浙江 李佳霖
概要寫作作為浙江省高考新增題型,給不少考生,尤其是缺乏理性思維的考生設(shè)置了一定的障礙。據(jù)統(tǒng)計2018 年11 月份浙江省高考概要寫作的平均得分僅僅為9.44 分,居然連總分25 的一半都不到,確實令人深思。針對學生在應(yīng)對概要寫作題時存在的種種困難,筆者立足《考試說明》中概要寫作的閱卷標準,并結(jié)合多年的教學經(jīng)驗,總結(jié)出一套“四部曲法”,并且將其運用到教學實踐中,取得了不錯的效果。現(xiàn)以2019 年高考英語浙江卷概要寫作為例,將這套方法呈現(xiàn)如下,以期引起大家思考,以便為廣大考生解答此類題型提供必要的幫助。
概要寫作選取的素材往往是說明文或議論文,與環(huán)環(huán)相扣、曲折情節(jié)取勝的記敘文不同的是這兩類文章往往都圍繞某一中心話題展開論述,《考試說明》中概要寫作閱卷標準的第一條要求考慮的就是對原文要點的理解和呈現(xiàn)情況,所以把握每一段的中心大意是萬里長征的第一步,是決定概要寫作能否取得高分的關(guān)鍵。下面我們不妨先來閱讀2019 年高考英語浙江卷概要寫作有關(guān)“表揚孩子”話題的說明文:
Parents everywhere praise their kids.Jenn Berman,author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy and Confident Kids,says,“We’ve gone to the opposite extreme of a few decades ago when parents tended to be more strict.”By giving kids a lot of praise,parents think they’re building their children’s confidence,when,in fact,it may be just the opposite.Too much praise can backfire and,when given in a way that’s insincere,make kids afraid to try new things or take a risk for fear of not being able to stay on top where their parents’praise has put them.
Still,don’t go too far in the other direction.Not giving enough praise can be just as damaging as giving too much.Kids will feel like they’re not good enough or that you don’t care and,as a result,may see no point in trying hard for their accomplishments.
So what is the right amount of praise?Experts say that the quality of praise is more important than the quantity.If praise is sincere and focused on the effort not the outcome,you can give it as often as your child does something that deserves a verbal reward.“We should especially recognize our children’s efforts to push themselves and work hard to achieve a goal,”says Donahue,author of Parenting Without Fear:Letting Go of Worry and Focusing on What Really Matters.“One thing to remember is that it’s the process not the end product that matters.”
Your son may not be the best basketball player on his team.But if he’s out there every day and playing hard,you should praise his effort regardless of whether his team wins or loses.Praising the effort and not the outcome can also mean recognizing your child when she has worked hard to clean the yard,cook dinner,or finish a book report.But whatever it is,praise should be given on a case-by-case basis and be proportionate(相稱的)to the amount of effort your child has put into it.
本篇文章總共分為四段,每段文字都包含一個中心話題,所以首先我們必須把每一段的中心大意捕捉出來。值得一提的是每段文字的中心大意所處的位置不盡相同,有時中心句會開門見山般地出現(xiàn)在段首,有時會深藏不露般地置于段落中間,有時又會下定結(jié)論般地位于段落結(jié)尾,因此,考生必須利用敏銳的洞察力把每一段的中心句確定下來,上面文章中的畫線句子就是每一段的中心句。
《考試說明》中概要寫作閱卷標準的第四條要求對各要點表達的獨立性情況進行重視,但是說明文和議論文最大的特點是邏輯關(guān)系嚴密,所以在對這兩類文章進行概要寫作時的第二步是要緊密關(guān)注每段中心之間的邏輯關(guān)系,看它們究竟是并列關(guān)系、轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系、因果關(guān)系、解釋關(guān)系還是總括關(guān)系。如上面文章中第一段和第二段是并列關(guān)系,分別從數(shù)量過多和數(shù)量不夠兩個角度來闡述不恰當?shù)谋頁P的壞處,第三段通過引用專家的觀點來作為引出自己的觀點的理由,第四段總結(jié)上面三條信息,提出自己的觀點,不難看出,整篇文章的基本網(wǎng)絡(luò)體系是分(1)—分(2)—轉(zhuǎn)(理由)—總(概括)。
when,in fact,it may be just the opposite.
分(1)
Still,don’t go too far in the other direction.
分(2)
Experts say that the quality of praise is more important than the quantity.
轉(zhuǎn)(理由)
But whatever it is,praise should be given on a case-by-case basis and be proportionate(相稱的)to the amount of effort your child has put into it.
