My Happy Family

I live in a warm family.There are four people in my family:my grandmother,my parents and I.

My grandmother is 65 years old.She is in good healthy①.She does morning exercises in the park and buys fresh vegetables in the market every morning.

My father is a②engineer.He works very hard and always travel on business.But he often takes us to some interesting places to travel when he is free.We often enjoy ourselves.

My mother is a teacher in a university.She is very kind but strict with me.She is such③busy with her work that she always gets home late.After she comes back,I often share funny things in school with her to make her relaxing④.

I am a middle school student and I love reading.For me,study is a happy but challenging job.

East or west,home is best.I love my happy family.

江蘇省贛榆縣羅陽中學(xué)七（5）班張恒

【欄目要求】

1.將學(xué)生習(xí)作根據(jù)中考分值給出成績(jī); 2.在應(yīng)該修改的地方劃線并標(biāo)注序號(hào);

3.根據(jù)所標(biāo)序號(hào)進(jìn)行修改并說明修改的理由; 4.給學(xué)生習(xí)作點(diǎn)評(píng)〈優(yōu)點(diǎn)與不足〉;

5.請(qǐng)點(diǎn)評(píng)名師提供簡(jiǎn)歷一份，包括：學(xué)校、職務(wù)、職稱、榮譽(yù)、教研教學(xué)成果、照片一張。

投稿郵箱：zxsyy2007@163.com或whzxsyy@163.com

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本期點(diǎn)評(píng)名師

陳傳光男，中學(xué)一級(jí)教師、江蘇省教育學(xué)會(huì)會(huì)員、連云港市優(yōu)秀教育園丁、贛榆縣優(yōu)秀班主任；任教于江蘇省贛榆縣羅陽中學(xué)，從事教育教學(xué)工作已逾12年；有多篇論文在各雜志期刊上發(fā)表并獲獎(jiǎng)；曾獲全國中學(xué)生新課程英語語言能力競(jìng)賽優(yōu)秀輔導(dǎo)教師一等獎(jiǎng)。

1.優(yōu)點(diǎn)：

在本文中，張恒同學(xué)向我們一一介紹了奶奶、爸爸、媽媽和自己的職業(yè)及生活習(xí)慣。小作者最后通過一句諺語收尾，升華了主題。透過小作者的文字，我們也仿佛感受到了這個(gè)家庭的溫暖。文章語言流暢、結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，是一篇優(yōu)秀的學(xué)生習(xí)作。

2.需要修改的地方：

①healthy改為health。health是名詞，意為“健康”，形容詞good修飾名詞health。

②a改為an。engineer首字母發(fā)元音/e/。

③such改為so。通常情況下such后接名詞，so后接形容詞或副詞。

④relaxing改為relaxed。relaxing形容物，意為“使人放松的”，relaxed形容人，意為“放松的”。

3.評(píng)分：

按江蘇省連云港市中考英語作文滿分20分的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得17分。