邵 晨

（廣東省中山市小欖中學(xué) ）

作為一種將閱讀和寫作緊密結(jié)合的新題型，讀后續(xù)寫在2016 年10 月浙江省高考英語試題中首次亮相，之后2020 年至2022 年新高考Ⅰ卷和新高考Ⅱ卷也采用了該新題型，隨著越來越多的省份采用讀后續(xù)寫新題型，如何提高讀后續(xù)寫的分?jǐn)?shù)成為了師生需要迫切解決的問題。讀后續(xù)寫的評(píng)分主要從內(nèi)容、語言和結(jié)構(gòu)三個(gè)維度進(jìn)行。學(xué)生的續(xù)作想要拿高分，在內(nèi)容方面要在原文的基礎(chǔ)上創(chuàng)造出新的內(nèi)容，并與原文保持內(nèi)容上的有效協(xié)同；在語言方面，要準(zhǔn)確恰當(dāng)?shù)厥褂秘S富的詞匯和句型；在結(jié)構(gòu)方面，要與原文有邏輯地銜接，并能夠使用恰當(dāng)?shù)你暯邮侄问估m(xù)作完整、連貫。在三個(gè)評(píng)分要點(diǎn)中，語言是基礎(chǔ)，有了語言做支撐，構(gòu)建的情節(jié)才可能有邏輯地被表達(dá)出來。

然而，反觀學(xué)生續(xù)作，有的學(xué)生詞不達(dá)意，有的學(xué)生使用的詞匯、句法簡單且單一，換句話說，語言的積累和運(yùn)用能力在很大程度上限制了學(xué)生們發(fā)散性思維的展開和創(chuàng)新性思維的呈現(xiàn)。因此，本文將基于過去7 年的讀后續(xù)寫高考真題，提煉總結(jié)出不同主題和場景下的精彩句型，為同學(xué)們建構(gòu)一個(gè)讀后續(xù)寫微型語料庫，旨在助力學(xué)生積累豐富語言，提升語言能力，進(jìn)而促進(jìn)學(xué)生創(chuàng)造性思維的表達(dá)。

一、考情梳理

截止到2022 年，歷年高考真題中，讀后續(xù)寫一共出現(xiàn)了13 次，表1 分析了每一道考題的體裁、話題、主題語境以及主題語境下的場景。

表1 淺析近7 年高考英語讀后續(xù)寫題

基于以上分析，不難發(fā)現(xiàn)讀后續(xù)寫涉及的場景可以歸納為以下幾類：脫險(xiǎn)類、助人類、個(gè)人成長類、家庭生活類、愛護(hù)動(dòng)物類，每一個(gè)場景下又可以繼續(xù)細(xì)分，具體如表2 所示。

表2 近7 年讀后續(xù)寫題場景歸納

一個(gè)語義場內(nèi)存在某些特定且相關(guān)的語言表達(dá)，這些表達(dá)匯聚在一起承擔(dān)著特定的語義功能，因此筆者從以上微場景中提煉了一些常用語料，構(gòu)建了一個(gè)讀后續(xù)寫微型語料庫，供同學(xué)們參考使用，旨在解決續(xù)作中言語匱乏、詞不達(dá)意等問題。

二、場景刻畫金句

（一）脫險(xiǎn)類

1.野外環(huán)境描寫

（1）Amid the frightening darkness,strange cries of wild beasts were heard.在令人恐懼的黑暗中，傳來了奇怪的野獸的叫聲。

（2）Darkness as black as ink flowed over the land and sky.夜色如墨，席卷了天地。

（3）Immediately,utter darkness ruled the forest.黑暗瞬間統(tǒng)治了森林。

（4）The forest was dark and damp,the sky was as black as ink,and the shadows of trunks and branches moved with the roaring wind,just like hundreds of tigers and lions which opened their mouths and tried to tear me into pieces.森林黑暗而潮濕，天空漆黑如墨，樹影隨著怒吼的狂風(fēng)搖曳，就像數(shù)千頭虎和獅子張著它們的血盆大口，想要把我撕成碎片。

2.兇猛野獸刻畫

（1）The bear jumped to its feet and roared at me,ready to attack anytime.熊跳起來向我吼叫，隨時(shí)準(zhǔn)備向我發(fā)起進(jìn)攻。

