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篇章模式視角下的高中英語(yǔ)概要寫(xiě)作探究(一)

2019-04-08 13:06吳俊峰
作文新天地(高中版) 2019年2期
關(guān)鍵詞:原句段落短文

吳俊峰

篇章模式(textual pattern)指某一語(yǔ)篇所具備的特殊的結(jié)構(gòu),由篇章類型所決定。篇章類型不同,篇章建構(gòu)的模式也就不同。因此,認(rèn)識(shí)各種篇章類型,掌握其篇章模式,有助于學(xué)生把握語(yǔ)篇之骨架,了解語(yǔ)篇之精要。這種能力對(duì)英語(yǔ)概要寫(xiě)作尤其實(shí)用。

高中階段英語(yǔ)概要寫(xiě)作所選的語(yǔ)篇,大都選自說(shuō)明文和議論文這兩種篇章類型,其篇章模式常分四種:正反議論、先破后立、問(wèn)題解決、提問(wèn)回答。筆者將結(jié)合實(shí)例,對(duì)以上四種模式分別進(jìn)行分析,幫助學(xué)生厘清結(jié)構(gòu)、抓住核心、提煉主旨,進(jìn)而寫(xiě)出優(yōu)秀的概要作品。

[ 一、正反議論模式(Positive-negative pattern) ]

(一)主要特點(diǎn)

正反議論模式是議論文的常見(jiàn)類型和寫(xiě)作模式,文章結(jié)構(gòu)往往呈對(duì)照式。作者首先提出針對(duì)某一種社會(huì)現(xiàn)象或話題人們所持有的兩種不同觀點(diǎn),然后從正反兩個(gè)方面運(yùn)用因果法、對(duì)比法、舉例法等分別對(duì)其進(jìn)行論辯,最后給出自己的看法。作為一種對(duì)照式的篇章結(jié)構(gòu),正反議論模式的文章思路清晰,凸顯論述力度,是實(shí)用性很高的一種結(jié)構(gòu)模式。

(二)基本結(jié)構(gòu)

1. 開(kāi)篇提出針對(duì)某社會(huì)現(xiàn)象或話題的兩種不同觀點(diǎn);

2. 討論第一個(gè)觀點(diǎn);

3. 討論相反的觀點(diǎn);

4. 最后給出自己的看法。

(三)寫(xiě)作常用句式

1.開(kāi)篇現(xiàn)象觀點(diǎn)/話題表達(dá)

① a controversial issue

有爭(zhēng)議性的問(wèn)題

② raise a storm of debates

引發(fā)一場(chǎng)辯論風(fēng)暴

③This research /phenomenon arouses different voices/a widespread concern.

這種研究/現(xiàn)象引起了不同的聲音/廣泛的關(guān)注。

2.常見(jiàn)過(guò)渡句

① Views on the issue in question vary from person to person.

對(duì)這個(gè)問(wèn)題,仁者見(jiàn)仁智者見(jiàn)智。

② As to whether it is a blessing or a curse, however, people take different views/positions/attitudes/stands.

是禍?zhǔn)歉#藗冇胁煌^點(diǎn)/立場(chǎng)/態(tài)度/立場(chǎng)。

③ Peoples views,? however, are divergent/divided on the matter.

然而,人們對(duì)這個(gè)問(wèn)題的看法是不同的。

④In the face of ... ,? people retain/take/assume different attitudes/positions/standpoints.

面對(duì)……人們保留/表現(xiàn)/假設(shè)不同的態(tài)度/立場(chǎng)/立場(chǎng)。

⑤ Although people reach/achieve the common understanding of sth, their views/ideas about its impact/influence/future are at opposite poles.

盡管人們達(dá)成共識(shí),他們對(duì)其影響/沖擊/未來(lái)的看法/觀點(diǎn)是截然相反的。

3.各方觀點(diǎn)表達(dá)句式

① 正面影響或積極觀點(diǎn):

remarkable/ steady growth? 顯著提高/ 穩(wěn)步增長(zhǎng)

the inevitable result? 必然結(jié)果

② 負(fù)面影響或?qū)α⒂^點(diǎn):

financial / psychological burden? 經(jīng)濟(jì)/心理負(fù)擔(dān)

be sacrificed to make way for...? ?犧牲……來(lái)實(shí)現(xiàn)……

③ Some people are inclined to think/claim/believe/hold/maintain that ... But others set forth a different argument about/opposite views on the matter.

