馬丁·蓋福德　鄧安兒/譯

In September 1889， Vincent van Gogh sent his brother Theo a new self-portrait from the mental hospital at Saint-Rémy-de-Provence. ‘You must look at it for some time， he instructed， then ‘youll see， I hope， that my physiognomy1 has grown much calmer， although the gaze may be vaguer than before， so it appears to me.

1889年9月，文森特·凡·高從法國普羅旺斯圣雷米的精神病院給弟弟提奧寄去一張新的自畫像。“你必須好好瞧瞧這幅畫，”他囑咐道，這樣“你就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)（我希望如此），我的臉顯得平靜多了，不過眼神可能比以前更散了，在我看來是這樣?！?/p>

Vincent was severely ill and was in the hospital to recover from his affliction2， the nature of which remains controversial. Yet he carried on creating marvellous pictures， including several of himself. One of the questions raised by Van Gogh. Self-Portraits， the wonderful exhibition at the Courtauld Gallery， is simple but fundamental： why？

那時(shí)文森特病得很重，在這所醫(yī)院療養(yǎng)，至于所患何病仍存在爭(zhēng)議。不過，他還是堅(jiān)持創(chuàng)作了一批非凡的畫作，其中就包括數(shù)張自畫像?？继盏旅佬g(shù)館曾舉辦一場(chǎng)名為“凡·高自畫像”的精彩展覽。這場(chǎng)展覽引人思考一系列問題，其中之一雖然簡(jiǎn)單，卻十分重要，那就是：為何要畫？

We take it as a given3 that artists depict themselves; but some never do， and others only rarely. Vincent produced roughly 35 images of himself between early 1886 and autumn 1889 （the precise number depends on how you define ‘self-portrait）， which averages almost ten a year.

人們都認(rèn)為畫家肯定會(huì)畫自己，但有些畫家從未如此，還有些畫家極少這么干。從1886年初至1889年秋天，文森特創(chuàng)作了大約35幅自畫像（具體是多少幅，要看你如何定義“自畫像”），平均下來，每年畫近10幅。

Collectively， they begin to provide some answers to that conundrum4： why did Van Gogh paint himself so much？

所有自畫像一同提供了答案，開始為我們解答難題：為何凡·高如此頻繁地畫自己？

The first and most mundanely5 practical is： because he was there. Vincents greatest ambition， clearly stated in his letters， was to paint people. But he had recurring difficulties finding models for two reasons： firstly， paying them cost money， of which he was always short; secondly， his disquieting6 manner apparently made many potential sitters7 nervous of spending time alone in his company. In Arles the locals seemed to have been afraid hed put the evil eye on them. But Van Gogh was always ready and willing to pose for himself.

第一個(gè)原因，也是最為普通的現(xiàn)實(shí)原因：他是現(xiàn)成的模特。文森特曾在信中明確表示，自己最大的追求是畫人。但他在找模特時(shí)一再遇到困難，原因有二：其一，他得付模特錢，而他總是缺錢；其二，他令人不安的舉止顯然讓許多潛在的模特人選感到焦慮，不愿與他單獨(dú)相處。在阿爾勒，當(dāng)?shù)厝怂坪醵己ε路病じ咴谧鳟嫊r(shí)用可怕的目光盯著自己，而凡·高自己則隨時(shí)都能且愿意為自己擺姿勢(shì)。

This helps to explain the abundance of self-portraits—more than two dozen—from 1886 and 1887， the period he spent living in Paris. These are， among other things， five-finger exercises8 in which he tried out new techniques and experimented with the brighter， impressionist palette9 that he was adopting at that time. In a picture such as Self-Portrait with Grey Felt Hat （September–October 1887） you can see the Van Gogh ‘signature style coming into being—the broad strokes10 of the brush with which he draws in paint， the brilliant use of complementary colours， so his head is surrounded by a whirling halo of blue and red and forehead furrowed11 with lines of green. Here is a portrait of the artist learning to be ‘Van Gogh.

這就有助于解釋1886年至1887年凡·高客居巴黎期間，其自畫像為何如此高產(chǎn)（超過24幅）。在凡·高的眾多畫作中，這些自畫像是其練手作品，他以此嘗試新技巧，試驗(yàn)他在這段時(shí)期所采用的更為明亮的印象派色調(diào)。如《戴灰氈帽的自畫像》（1887年9月至10月），你能從中看出凡·高的“標(biāo)志性風(fēng)格”逐漸成形——筆觸粗獷，巧妙運(yùn)用互補(bǔ)色。因此，畫中的他，頭部四周紅藍(lán)光暈繚繞，前額之上蹙起綠色皺紋。這幅自畫像畫的正是學(xué)著成為“凡·高”的凡·高本人。

But looking at these self-images suggests another reason why he painted himself so much： because even to himself Vincent was an interesting subject. He must have had an extraordinarily intense presence12. In a picture from summer 1887， his hair seems to be bristling13 as if with an electrical charge. This helps to explain why， as Martin Bailey points out in a catalogue essay14， quite a few other artists， including Gauguin and Toulouse-Lautrec， made pictures of him too.

