by Andrew Harvey
When I lived in Paris in my 30s, I had a friend who was in her early 80s and lived in a studio with two blind dogs and a cat with three legs. In her youth she had acted in a series of bad films that made her rich and briefly famous. Until the age of 50, she told me, she “never had a serious thought in [her] head and lived an idiotic life.” At 50, however, everything changed. Film parts started to dry up; she invested her money with a Moroccan financier who ran off to Marrakesh; her much-loved but much-neglected son was killed in a car accident; a lover used, humiliated, and betrayed her with one of her best friends. Alone and depressed, she sold her houses and dresses and bought a one-room studio in a remote, dangerous suburb of Paris. For a year she cut herself off from her old friends and lived on bread, cheese, and vegetables she 1)scrounged from shopkeepers who remembered her as a minor queen of French cinema.
Her life did not change because she had a vision or met a master or suddenly fell in love with God. “I did not meet Jesus,” she used to say 2)tartly, “I met a dog.” One afternoon she was wandering stoned, hungry, and 3)desolate around her 4)dingy neighborhood, wondering why she bothered to go on living at all, when quite suddenly, as if from nowhere, a small, knife-thin, clearly starving 5)mutt with big floppy ears tottered toward her out of a doorway and fell at her feet. “I was so stoned and lost,”she told me, “my first instinct was a kind of anger. How dare the dog do this to me? How dare I be reminded that there might be beings on the earth suffering even more than me? I wanted to kick it in the teeth.”She did not kick the dog, however; she knelt down in the filthy street, took him up in her arms, took him home to her studio, nursed him back to health, and kept him with her until he died peacefully in his sleep ten years later,“the smelliest but without a doubt the most spoiled dog in Paris.”
What she discovered on that afternoon went far beyond the joy of rescuing one helpless and abandoned creature. What she discovered was the cause she would devote herself to that saved her life and restored her hope: animal rights.
My friend became a tireless rescuer of abandoned animals. She never made any real money again, but with the tiny amounts that came in from radio and TV appearances and a 6)hilarious and 7)scabrous memoir, she bought an old red-and-blue van and transported animals who had been found abandoned and abused to friendly homes.
I rang her one day and asked her, “Are you happy?” She paused and then said softly, “Im happier than Ive ever been. And not because I made those films all those years ago. I dont even know who that woman was, and Im not sure I care. What an idiot she looks like in all those period wigs. What makes me happy is that I know I have saved some lives—not for long, of course, since Mr. Death gets us all in his bag in the end, but perhaps long enough for a few animals to know that not every human being is a self-centered”—and here she used a French word, crapaud, which translates into(Im being 8)euphemistic) “arrogant bastard.”
Two weeks later I was at her funeral. It was held in her 9)squalid neighborhood, in a 10)crumbling anonymous hall. Her friends read her favorite poems aloud, played her favorite 11)Edith Piaf songs, and drank down rivers of red wine in her honor. That was touching enough, but what made her funeral one of the most 12)poignant and celebratory of any I have attended is that the music and poetry and laughter and half-drunk 13)reminiscences were punctuated by one constant, wild, glorious sound—the sound of dozens of dogs of all kinds and sizes barking in chorus. About 80 people had traveled from all over France to honor my friend and her fight for animal rights, bringing with them the dogs she had once brought them in her battered van. The greatest 14)eulogy she could ever receive was that 15)yapping chorus of the dogs her fierce compassion had saved.
