重慶市人民（融僑）小學(xué)六（1）班 余沐霖

指導(dǎo)老師：陳江月

評語

Great writing and it's nice to see how descriptive you were about the elements of the book and how it makes you feel. Pay close attention to adding the word “the” and remember that we can’t begin a sentence with the word “and”.

寫得很棒！很高興你能對書中的內(nèi)容做了形象的描述，也表達(dá)了自己的感想。注意在適當(dāng)?shù)臅r候加上“the”，還有，我們不能用“and”作為句子的開頭哦！