景一

Lead with Your Main Idea

As a general rule， state the main idea of a paragraph in the first sentence—the topic sentence. Dont keep your readers guessing， or they will stop reading. What is the importance of the story to the audience？ Hook your readers promptly， so they want to learn more about your topic and will keep reading.

Dont bury key words. If you tuck1 your key words or ideas in the middle of a sentence， the reader may overlook them. To emphasize key words， place them at the beginning or at the end of the sentence.

以你的中心思想開頭

一般來說，要在第一句話，即主題句中陳述一段的中心思想。不要讓讀者去猜測，否則他們會(huì)停止閱讀。這個(gè)故事對觀眾有什么重要性？要迅速吸引你的讀者，這樣他們就想更多地了解你的主題，并且會(huì)繼續(xù)閱讀。

不要把關(guān)鍵詞藏起來。如果你把關(guān)鍵詞或想法夾在句子中間，讀者可能會(huì)忽略它們。要強(qiáng)調(diào)關(guān)鍵詞，請將它們放在句首或句尾。

Vary the Length of Your Sentences

In general， use short sentences to emphasize ideas. Use longer sentences to explain， define， or illustrate ideas. If all the sentences in a paragraph are long， the reader will get bogged2 down. If theyre all really short， the prose will sound panicked or staccato3. Aim for a natural-sounding flow. If a single sentence is over， say， 25 to 30 words， you could affect readers comprehension of your meaning. Break up really long sentences into two sentences for clarity. You can also vary sentence types and structures by blending simple， compound， and complex sentences.

使句子的長度多樣化

一般來說，可以用短句強(qiáng)調(diào)觀點(diǎn)，用較長的句子來解釋、定義或說明觀點(diǎn)。如果一段中的所有句子都很長，讀者會(huì)陷入困境。如果它們都很短，那么這篇文章聽起來會(huì)很慌亂或斷斷續(xù)續(xù)。要以自然的語流為目標(biāo)。如果一個(gè)句子從頭到尾有，比如說25到30個(gè)單詞，可能會(huì)影響讀者對你意思的理解。為了清楚地理解，要把很長的句子拆分成兩個(gè)句子。你還可以通過混合簡單句、復(fù)合句和復(fù)雜句來使句子類型和結(jié)構(gòu)多樣化。

Use Active Verbs and Voice

Dont overwork the passive voice or forms of the verb “to be”. Instead， use dynamic4 verbs in the active voice. Here is an example of passive voice： Three chairs were placed to the left of the podium. You can use active voice： A student placed three chairs to the left of the podium. （Three chairs stood to the left of the podium.）

使用主動(dòng)動(dòng)詞和語態(tài)

不要濫用被動(dòng)語態(tài)或動(dòng)詞“to be”的形式，而應(yīng)在主動(dòng)語態(tài)中使用動(dòng)態(tài)動(dòng)詞。下面是被動(dòng)語態(tài)的一個(gè)例子：三把椅子被放在了講臺(tái)的左邊。你可以使用主動(dòng)語態(tài)：一個(gè)學(xué)生把三把椅子放在了講臺(tái)的左邊。（或，三把椅子在講臺(tái)的左邊。）

Cut the Clutter5

When revising your work， eliminate unnecessary words. Watch out for repetition of the same concept or details. Its easy to overlook errors when reviewing your own work. Be on the lookout for common trouble spots， such as subject-verb agreement， noun-pronoun agreement and run-on sentences.

減少混亂

在修改你的作品時(shí)，去掉不必要的詞語。小心相同概念或細(xì)節(jié)的重復(fù)出現(xiàn)。檢查自己的作品時(shí)很容易忽略錯(cuò)誤。要注意常出問題的地方，如主謂一致、名詞和代詞的一致及冗長句。

Read When You Revise

When revising， you may hear problems of word choice， or syntax that you cant see. So listen up！It might seem silly， but dont skip this step on an important piece of writing.

修改時(shí)讀一讀

修改時(shí)，你可能會(huì)聽出來一些沒看出來的詞語選擇或語法的問題。聽好了！這可能看起來很愚蠢，但在寫一篇重要的文章時(shí)不要跳過這一步。

本期點(diǎn)評(píng)名師

張超 男，河北省衡水市阜城縣第四中學(xué)高級(jí)英語教師，市優(yōu)秀英語教師，縣骨干教師，從事英語教育教學(xué)工作29年;多年來，在省級(jí)以上報(bào)刊《中學(xué)生英語》《學(xué)英語》《英語周報(bào)》《中學(xué)生英語讀寫》《中學(xué)英語園地》《英語輔導(dǎo)》《校園英語》等發(fā)表文章數(shù)百篇，并有多篇論文獲獎(jiǎng);曾參編高中版教輔資料《天天向上》和《三維方案》的編寫工作，并榮獲“中央教育科學(xué)研究所全國基礎(chǔ)教育科研先進(jìn)個(gè)人”榮譽(yù)稱號(hào);多次輔導(dǎo)多名學(xué)生在省、市和國家級(jí)英語競賽中獲獎(jiǎng)。

My Hobby

Just as many middle school students like pop music， I love table tennis. Its one of the most popular sports in China， and you can see people playing it everywhere in China. It is also our national ball， you know. Table tennis is not only my favorite， but also part of my life. I began to play table tennis at age of① nine.