（2）The enormous bear howled with rage with its dripping jaws open wide.大熊垂涎三尺，生氣地怒吼著。

（3）Pacing back and forth,the bear snarled at me,baring its enormous teeth,which would tear me into pieces anytime.大熊一邊前后踱步，一邊向我吼叫著，它露出巨大的牙齒，隨時(shí)會(huì)把我撕成碎片。

（4）At night,howls and cries of lions echoed in the dark forest.晚上，獅子的嚎叫聲在漆黑的森林里回響。

3.負(fù)面情緒狀態(tài)描寫

（1）It seemed all the strength had drained away,and we collapsed to the ground,starving to death.似乎所有的力氣都用完了，我們癱倒在地，餓得要死。

（2）Gazing at the dark forest,I felt a strong wave of fright surging through my whole body.望著漆黑的森林，一種強(qiáng)烈的恐懼感席卷了我的全身。

（3）He felt very cold,trembling uncontrollably,with his teeth chattering.他感到非常寒冷，身體不由自主地瑟瑟發(fā)抖，牙齒也在打寒戰(zhàn)。

（4）The thought that I might be torn into pieces by the bear sent quivers down my spine.一想到可能會(huì)被大熊撕成碎片，我就不寒而栗。

4.自救及他救過程

（1）After what seemed like ages,we heard a faint voice from the distance.似乎過了很久，我們聽到遠(yuǎn)處傳來了微弱的聲音。

（2）Just as we were pondering upon how to seek our way back,a brilliant idea occurred in my mind that...就在我們思考如何尋找歸路時(shí)，我靈光一現(xiàn)……

（3）Scared but determined,he strained every nerve to do sth.with his remaining calmness.雖然害怕，但他意志堅(jiān)定，竭盡全力保持平靜去做……

（4）Tom pulled over,set the brake and got hold of the fire extinguisher.Two good bursts from the extinguisher and the big fire was put out.湯姆靠邊停車，拿起滅火器噴了兩下之后，大火被撲滅了。

（5）“Help! Anyone help!”she shouted at the highest volume but heard nothing in response except the roaring wind.“救命！誰能幫幫我!”她以最高的嗓音呼喊求救，但是除了狂風(fēng)之外，沒有任何回應(yīng)。

5.獲救與表達(dá)感恩

（1）It was you that risked your life and saved me from the hungry animal.是你冒著生命危險(xiǎn)從饑餓野獸的口中救了我。

（2）Overjoyed to see sb.coming to their rescue,they all breathed a sigh of relief.看到某人前來營救他們，他們高興極了，都松了一口氣。

（3）I shouted with great joy and excitement,tears of relief twinkling in my eyes.我開心地叫了起來，如釋重負(fù)的淚花在眼眶里閃爍。

（4）Safe and sound,they hugged tightly with tears welling up in the eye.安然無恙，他們緊緊相擁，眼淚奪眶而出。

（5）Had it not been for your timely rescue,I would have been burned to death.如果不是你的及時(shí)營救，我可能會(huì)被燒死。

（二）個(gè)人成長類

1.成長前的負(fù)面情緒

（1）A wave of embarrassment enveloped me.我感到一陣尷尬。

（2）Tears of fear and regret welled up in my eyes.害怕和后悔的淚水從我眼中奔涌而出。

（3）Badly frightened by the sudden incident,she was frozen to the spot.被突發(fā)事件嚴(yán)重驚嚇之后，她呆若木雞。

（4）I was flooded with a sense of horror.恐懼感向我席卷而來。

（5）He felt a wave of panic sweeping over him.他惶恐不安。

2.成長后的喜悅與感恩

（1）Grasping sb’s hands firmly,Tom said...緊緊握住某人的手，湯姆說……

（2）Casting a grateful look at him,she did...向他投去感恩的眼神，她做了……

（3）Mary bent and gave him a tight hug.瑪麗彎下腰來，緊緊地?fù)肀Я怂?/p>

（4）She looked gratefully into children’s eyes,saying“Thank you for giving me the most valuable gift I have ever had.”她向孩子們投去感激的目光，說道：“謝謝你們，這是我收到的最珍貴的禮物?！?/p>