有些人傾向于認(rèn)為/主張/相信/主張……但也有一些人對(duì)這個(gè)問(wèn)題提出了不同的觀點(diǎn)。

④ Some people advocate/favor/are for (oppose/object to/are against)...Yet others stick to/hold on to/cling to the opposite views/argument/points.

有些人贊成(反對(duì))……而另一些人則堅(jiān)持相反的觀點(diǎn)。

⑤ My favor goes to the first / second view.

我喜歡第一/第二種觀點(diǎn)。

4.綜合評(píng)價(jià)或客觀結(jié)論句式

① The advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.

利遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)大于弊。

② We should adopt a positive philosophy that...

我們應(yīng)該采用積極的觀點(diǎn)……

③ On balance, ... is a double-edge sword.

總的來(lái)說(shuō)……是一把雙刃劍。

5.常用過(guò)渡與對(duì)比轉(zhuǎn)折類詞語(yǔ)

① on the contrary; on one hand ... on the other hand ...

② by contrast; in contrast with/to; as a contrast to

③ on the contrary; to the contrary; contrary to; opposite to

④ compared with; in comparison with; by comparison

⑤ whereas; while; yet; however; but

[ 二、真題鏈接(浙江省名校新高考研究聯(lián)盟2018屆第二次聯(lián)考)]

閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫(xiě)一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。

Artificial intelligence, or AI, no longer simply exists in science fiction movies and books. From the iPhone personal assistant Siri, to doing searches on the Internet, to the autopilot function, simple artificial intelligence, or AI, has been around for some time, but is quickly getting more complex and more intelligent.

Many present-day jobs that are labor intensive, or require data analysis, such as in the financial industry, will be replaced by machines with artificial intelligence.

“We wont have mass employment in manufacturing or in financial services. The kinds of scenes where there is a giant factory or a giant office building with thousands of people doing the same thing will go away.” Said computer science professor Stuart Russell.

Artificial intelligence is also transforming the health care industry. AI can process huge amounts of data and have the most up-to-date research to help doctors diagnose and treat patients. IBMs Watson

technology is already in hospitals in North and South America, Europe and Asia. AI will change the economy and the current way of our life.

But there is also a dangerous side of artificial intelligence — autonomous weapons out of drone(無(wú)人機(jī)) technology .The risk with autonomous weapons is that people will use them as a kind of poor mans weapon of mass destruction— a poor mans nuclear weapon. Thus, the international community need to create treaties to ban autonomous weapons. “It is a race against time because the weapons are starting to emerge, the research is moving into development, development is moving into production,” Russell said.

While it is up for debate whether artificial intelligence will hurt or benefit mankind, researchers say it is a fact that the technology is and will continue to transform many aspects of life. If we are going to make systems that are going to be more intelligent than us, its absolutely essential for us to understand how to guarantee that they only do things that we are happy with,” Russell said.

[ 三、寫(xiě)作步驟]

下面從五個(gè)步驟來(lái)具體談?wù)劇罢醋h論模式”之下的概要寫(xiě)作策略。

(一)瀏覽全文,抓住短文大意,分析體裁特點(diǎn)

首先,應(yīng)通讀短文,理解短文大意,掌握短文的基本結(jié)構(gòu)。上述真題從篇章類型來(lái)看,屬于正反議論模式,全文共分為六個(gè)自然段。首段提出話題:simple artificial intelligence, or AI, has been around for some time, but is quickly getting more complex and more intelligent。從第二段起正反分析人工智能的利弊,最后一段對(duì)人工智能的未來(lái)形態(tài)進(jìn)行展望。

(二)再次快讀,明確段落主旨,畫(huà)出思維導(dǎo)圖

基于正反議論模式結(jié)構(gòu)邏輯,畫(huà)出思維導(dǎo)圖:第一段是提出話題,第二至四段是正方論點(diǎn),其中第三、四段是論據(jù),是對(duì)第二段的舉例進(jìn)行論證的,不作為主要點(diǎn)進(jìn)行概要寫(xiě)作,第五段是反方論點(diǎn),最后一段是作者觀點(diǎn)。全文結(jié)構(gòu)“總→分→總”一目了然。

