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一部講述培養(yǎng)“大膽”女孩的佳作

2021-04-08 02:26:47安娜麗莎·梅雷利
英語世界 2021年3期
關(guān)鍵詞:大膽保羅冒險

安娜麗莎·梅雷利

If the number of extreme sportswomen is any indicator, women appear to be a lot less daring than men—at least when it comes to athletic endeavors.

Caroline Paul, a long-time adventurer, noticed this in her friends daughters. She noticed that, compared to boys, girls showed less bravery and were more likely to shy away from thrill-seeking—even before puberty, when their bodies arent too different from their male counterparts.

Paul told Quartz she began to ask herself “how come women seem to be much less gutsy than men?” She found the answer to be in the way they are raised as girls. Research, which Paul recently quoted in a New York Times op-ed1, shows parents are a lot more likely to warn girls than boys about perils, and demand caution. Even when playing outdoors, they tend to discourage daughters from taking risks and assist them, as if they were too frail to do it by themselves, while they encourage their sons initiative, letting them push their boundaries on their own.

And what is learned in play as kids is practiced in real life as adults—fearful girls become less daring women. “Girls are being treated as if [they]? need help and are too fragile,” Paul told Quartz. Worse, being afraid is understood to be a cute, girly trait, so “women learn that it is feminine to act scared.”

Paul had a different experience. Her mother, who had been discouraged from seeking adventures, made it a point to raise fearless daughters (she has a twin sister), and supported her thirst for physical challenges. Paul thought sharing some of her adventures and inspiration with young women would help them get gutsier. The result, part-memoir and part manual, The Gutsy Girl: Escapades for Your Life of Epic Adventure, is a book for girls which every grown woman should read, too.

She outlines the attempts, successes, and failures of her adventures. She was one of San Franciscos 15 female firefighters for many years, and before that, she collected seemingly impossible missions: walking up the Golden Gate Bridge (meaning: walking all the way to the top, on the suspension cables); climbing Denali (the worst-weathered mountain of Alaska); and rafting on improvised rafts with a group of hikers from Siberia (hint: they were much tougher than anyone you know).

Parents be warned, most of Pauls adventures arent the kind youd want your girls to try at home—and she says so herself, over and over warning: safety first. What, however, you should hope they try is to dream big, forget fear and, if anything, get scared by the sheer size of their ambitions.

“I think the pressure that girls face at puberty to be pretty, perfect and liked is enormous,” she explained to Quartz, saying that a familiarity with the kind of outdoor adventure that she encourages works as an antidote to that. Being pretty and perfect in the outdoors doesnt happen and doesnt help the fun—which makes for real-life training. Plus, not all of Pauls adventures end in success, which is great: daring means daring to fail, too—something girls and women are particularly scared of.

Like Paul, there have been women to buck the trend: Fanny Workman climbed the Himalayas in the 1890s; Roberta Gibb ran the Boston marathon in 1966, despite it being a male-only event; Mae Jemison, who traveled the world as a physician before she became the first African American woman in space.

Pauls book will convince any woman that she, too, is destined for a life of epic adventure—whether its in the woods or in the boardroom2.

如果從事極限運(yùn)動的女性人數(shù)可以作為評判指標(biāo),那么,至少在體育運(yùn)動方面,女性似乎遠(yuǎn)沒有男性勇敢。

這是資深冒險家卡羅琳·保羅在朋友女兒身上的發(fā)現(xiàn)。她注意到與男孩子相比,女孩子表現(xiàn)得不那么勇敢,她們更傾向于避免追求刺激——即便在青春期到來前,她們的身體和同齡男孩子沒有多大差別時,也是如此。

保羅告訴美國石英財經(jīng)網(wǎng),她開始思考“是什么原因讓女性似乎比男性膽小很多”。她發(fā)現(xiàn)答案在于撫養(yǎng)女孩子的方式。保羅最近在《紐約時報》的一篇專欄文章中引用了一份研究。這份研究顯示,同對待男孩相比,父母更傾向于告誡女孩子危險的存在,要她們小心。在戶外游戲玩耍時,父母通常不讓女兒冒險,喜歡給她們幫助,就好像她們太脆弱,不能獨自玩耍。但同時,父母鼓勵兒子要積極主動,允許他們突破界限,挑戰(zhàn)自我。

孩童時期在游戲中所學(xué)到的東西會體現(xiàn)在成年后的生活中——膽怯的小女孩長成了缺乏勇氣的女性。保羅告訴石英財經(jīng)網(wǎng),“女孩子被看作需要幫助、脆弱不堪的?!备愀獾氖?,膽怯在人們看來是一種可愛的女孩特質(zhì)。因此,“女性自然而然地認(rèn)為表現(xiàn)得膽怯就是有女人味”。

保羅的經(jīng)歷則不同。她的母親因自身曾被阻止追求冒險,決意要把一對孿生女兒培養(yǎng)成無所畏懼的女性,支持保羅挑戰(zhàn)身體極限的渴望。保羅認(rèn)為同年輕女性分享自己的一些冒險經(jīng)歷和靈感會幫助她們變得更勇敢。于是,就有了《勇敢女孩:為傳奇生活而冒險》一書。這本書部分是冒險經(jīng)歷回憶,部分是冒險行動指南。這本寫給女孩的書也值得每個成年女性去閱讀。

保羅在書中概述了自己的冒險經(jīng)歷,有嘗試,有成功,也有失敗。多年以來,她一直是舊金山15位女消防隊員中的一員。在這之前,她還完成了許多貌似不可能的壯舉:走上金門大橋(沿著大橋懸索一路走上大橋頂端);登上迪納利峰(美國阿拉斯加州氣候條件最為惡劣的山峰);與來自西伯利亞的一隊徒步旅行者一起乘坐臨時搭建的木筏漂流(提示:這些旅行者比你認(rèn)識的任何人都強(qiáng)壯)。

家長們要注意:保羅的大部分冒險并不是你想讓女兒在家里嘗試的那種——她自己也這樣說,同時一遍遍地告誡提醒:安全第一。不過,你應(yīng)該希望她們敢于夢想,忘記恐懼。如果有什么害怕的,那也應(yīng)該是被她們自己的雄心壯志所嚇到。

“我認(rèn)為青春期的女孩承受著要漂亮、完美、討人喜歡的巨大壓力?!彼龑κ⒇斀?jīng)網(wǎng)解釋說,經(jīng)常進(jìn)行她提倡的戶外冒險運(yùn)動可以消解這些壓力。戶外活動無法讓人保持漂亮和完美形象,也無助于享受樂趣——真實生活的歷練就是這樣的。再者,保羅的冒險也并非次次成功,這一事實意義非凡:勇敢也意味著要敢于面對失敗——失敗是女孩子和女人尤其害怕的。

和保羅一樣,也有其他女性逆勢而為:范妮·沃克曼早在19世紀(jì)90年代就登上了喜馬拉雅山;羅伯塔·吉布1966年參加了當(dāng)時只許男性參賽的波士頓馬拉松;梅·杰米森成為第一位登上太空的非裔美國女性,此前,她還作為醫(yī)生周游世界。

保羅的書會讓任何一位女性相信,自己命中注定會有史詩般冒險的一生——無論是探秘叢林,還是博弈職場。? ? ?□

(譯者為“《英語世界》杯”翻譯大賽獲獎選手)

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