（三）家庭生活類

1.有趣瞬間

（1）They all jumped to their feet,dancing and singing with thrill.他們一躍而起，激動(dòng)地又唱又跳。

（2）Laughter of happiness echoed through the living room.歡笑聲在客廳里回蕩。

（3）They shrugged and grinned from ear to ear,driving away the nervous and embarrassing environment in the house.他們聳了聳肩，咧開嘴大笑起來，驅(qū)散了屋內(nèi)的緊張和尷尬的氛圍。

（4）Roars of laughter burst all around the room with all the families throwing themselves onto the sofa at ease.大笑聲充滿了房間，全家人都自在地躺在沙發(fā)上。

2.感動(dòng)瞬間

（1）I picked up the receiver,and on the other end of the receiver,a tiny and trembling voice spoke,“I love you,Daddy,”she said and then hung up.我拿起話筒，在話筒的另一頭，一個(gè)微弱且顫抖的聲音說道：“我愛你，爸爸，”然后她掛斷了電話。

（2）A surge of happiness and warmth flowing through her,Mom kissed the two kids gently.一股幸福的暖流流遍了她全身，媽媽溫柔地親吻了兩個(gè)孩子。

（3）Overjoyed to see his families sitting and talking together in harmony,the father’s eyes grew misty.看到家人其樂融融地坐在一起聊著天，父親淚眼模糊。

（4）Tears of gratitude welling up in my eyes,I nodded my head and accepted the gift.我感動(dòng)得熱淚盈眶，點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭，接受了禮物。

（四）助人類

1.面對(duì)困難消極情緒

（1）A wave of/ a sense of/ a surge of rage/grief/embarrassment/guilt flooded/swept over sb.

2.描述困難情境

（1）As the economy was in decline,some people in the town had lost their jobs.Many of the families were struggling to make ends meet.隨著經(jīng)濟(jì)衰退，鎮(zhèn)上的一些人失去了工作。很多家庭都在努力維持生計(jì)。

（2）There was a man sick in bed,and his wife who took care of him could not go out to work.丈夫臥病在床，妻子不得不辭去工作照顧他。

（3）One day,a hurricane hit the area where he lived,completely destroying his home.有一天，颶風(fēng)襲擊了他居住的區(qū)域，徹底摧毀了他的家。

（4）As he got closer,he found another vehicle upside down on the road.One more look and he noticed flames shooting out from under the disabled vehicle.當(dāng)他走近時(shí)，他才發(fā)現(xiàn)一輛車翻倒在路面上，再仔細(xì)一看，他發(fā)現(xiàn)破損車輛的底部噴射出了火苗。

（5）A thick burning smell filled the air,which nearly made him choke to death.空氣里滿是燒焦味，濃煙讓他快窒息了。

3.靈機(jī)一現(xiàn)妙助人

（1）It suddenly occurred to sb.that...某人突然想到……

（2）A brilliant idea flashed across her mind that...她靈光一現(xiàn)，想到……

（3）Without any hesitation,sb.did something.某人毫不猶豫地做了某事

4.皆大歡喜結(jié)局（感激+感動(dòng)+升華）

（1）It didn’t take long before...不久之后,……

（2）Surprisingly enough,it turned out that...令人震驚的是……

（3）What happened next was pure magic,which made everyone breathed a sigh of breath.接下來發(fā)生的事像魔術(shù)一般，讓所有人都松了一口氣。

（4）I was extremely grateful to her for extending a helping hand.對(duì)于她伸出的援助之手，我不勝感激。

（五）愛護(hù)小動(dòng)物類

（1）Stretching itself,letting out a lazy yawn and licking its paws,the little cat curled up next to him.小貓咪伸伸懶腰，慵懶地打著哈欠，舔著爪子，蜷縮在他身邊。

（2）Seeing the meat in the master’s hand,the little dog wagged its tail eagerly with its tongue hanging out of its mouth.看到主人手里的肉，小狗狗渴望地?fù)u著尾巴，伸著舌頭。

（3）The dog looked up at Tom,wagging its tail gently as if expressing its gratitude to its master.狗狗抬頭望著湯姆，溫柔地?fù)u著尾巴，好像在向主人表達(dá)感激之情。