【技巧點(diǎn)撥】? 真題的第三、四段是次要點(diǎn),是起說(shuō)明和論證作用的例子。通常舉例被視為細(xì)節(jié)信息,在提取要點(diǎn)信息時(shí),會(huì)把例子作為具體的細(xì)節(jié)信息予以刪除。但在一些情況下,如主觀點(diǎn)信息不明確或概要內(nèi)容不豐滿等,就有必要把例子簡(jiǎn)要?dú)w類概括成為次要點(diǎn)。

(三)最后細(xì)讀,定位概寫(xiě)要點(diǎn),畫(huà)出關(guān)鍵詞句

進(jìn)一步細(xì)讀段落,找出每個(gè)段落主旨下的關(guān)鍵詞和主題句。學(xué)會(huì)區(qū)別段落中的main ideas, supporting ideas, examples及additional information。

畫(huà)出正確的關(guān)鍵詞和主題句是概要寫(xiě)作最重要的內(nèi)容和依據(jù)。各段的要點(diǎn)分析如下(下劃雙線的句子為主題句,下劃單線的為次要點(diǎn),加邊框的詞為表示總起、轉(zhuǎn)折、過(guò)渡、總結(jié)等功能的連接性詞匯和過(guò)渡性詞匯):

(四)轉(zhuǎn)換表達(dá),整合要點(diǎn)成句,初步連句成篇

此步驟要求把每個(gè)段落的關(guān)鍵詞和主題句有機(jī)整合成合理的句子,在核心信息的基礎(chǔ)上對(duì)原文的語(yǔ)言表達(dá)形式實(shí)施“整形手術(shù)”,以達(dá)到舊貌換新顏。原則上字?jǐn)?shù)不能超過(guò)原句,不要改變?cè)牡倪壿嫿Y(jié)構(gòu)。此步驟最能反映寫(xiě)作者詞匯的豐富性和語(yǔ)法的基本功。

1.整合成句

要點(diǎn)1:第一段主題句和第六段的回指首段話題句,共同整合成一句,使全文結(jié)構(gòu)更緊湊,觀點(diǎn)更明確。此句使用讓步狀語(yǔ)從句。

文本原句:AI is around for some time and getting more complex and more intelligent1, but2 there is debate whether artificial intelligence will hurt3 or benefit4 mankind.

轉(zhuǎn)換表達(dá)→While2 AIbrings great convenience4to humans,the development1of artificial intelligence alsobrings us dangers3.

要點(diǎn)2:第二段主題句和第三、四段關(guān)鍵詞整合成一句,但第三、四段關(guān)鍵詞是例子和重復(fù)信息,可省略和削減。此句使用relieves sb from ...句式,簡(jiǎn)明扼要。

文本原句:Many present-day jobs that are labor intensive, or require data analysis willbe replaced by machines with artificial intelligence1.

轉(zhuǎn)換表達(dá)→AIrelieves usfrom1 intensive labor and data analysis.

要點(diǎn)3:第五段主題句和關(guān)鍵詞risk可整合成一句。此句使用put at the risk of ...(使……處于……危險(xiǎn)之中)精確簡(jiǎn)練。

文本原句:But there is also a dangerous side of artificial intelligence — autonomous weapons is a risk1.

轉(zhuǎn)換表達(dá)→it mayput us at the risk of1 autonomous weapon.

要點(diǎn)4:第六段主題句和關(guān)鍵表述is and will continue to transform many aspects of life整合成一句。此句使用讓步狀語(yǔ)從句、主語(yǔ)從句和賓語(yǔ)從句。

文本原句:Though1 AI is and will continue to transform many aspects of life2, its absolutely essential for us to understand how to guarantee that they only do things that we are happy with3.

轉(zhuǎn)換表達(dá)→No matter what1impact it will have on human society2, what we need to do is to guarantee thatAI only does things that benefits3.

