By Liu Yurong

Back when I was just a poor, struggling student in Los Angeles, I couldn’t afford a car at all.Fortunately for me, one of my classmates introduced me to Matsuno—the man with the keys to a car…and my heart.

Reticent but Attentive

He really felt for me. Come rain or shine, he was there for me driving me around four times a day so that I could read and work without any unnecessary burdens. It was like me having an own private chauffeur.

Unfortunately, it didn’t last long. Within three months, I got terribly ill. The doctor diagnosed me with mild pneumonia. I lay in bed in a daze with a high fever and couldn’t get out of bed for at least two weeks. Matsuno was right there taking care of me,serving me soup and medicine and making food for me. My parents and children were not around, I was alone, poor and sick, and desperate. Had I not met this quiet, diligent and meticulous Japanese American who worked tirelessly without complaint, I might have died in a foreign land.

Matsuno’s parents were born in the United States,so he is a third generation Japanese-American,and the eldest of five siblings. Due to his natural shyness, he had not really been in love till in his late thirties. With his Doctor of Pharmacy degree from the University of Southern California (USC), he has especially high income. Lying on the sickbed, I looked at his massive back when a thought crossed my mind—maybe he’s the man for me? Soon after I got well, we quietly registered for marriage at the local town chapel, and I have been Mrs. Matsuno for more than 20 years.

憨厚洋丈夫

文/劉於蓉

在洛杉磯，當年只是一個窮學生的我根本無力養(yǎng)一部車子，幸好同學介紹我認識了他——松野。

寡言卻細致

他對我的處境十分同情，工作之余，一天四次開車接送我，風雨無阻，讓我能像雇用了私人專職司機一樣，安心地讀書和工作。

可惜好景不長，不到三個月，我就累病了，又得了風寒，醫(yī)生診斷我感染了輕度肺炎。我躺在床上，高燒不退，至少有兩個星期迷迷糊糊地起不了床。松野衣不解帶地照顧我，伺候我喝湯藥，喂我吃飯。父母、孩子都不在身邊，我形單影只，貧病無依，若不是上蒼讓我遇見這個沉默寡言、任勞任怨、無微不至的日裔美國人，可能我會客死異鄉(xiāng)。

松野的父母都出生在美國，他是第三代日裔美國人，五個兄弟姐妹中他排行老大，因為天性羞澀，三十七八歲還沒真正談過戀愛。他學有專長，是南加州大學（USC）畢業(yè)的藥劑學博士，有一份很好的收入。躺在病床上養(yǎng)病時，我望著他厚實的背影想了又想，覺得嫁給他不算太委屈。病愈不久，我們悄悄地到鎮(zhèn)上的小教堂注冊成婚，就這樣，我做了二十多年的松野太太。

婚后，兩人日夜生活在一起，唇齒相依，互相適應外，也免不了發(fā)生摩擦。開頭的十年，我常懷疑自己的選擇。他是標準的坐如鐘、立如松，不但動作慢，反應遲緩，而且堅信“沉默是金”，可以一整天不說一句話，造成我精神上的極大苦悶。我懷疑，這個土生土長的美國人，骨子里是不是仍然潛伏著日本式大男子主義的毒素？

隨著年齡的增長，我漸漸學會凡事退一步想，以旁觀者的立場觀察自己的先生和這段婚姻。

憨直又真誠

我必須承認自己與他有緣。我做夢也想不到我會來到美國嫁給一個日裔美國人。他身高將近六尺，體重260磅，比我整整重了120磅，寬臉上還橫著兩道巨大的濃眉。

After marriage, both of us have lived together day and night. We’re like two peas in a pod. We’ve adapted to each other swimmingly, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have our moments of friction. In the first ten years,I often doubted my choice. He is such an average guy, who sits like a stone and stands like a pillar.He is slow to act and react, and he believes that “silence is golden.”Sometimes it could nearly freak me out that he kept silent without saying a single word for a whole day. I sit there wondering if this sweet, mild-mannered American citizen is still a Japanese male chauvinist at heart.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve gradually learned to take a step back and observe my husband and our marriage from an objective perspective.

Honest and Sincere

I must admit that I have a lot in common with him. I have never dreamed that I would come to America and marry a Japanese-American. He is nearly six feet tall and weighs 260 pounds, 120 pounds heavier than me. His huge bushy eyebrows spreading across his broad face almost make him a centerfold from the book of Japanese clichés.

Silent Matsuno had no sense of humor, but his simple nature gives him a sort of na?ve charm.During her lifetime, my mother loved him so much and used to make him talk.