（4）The little cat arched its back,pacing forth and back at ease.小貓咪拱起背，安逸地走來走去。

三、場景升華金句

（一）脫險(xiǎn)類

（1）I realized how lucky I was to be rescued and how blessed I am to have such supportive friends.我意識(shí)到能夠被營救、能夠有這樣支持我的朋友是多么幸運(yùn)。

（2）This frightening experience taught me a valuable lesson in my life,through which I knew the importance of ...這次可怕的經(jīng)歷讓我學(xué)習(xí)到了人生中寶貴的一課，通過這次經(jīng)歷我認(rèn)識(shí)到了……的重要性。

（3）I will be always careful when I go outdoors.After all,safety always comes first.以后外出時(shí)我會(huì)注意安全。畢竟安全總是第一位的。

（4）After that,I obeyed the instructions seriously and never acted just following my will.It was indeed a lesson that benefited me a lot.自那之后，我很認(rèn)真地遵守指令，不再僅根據(jù)自己的意愿行動(dòng)。這次教訓(xùn)讓我受益良多。

（二）個(gè)人成長類

（1）The more you feed your mind with positive thoughts,the more you can attract great things into your life.你的思想越積極，你生命中就會(huì)遇到更多的好事。

（2）All of the hard work and sacrifice paid off.When you have a dream,pursue it with all of your heart.所有的付出與艱辛都會(huì)有所回報(bào)，當(dāng)你心懷夢(mèng)想的時(shí)候，全身心地去追逐吧！

（3）A dream doesn’t become reality through magic;it takes sweat,determination and hard work.夢(mèng)想不是通過魔法變成現(xiàn)實(shí)的，而是通過汗水、決心和努力來實(shí)現(xiàn)的。

（4）Actually,every individual possesses talent.Be brave when you find it and also make efforts.You can create miracles in the end.事實(shí)上，每個(gè)人都有天賦。當(dāng)你找到你的天賦時(shí)，要勇敢并且付出努力。最終你也可以創(chuàng)造奇跡。

（5）It’s never too late to go for your dream.As long as you grasp every opportunity and take full advantage of it,you will stand a chance to realize your dreams.追逐夢(mèng)想從來為時(shí)不晚。只要你抓住每一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)并且充分利用它，你就有機(jī)會(huì)實(shí)現(xiàn)夢(mèng)想。

（6）The journey to success is not smooth.It is full of challenges and difficulties,which we should be brave to face.As long as we don’t give up hope and make every effort to overcome all the difficulties,we will surely achieve our goal finally.通往成功的道路不是平坦的。它是充滿困難與挑戰(zhàn)的，我們應(yīng)該勇敢面對(duì)。只要我們不放棄希望并且不遺余力地去克服困難，最終我們一定能實(shí)現(xiàn)夢(mèng)想。

（三）家庭生活

（1）It was Henry’s kindness that made me realize that family matters the most.是亨利的善良讓我認(rèn)識(shí)到家庭才是最重要的。

（2）I keep the little doll as a reminder of my daughter’s love.我留著這個(gè)小娃娃，以提醒女兒對(duì)我的愛。

（3）The warm golden sunlight,flooding in through the window,together with love between my family,warmed up us,as if the freezing ice was all melted.溫暖的金色陽光透過了窗戶，和家人之間的愛溫暖了我們，冰好像都融化了。

（四）助人類

（1）From that day on,every time I meet someone who is in need of help,I always reach out to them,hoping to pass on the love and kindness to others.Just as a saying goes,“Roses given,fragrance in hand.”從那天起，每當(dāng)我遇到需要幫助的人，我總會(huì)向他們伸出援助之手，希望能夠把愛與善良傳遞給別人。正如諺語所說：“贈(zèng)人玫瑰，手有余香?！?/p>

（2）Sometimes,a small act of love and kindness may be powerful enough to make a huge difference.有時(shí)候，一個(gè)小小的善舉能夠產(chǎn)生巨大的影響。

（3）It is love that makes the world go round and Tom felt it deep in his little heart.湯姆深深地感覺到是愛讓世界運(yùn)轉(zhuǎn)。