然而，看著這些自畫像就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)凡·高頻繁描繪自己的另一原因：即便對(duì)他而言，文森特也是一個(gè)有趣的主題。他的外貌與舉止肯定極具特色。在1887年夏天完成的一幅自畫像中，他的頭發(fā)粗硬毛糙，就像是通了電。正如馬丁·貝利在一篇展覽圖錄文章中指出的那樣，這有助于解釋為何不少畫家，包括高更和土魯斯-勞特累克在內(nèi)，也會(huì)以他作畫。

On the other hand， Vincent was also highly changeable. He once wrote to his sister that one sitter could be the subject for many different portraits. This phenomenon， a general truth， is in part because the artists interest changes over time， but also because no subject will be quite the same from one day to the next day. Some people alter more than others; Van Gogh evidently changed a lot， partly for physical reasons. In some pictures he looks hollow-cheeked， possibly because he was not wearing his false teeth （hed had about 12 extracted）. He also intermittently shaved off， then regrew his whiskers. Above all his moods swung wildly， the depths and heights growing more extreme as time went on.

另一方面，文森特也十分多變。在給妹妹的信中，他提到同一模特可以充當(dāng)不同肖像畫的描繪對(duì)象。這是個(gè)普遍現(xiàn)象，一來是因?yàn)楫嫾业呐d趣會(huì)隨著時(shí)間的推移而改變，二來是因?yàn)闆]有哪個(gè)繪畫對(duì)象日復(fù)一日完全相同。有些人比其他人變化更大。凡·高的變化就很明顯，部分原因在于其身體狀況。在一些自畫像中，他的臉頰深陷，或許是因?yàn)樗麤]戴假牙（他已經(jīng)拔了大約12顆牙）。他剃胡子并不規(guī)律，絡(luò)腮胡剃了又長回來。最重要的是，他的情緒起伏巨大，隨著時(shí)間的推移，情緒的高度和深度越發(fā)極端。

It is too romantic to imagine Van Gogh was deliberately producing a diary or autobiography in paint. On the other hand， he explicitly wanted to make portraits that were deeper than photography （of which he had a low opinion）， images that recorded ‘passionate expressions.

設(shè)想凡·高故意通過繪畫來創(chuàng)作日記或自傳，那未免太過不切實(shí)際。另一方面，他曾明確地表示自己想創(chuàng)作出比照片（他對(duì)攝影的評(píng)價(jià)很低）更有深度、能記錄“熱烈神情”的畫像。

This certainly applied to his own， ever more drastic metamorphoses15. The climax lies in the juxtaposition16 of three pictures from the last full year of his life， 1889. In Self-Portrait with Bandaged Ear done within weeks of his ear-mutilation at Christmas 1888， he is pale， shaken17 and withdrawn18， but also—amazingly—back at work in his studio.

凡·高無疑已將這一理念運(yùn)用于描繪自己那較以前更甚的劇變。1889年，凡·高度過了人生中的最后一個(gè)整年，在此期間完成的三幅畫作一并體現(xiàn)了他對(duì)該理念的極致運(yùn)用?！抖p繃帶的自畫像》是凡·高在1888年圣誕節(jié)割耳后的幾周內(nèi)完成的。畫中的他蒼白、煩悶、孤僻，卻也令人驚嘆——他竟然能回歸畫室，重拾工作。

A picture from late August， painted during a bad attack， is even more of a victory over circumstances. Here Vincents electric gaze is switched off， eyes dead， posture slumped. But he still managed somehow to summon the concentration and energy to produce this work. Within a week or two he had created a masterpiece， begun on ‘the first day I got up19 and showing himself， ‘thin， pale as a devil but back again at his easel， brushes and palette in hand. In Vincent the will to paint was more powerful， apparently， than the will to live.

1889年8月末，凡·高在嚴(yán)重發(fā)病期間完成的自畫像，更是他戰(zhàn)勝逆境的體現(xiàn)。此圖中，文森特眼里的光芒熄滅了，眼底死寂一片，體態(tài)頹然萎靡。但他還是設(shè)法提起精神、集中精力，完成了這幅畫作。此后一兩周內(nèi)，他又畫就另一幅杰作。他在“起床的第一天”開始動(dòng)筆，畫中的他“瘦削蒼白得跟鬼一樣”，雖然狀態(tài)如此，他依然再次回到畫架前，重拾畫筆和調(diào)色板。在文森特身上，繪畫的意愿顯然要比生存的意愿更為強(qiáng)烈。

（譯者為“《英語世界》杯”翻譯大賽獲獎(jiǎng)?wù)撸?/p>