I like table tennis because it brings joys or② health to my life. After school， I always play table tennis and③ my friends， no matter what the weather is like.

Now I am a member of our school table tennis team. I often take a④ active part in table tennis matches. Sometimes I watch a table tennis match on TV and learn some skills from it. Im trying my best to play well because Id like to try table tennis in the future， and I also hope to be one of the most popular table tennis stars one day， such as Deng Yaping， Zhang Jike and so on.

河北省阜城縣第四中學(xué)九（12）班 ?鄭燦

1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn)：

小作者開門見山，以充分的理由說明了自己喜歡乒乓球的原因，然后介紹自己的乒乓球活動(dòng)，證明自己對乒乓球的熱愛。本文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊，層次分明，邏輯性強(qiáng)，句式豐富，時(shí)態(tài)運(yùn)用準(zhǔn)確，盡管有少許錯(cuò)誤，但瑕不掩瑜。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①at age of改為at the age of。 at the age of是固定短語，意為“在……歲時(shí)”，在句中用作狀語。

②or改為and。從上下文不難看出，這里是順承關(guān)系而非選擇關(guān)系。

③and改為with。with my friends在此用作狀語。

④a改為an。后面單詞active是以元音音素開頭。

3. 評(píng)分：

按中考英語作文滿分20分的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得18分。

王 ? 倩

出生日期：2003年1月27日

愛好：攝影

座右銘：人生沒有過不去的坎。

就讀學(xué)校：武漢大學(xué)附屬中學(xué)

My English Study

How time flies！My three-year middle school life will be over soon. Looking back， I have vivid memories of days and nights of English study.

When I entered the school， I had some difficulties in English study. I couldnt understand what the teacher said， and I couldnt master the words and grammar points. I even wanted to give it up. Then I found the way to learn English. I listened to the teacher carefully in class， kept reading English every day and speaking English as mush as possible. With the help of the teachers， my English improved a lot. In my free time， I watched many English movies.

In a word， learning English is very interesting. Though it is not easy， if you work hard， you will learn well.

霍翔宇

出生日期：2003年12月06日

愛好：圍棋、閱讀

座右銘：最困難的不是漫漫長路，

而是邁出第一步的決心。

就讀學(xué)校班級(jí)：江蘇省連云港市羅陽中學(xué)

九（1）班

指導(dǎo)老師：陳傳光

Im Proud of Myself

I used to be a boy with few words. Last month， I failed the exam. I felt so sad that I couldnt help crying. However， my mother told me that everyone may fail in his or her life. Failure is also a good chance for us to realize our disadvantages.

She encouraged me a lot. I made up my mind to prepare for the next exam. I always listened to the teacher carefully and did my homework all by myself. To my surprise， I achieved the best grade in the next exam. At that time， I actually felt proud of myself. I was so proud because I achieved success as well as courage. Now Im more confident， and I always believe everyone is able to be successful if he or she tries his or her best.

張瑞鑫

出生年月：2004年3月16日

座右銘：當(dāng)生活給你一百個(gè)哭的理由，

你就展示給它一千種笑的方式。

就讀學(xué)校：河北省衡水市第五中學(xué)

My Birthday Gift

It was my 14th birthday yesterday. My grandfather bought me a musical robot as a birthday gift. I love it very much.

It is small， so I can even carry it in my backpack. After I connect it to the Internet and speak to it， it can provide different kinds of services. For example， you just say， “Dong Dong， I want to listen to TFBOYS songs”， and it will play their songs at once. When I ask it about weather or my problems in my study， it can give me satisfying answers. Besides， it can remind me of important dates and so on.

I am so amazed at my musical robot because it makes my life more enjoyable and convenient. I really love it very much！

我的生日禮物

昨天是我的15歲生日。我的外公給我買了一個(gè)音樂機(jī)器人作為生日禮物。我非常喜歡它。

由于這臺(tái)音樂機(jī)器人很小，所以我甚至可以把它放進(jìn)背包里。當(dāng)我把它連接到互聯(lián)網(wǎng)上并跟它說話時(shí)，它可以提供給我不同的服務(wù)。例如，你只要說：“咚咚，我想聽TFBOYS的歌曲。”它就會(huì)立刻播放他們的歌曲。當(dāng)我向它詢問天氣或者我學(xué)習(xí)上的問題時(shí)，它可以給我滿意的答案。此外，它還可以提醒我重要的日期等等。

我對我的音樂機(jī)器人充滿了驚奇，因?yàn)樗刮业纳罡淇旌头奖?。我真的非常喜歡它！