Alice found a strange-looking rock.She picked it up and showed it to Dad.“You've found a fossil (化 石)! It was once a shellfish and has turned into a rock after millions of years!”Dad said happily.Greatly inspired,Alice continued her search and determined to find a better one,but she failed.Darkness fell,and Alice had to head back to the campsite with her family in disappointment.On the way back they stopped at a shop,where Alice spotted some amazing fossils! But soon she found they were too expensive!

Back at the camp,Alice was still thinking of the amazing fossils in the shop.Suddenly an idea occurred to her,“I'll do everyone's jobs and then I can get all the extra pocket money to buy a fossil!”The next morning,Alice offered to dry the dishes and walk the dog,which greatly pleased Mike and Jeff.But things didn't go as Alice planned.

注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

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When Dad saw Alice walking the dog,he was confused.

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Later that morning,Mike and Jeff approached Alice when they found she was unhappy.

一、梳理故事背景

本文講述了愛麗絲和她的家人在海邊露營，以及愛麗絲和她的兄弟們通過做一些工作來賺取零花錢的事情。這是一個關(guān)于規(guī)則和愛的故事。

二、原文的情節(jié)發(fā)展：線索和情緒

三、分析原文沖突

故事的沖突是愛麗絲在商店里發(fā)現(xiàn)了一些驚人但昂貴的化石，但是卻沒有足夠的錢。本文的沖突形式屬于外部沖突。這個沖突給愛麗絲帶來的影響是Alice offered to dry the dishes and walk the dog。

四、把握故事沖突

1.外部沖突：增加外部沖突是一種可以有效地達到故事高潮的方式。沖突帶來的緊迫感，將故事推向沖突的解決或崩塌。外部沖突的形式主要有人與人的沖突、人與周圍環(huán)境的沖突。

除了以上兩種外部沖突，我們還可以根據(jù)故事需要從增強時間緊急程度和增加額外障礙等角度來突出人物角色以及其必須克服困難才能達到的目標(biāo)。

2.內(nèi)部沖突：放大角色的內(nèi)心沖突（角色的內(nèi)心斗爭）或情感變化也有助于營造一個高度緊張和戲劇性的氛圍。

參考范文

Paragraph 1:

When Dad saw Alice walking the dog,he was confused.Obviously,he was not happy about this.When Alice came back,Dad asked why she was doing Jeff's jobs.Alice stuttered,“I...I just want to earn all the extra pocket money to buy that fossil in the shop.”“I'm sorry,Alice.I'm afraid you can't.You all have to do the jobs——not just you.The point is that we share the jobs,”Dad said.Hearing what Dad said,Alice was taken hold of by a surge of disappointment mixed with sadness.She thought it was unfair that Dad just ignored her hard work.Feeling the cold wind from the sea,her heart sank as the declining sun.

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Later that morning,Mike and Jeff approached Alice when they found she was unhappy.They presented a small box and urged her to open it.Alice was still gloomy about what happened yesterday.But seeing her two brothers'eyes twinkling with eagerness,she opened it.The moment she saw what was inside,Alice jumped up with joy.It was her brothers' extra pocket money,with which she could afford one of the fossils she dreamed about! She threw her arms around her brothers,tears welling up in her eyes.Jeff said,“Dad told us your plan.”Looking at Dad's smiling face under the fabulous blue sky,Alice realized that he was trying to tell her that rules are rules,but love between family members never fails.

【模擬導(dǎo)練】

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

I remember the first time I got on a horse.I was six years old and we were watching a friend of the family ride.My mom agreed to let me take a short ride with the friend and that was it!I was crazy about horses.From then on,I drove my parents to buy a horse.

When I was eight years old,I had selective mutism (緘默癥).This is a rare childhood disorder in which children stop speaking in certain social situations.I spoke normally to my parents,my brother and certain other people,but was silent at school and in social situations.I went days,weeks,months without a sound at school.

I suffered silently through school until I was ten years old when one in a long string of psychologists had an idea.One day I was asked by the psychologist what I wanted more than anything in the world.He explained that I was going to be given an opportunity to work for it.I couldn't believe my good luck,but I could not answer.Finally,I was permitted to whisper the answer in my mother's ear.“A horse”was all I could say.

I was to get a little horse,but I had to live up to my end of the bargain.I had a chart of weekly tasks I had to accomplish.I had to answer the phone five times per week,make five phone calls to my friends,say one word to my teacher at school and the list went on.For a child with selective mutism,saying one word to someone can be like climbing Mount Qomolangma.

I did everything that was asked of me and the day came when my parents found a local riding stable that had a perfect pony.His name was Sequoia,so perfect that I fell in love with him immediately.I boarded him and began taking lessons.It truly was a dream come true.

注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

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Each week I could not wait for Saturday and my lesson.

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As I see it,horses give me the strength I lack.

【評價導(dǎo)思】

1.請?zhí)崛≡那楣?jié)和人物設(shè)定。

2.請?zhí)崛≡闹械耐獠繘_突和內(nèi)部沖突。

3.請運用內(nèi)部沖突和外部沖突寫作，并對比你的文章和范文有哪些異同。