My mother died of illness in the United States. Before her burial, her children knelt with the monks and chanted prayers for her. While chanting together with us, unexpectedly, Matsuno fell asleep with his hands clasped together, still on his knees and mumbling “Amitabha” in an almost undiscernible prayer. I didn’t have the heart to criticize his gaffes seeing he didn’t complain about being tired and his filial piety was commendable.Every morning I light incense and worship the bodhisattva of Kuanyin (Goddess of Mercy).When I read a Buddhist sutra, he also silently recites, “Bodhisattva blesses me and my family.”O(jiān)ver these years, maybe the Bodhisattvas can also appreciate his honesty and sincerity and bless us.

He firmly believes that “a man does not easily shed tears,” but he does not understand that “a man has gold at his knees.” When I scold my daughters in anger, he and the children often go down on their knees to make amends,which leaves me kicking myself that I’m always so temperamental and making up my mind to change.

Simple and Loving

Matsuno loves my children so much. To help with their study,and car loans, he works tirelessly and takes part-time jobs. Yet he’s such a trooper that he never utters a word of complaint.

When my younger daughter graduated from medical college and was applying for her medical license, her scholarships and student loan checks all stopped,leaving her unable to meet her living expenses, insurance premiums and car payments. As her stingy mother, I tried to treat it lightly by saying, “She’s old enough that she should take care of this on her own.”

However, as luck would have it, her big-hearted old step-father said solemnly, “If you do not pay,I’ll pay. I go to find another parttime job…”

沉默的松野雖無幽默感，單純的天性卻使他顯得憨態(tài)可掬。我的母親生前很疼他，常逗他開金口說說話。

母親在美國不幸病逝，安葬前，子女們環(huán)跪靈前，隨著僧人為她老人家誦經(jīng)。想不到，松野學我們雙手合十喃喃念著“阿彌陀佛”時，居然睡著了，而且“金剛不倒”，依舊跪得好好的。我念在他不喊累，孝心可嘉，也就不忍心苛責他的失態(tài)。每日清晨，我點香膜拜觀世音菩薩，念一段佛經(jīng)時，他也在旁默念著：“菩薩保佑我，菩薩保佑我的家。”數(shù)年如一日，菩薩也能體會到他的憨直與真誠而保佑我們。

他堅信“男兒有淚不輕彈”，但他不懂“男兒膝下有黃金”。每當我生氣責罵女兒時，他和孩子們常一起下跪賠不是，令我對自己的壞脾氣羞慚得無地自容，想不改也不成。

單純又博愛

松野極愛我的孩子。為了兩個孩子念書、買車子，他努力工作又兼差，從不吐一句怨言。

小女兒從醫(yī)學院畢業(yè)，準備考醫(yī)師執(zhí)照，學校的獎學金、政府的學生貸款全部停止，生活費、保險費、車子貸款全沒著落，身為親娘的我輕描淡寫地說：“她這么大了，應該自己去想辦法。”

想不到，僅是繼父的他臉色一正，說：“你不付，我付，我再去找一份兼差……”

唉，他本是個高爾夫迷，但現(xiàn)在每天必須上班掙錢養(yǎng)家，一點打球的時間都沒有。自從我結(jié)束自己的生意后，他毫無怨言地獨立挑起養(yǎng)家的重擔。和我的兩個孩子在一起生活二十年，他完全不介意孩子們?nèi)耘f沿用生父的中國姓而沒有改姓松野。在美國社會，養(yǎng)育前妻或前夫所生子女的例子非常多，但像他這樣真情實意、死心塌地愛護孩子的繼父，我相信不但在美國，就是全天下也很難找到。他沒念過中國古圣賢書，卻懂得并且身體力行“幼吾幼以及人之幼”的博愛精神，我為兩個早已失去父愛的女兒慶幸。（摘自《人生舞臺在美國》中國文聯(lián)出版社）

He used to be a golfer, but now he has to work every day to earn enough money to support our family, with no more time to play. Since I finished my business, he has shouldered the burden of supporting the family without complaint. Living with my two children for 20 years, he never minds that the children are still using their biological father’s Chinese surname without changing it into Matsuno. In American society, there are many examples of raising children from their ex-wife or ex-husband, but a stepfather like him, someone who truly and affectionately loves and cares for his children, I believe, is hard to find not only in the United States, but also in the whole world. He has never read any of China’s ancient books of wisdom,but he understands and practices the humanity spirit of “extending the same care to others’ children as if they are his own children.” I am grateful for my two daughters who have lost their father’s love long before and found paternal love again in Matsuno.

(FromLife Is Like a Stage in America, China Federation of Literary and Art Circles Publishing House. Translation:Qing Run)