總(概括)
理順語篇關(guān)系的作用在于為第四步銜接成文打好扎實的基礎(chǔ),因為不同的連詞用于連接不同關(guān)系的句子。如果在第二步時不能確定正確的段落關(guān)系,那么使用哪些連接詞將成為空中樓閣,變得虛無縹緲。
在完成前面兩步任務(wù)后,接下來非常關(guān)鍵的一步是使用自己的語言替換文中的核心表達。因為純粹照搬、照抄原文中的句子,很難吸引閱卷老師的興趣,同時也不能取得高分。《考試說明》中概要寫作閱卷標準的第二條要求考慮應(yīng)用語法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯的準確性。然而,替換核心表達并非是一件輕而易舉的事情,必須遵循一定的技巧才能夠完成。細細分解開來,替換核心表達又可以分為替換語態(tài)、替換句型和替換詞匯三個方法。
在進行概要寫作時,將主動語態(tài)的句子適當調(diào)整成被動語態(tài)的句子,或?qū)⒈粍诱Z態(tài)的句子調(diào)整成主動語態(tài)的句子可以起到獨辟蹊徑的作用。如上文的第四個要點But whatever it is,praise should be given on a case-by-case basis and be proportionate(相稱的)to the amount of effort your child has put into it.可改寫成:Parents should be aware that praise needs to be task-specific and match the amount of effort their children have made.改寫后,句子的語言內(nèi)容沒有發(fā)生變化,但是其精煉度和高級性則提高了許多。
英語中有許多高級句型,如名詞性從句(主語從句、賓語從句、表語從句和同位語從句)、定語從句、狀語從句、強調(diào)句型和倒裝句型,合理使用這些高級句型可以使概要寫作煥發(fā)出勃勃生機,從而引人入勝。如第一個要點(揭示過度表揚的問題)when,in fact,it may be just the opposite.可改寫成which 引導的非限制性定語從句Nowadays parents tend to overpraise their children,which may have bad effects.此外,第三個要點Experts say that the quality of praise is more important than the quantity.可以改寫成一句更加高級的賓語從句Experts suggest that parents pay attention to the quality of their praise and focus on the efforts rather than the result.
概要寫作對詞匯的要求相當高,一方面需要考生使用相關(guān)的、準確的詞匯,另一方面又需要考生使用高級、新穎的詞匯,這就要求考生字斟句酌,在每一個詞匯上都力求精準,如第二個要點Still,don’t go too far in the other direction.我們不妨使用高級詞匯形容詞inadequate,從而形成下面一句高級的表達:Inadequate praise can be equally harmful.如果考生想不出inadequate 這個高級詞匯,表達的準確性和高級性可能會被削弱,因為其他的表達形式可能無法精煉、準確地傳達這個要點信息。
概要寫作的臨門一腳在于使用合適的連詞把經(jīng)過轉(zhuǎn)換的核心信息串聯(lián)成文,這個問題的解決需要從兩個方面入手,一為確定這些核心信息的邏輯關(guān)系,二為明確表示不同邏輯關(guān)系的適當連詞。第一個問題其實就是第二步的工作,如本文四條關(guān)鍵信息之中第一條為問題一,其與第二條關(guān)鍵信息問題二構(gòu)成并列關(guān)系,第三條信息通過引用專家的觀點來作為引出自己的觀點的理由,第四條信息則是總結(jié)上面的三條信息,提出自己的觀點。對于表示不同邏輯關(guān)系的連詞,在日常教學中教師很有必要給學生進行有針對性的歸納總結(jié)并指導學生學以致用,下面是關(guān)于表示不同邏輯關(guān)系的連詞的總結(jié):
表示并列關(guān)系的連詞:besides,in addition,additionally,what’s more,moreover
表示轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系的連詞:however,on the other hand,in contrast
表示總結(jié)關(guān)系的連詞:to sum up,in conclusion,in brief,all in all,in a word,in short
表示次序關(guān)系的連詞:initially,first of all,most importantly,secondly,last but not least
表示假設(shè)關(guān)系的連詞:otherwise,if not
表示因果關(guān)系的連詞:as a result,as a consequence,consequently speaking,therefore
經(jīng)過以上兩方面的準備之后,就可以進行概要寫作的最后一步了。下面仍以上述文章為例,進行具體說明。第一個要點Nowadays parents tend to overpraise their children,which may have bad effects.與第二個要點Inadequate praise can be equally harmful.之間可以用連接詞on the other hand或者however 來連接。在第二個要點與第三個要點Experts suggest that parents pay attention to the quality of their praise and focus on the efforts rather than the result.之間可以考慮使用in fact,as a matter of fact,in reality 等連接詞組。而在第三個要點與第四個要點Parents should be aware that praise needs to be task-specific and match the amount of effort their children have made.之間最好使用表示總結(jié)關(guān)系的連接詞,如to sum up,in conclusion,in brief,all in all,in a word,in short 等。
連接詞的恰當使用能夠較好地體現(xiàn)《考試說明》中概要寫作閱卷標準的第三條內(nèi)容,即重視上下文的連貫性,因為只有語篇連貫,才能讓文章層次分明、結(jié)構(gòu)清晰。
最后我們可以成文如下:
Nowadays parents tend to overpraise their children,which may have bad effects.However,inadequate praise can be equally harmful.In fact,experts suggest that parents pay attention to the quality of their praise and focus on the efforts rather than the result.All in all,parents should be aware that praise needs to be task-specific and match the amount of effort their children have made.(65 words)
牢牢掌握概要寫作的“四部曲法”可以幫助考生在審題和成文時保持頭腦冷靜,有章可循地完成知識和內(nèi)容的完美有機組合,達到《考試說明》對概要寫作的四項要求,實現(xiàn)輕輕松松取得高分的目標,真正培養(yǎng)考生的英語語言運用能力。