山東省萊蕪市鋼城區(qū)里辛一中 九年級三班 陳逸敏

Today is Sunday， the weather is very good. Im very happy to have the opportunity to go to the park with my parents. My parents work very hard often， so they hardly ever have time to stay with me. I hope that they spend more time with me.

There were many people in the park. First， we saw some birds in the sky. There are also many kinds of birds in cages. Then， we saw a dog show， the dogs are very lovely and their play brings everyone happiness. To our surprise. It can even do math problems！ Then， I found a small boy crying in the corner， we help him to find his father. I always remember the moment when their parents saw the boys， with tears on their face. That makes us very moved. His parents thank us again and again. Parents and children should be more together， I know the child is everything for their parents. In the end， we went to the shop； my mother bought me a bear doll that I like very much.

Today is a happy day， thank you for my parents to leave me a beautiful memory. I love them so much.

指導(dǎo)教師：吳海燕

【點評】

1.點名了主題，很好的記述周末所做的活動，條理清楚，語言通順。

2.在說明周末的過程中，運(yùn)用了have an opportunlty to do， spend time with sb. find sb. doing及 leave a memory等句型。

3.主題突出，記事的同時，還進(jìn)行了感情教育。