2.連句成篇

把句子整合成篇章,應(yīng)按行文邏輯進(jìn)行寫(xiě)作,可以打破段落主旨的前后關(guān)系,盡量把多個(gè)句子的信息合理整合在一個(gè)句子當(dāng)中。整合過(guò)程中應(yīng)使用多種語(yǔ)言結(jié)構(gòu)和句型,避免照抄原文。形成概要初稿如下:

While AI brings great convenience to humans, the development of artificial intelligence also brings us dangers. AI relieves us from intensive labor and data analysis. It may put us at the risk of autonomous weapon. No matter what impact it will have on human society, what we need to do is to guarantee that AI only does things that benefit.

(五)優(yōu)化語(yǔ)言,注重全文連貫,謄寫(xiě)工整規(guī)范

從詞匯應(yīng)用和語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)的豐富性和準(zhǔn)確性以及上下文的連貫性等幾個(gè)角度考慮,結(jié)合本文文體特點(diǎn),使用On the one hand ...,on the other hand ...和But anyway進(jìn)行有效銜接,填補(bǔ)邏輯鴻溝(logical gap),使要點(diǎn)更加緊湊,全文文氣通暢,一氣呵成。同時(shí)注意詞數(shù)要求(65詞),形成概要終稿如下:

While bringing great convenience to humans, the development of artificial intelligence also brings us dangers.【要點(diǎn)1】 AI relieves us from intensive labor and data analysis.【要點(diǎn)2】On the other hand, it may put us at the risk of autonomous weapon.【要點(diǎn)3】 But anyway no matter what impact it will have on human society, what we need to do is to guarantee that AI only does things that benefit.【要點(diǎn)4】

我們可以將此類對(duì)比觀點(diǎn)文章形成以下模式:

While bringing (好處) , (話題) also brings us dangers./(話題), which is considered as both a blessing and a curse./【要點(diǎn)1】 On one hand, it relieves us from(益處)?!疽c(diǎn)2】On the other hand, it may put us at the risk of(弊端)?!疽c(diǎn)3】 What we need to do is guarantee that sth. only does things that benefit. 【要點(diǎn)4】

[ 四、實(shí)戰(zhàn)演練]

閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫(xiě)一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。

Fishing is probably the worlds most popular sport. People spend

many dollars each year on items like boats and four-wheel-drive vehicles. In addition, they spend money on fishing equipment, bait,fuel and boat repairs. And you can see that fishing can be an expensive pastime. Fishing lovers believe that their hobby is worth it. Others say that fishing is spoiling the environment and that it is a cruel hobby.

Supporters of fishing say that it is a nice hobby. Firstly, of the millions of people who fish for fun, most only catch enough fish to feed their families. They catch fish that are found in large numbers, so there is little danger to the species (種類).

Secondly, recreational fishermen contribute to the economy. They spend money on equipment and other items, and they also spend it indirectly by paying taxes on their equipment and fuel. Those who travel to fishing spots pay for accommodation (食宿) and airfares. This money keeps people in work and provides new jobs each year.

Thirdly, fishing is relaxing and fun so it lessens stress. Instead of turning to drugs or alcohol, it is far better to go fishing. People who are relaxed are generally healthier and much nicer to be near —except for the smell of the bait!

Those whore against fishing say that there are too many fish thoughtlessly taken form rivers, lakes, streams and oceans. This could lead to the dying out of some species. Modern cars and boats mean that people can fish in remote areas of the world, so no place is safe from greedy fishermen who take both males and females, leaving few fish to produce young.

Those against fishing also say that it is a blood sport, which means that an animal must die so that a human can have fun. Many of the fish caught for sport are not suitable for eating,so they are thrown away. Once hooked, fish have no chance of escape.

【參考范文】

With fishing increasingly popular, various views arise about it. 【要點(diǎn)1】Fishing lovers find this popular yet expensive sport worthwhile because it injects them great fun, releases their stress as well as accelerates economic development.【要點(diǎn)2】On the contrary, those who object to fishing argue that fishing threatens some species of fish. 【要點(diǎn)3】They also consider it cruel of fishermen to have fun at the risk of the life of fish.【要點(diǎn)4】

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