我三十多歲時(shí)住在巴黎,當(dāng)時(shí),我有個(gè)朋友,她已經(jīng)八十出頭了,與兩條失明狗和一只三腳貓一起住在一套單間公寓里。她在年輕的時(shí)候曾出演過(guò)一系列爛片,令她獲得了不菲的收入和短暫的名氣。她告訴我說(shuō),五十歲前,她“腦子里從未認(rèn)真考慮過(guò)事情,過(guò)著白癡般的生活?!钡窃谖迨畾q那年,一切都變了。拍片工作開(kāi)始停滯,她把錢(qián)投給一個(gè)摩洛哥投資經(jīng)紀(jì),而那人卻卷款逃到了馬拉喀什;她深?lèi)?ài)卻疏于照顧的兒子死于車(chē)禍;一個(gè)情人與她一個(gè)最好的朋友一起利用、羞辱并背叛了她。在孤單和沮喪中,她賣(mài)掉了自己的房子和衣裙,在巴黎一個(gè)偏遠(yuǎn)、危險(xiǎn)的郊區(qū)買(mǎi)下了一套單間公寓。在長(zhǎng)達(dá)一年的時(shí)間里,她斷絕了自己與老朋友們的聯(lián)系,靠從小店老板們那里討要的面包、奶酪和蔬菜過(guò)活,在他們的記憶中,她還是那個(gè)法國(guó)電影小天后。
她的人生并未因?yàn)樗话l(fā)偉愿或是遇到高人指點(diǎn)或是突然愛(ài)上上帝而發(fā)生改變。“我沒(méi)有遇見(jiàn)過(guò)耶穌,”她過(guò)去常辛辣地說(shuō),“但我遇到了一條狗。”一天下午,她正醉醺醺、饑腸轆轆且滿心凄涼地在她家附近骯臟的街區(qū)上游蕩,想知道自己究竟為什么還要費(fèi)力活下去,忽然之間,不知從哪里冒出一條骨瘦如柴,顯然餓得半死的大耳朵雜種狗,踉踉蹌蹌地走出一個(gè)門(mén)口,向她走來(lái)并倒在了她的腳邊?!拔液鹊悯笞?,稀里糊涂的,”她告訴我說(shuō),“我的第一反應(yīng)是有點(diǎn)生氣。這條狗怎么敢這樣對(duì)我?它怎么敢提醒我,這個(gè)世界上還有生靈過(guò)得甚至比我還慘?我想一腳踢掉它的牙?!钡撬](méi)有踢那條狗,而是跪在骯臟的大街上,把它抱在懷里,將它帶回到她的單間公寓里,照顧它直至恢復(fù)健康,并將它留在身邊,直到十年后它安詳?shù)赜谒瘔?mèng)中死去,“它是巴黎最臭卻又毫無(wú)疑問(wèn)最受寵愛(ài)的狗狗?!?/p>
那天下午,她所發(fā)現(xiàn)的遠(yuǎn)不止是拯救了一只無(wú)助且被遺棄的動(dòng)物所帶來(lái)的快樂(lè)。她發(fā)現(xiàn)的是自己愿意投身去做的事業(yè):動(dòng)物權(quán)益。這一事業(yè)拯救了她的人生,重燃了她的希望。
我的朋友開(kāi)始不知疲倦地救助被遺棄的動(dòng)物。此后她再也沒(méi)有掙過(guò)大錢(qián),但在電臺(tái)和電視上露面以及一部滑稽的情色自傳為她帶來(lái)了一小筆收入,她用此買(mǎi)了一部紅藍(lán)色的舊貨車(chē),以便將找到的被遺棄或是被虐待的動(dòng)物送往友善的家庭。
有一天我打電話給她并問(wèn)她說(shuō):“你快樂(lè)嗎?”她停頓了一下,然后輕聲說(shuō):“我比過(guò)往的任何時(shí)候都要快樂(lè)。并不是因?yàn)槎嗄暌郧拔遗倪^(guò)的那些電影。我甚至都不知道那個(gè)女人是誰(shuí),而且我也不確定自己還在乎。那時(shí)的她戴著那些古裝假發(fā)看起來(lái)多么白癡啊。知道自己曾拯救過(guò)一些生命才是讓我感到快樂(lè)的原因——時(shí)間不長(zhǎng),當(dāng)然了,畢竟死神最后都會(huì)擺我們所有人一道,但也許足夠時(shí)間讓一些動(dòng)物們知道,并不是每一個(gè)人類(lèi)都是以自我為中心的”——而她在這里用了一個(gè)法語(yǔ)詞“crapaud”,翻譯過(guò)來(lái)(委婉地說(shuō))就是“傲慢的雜種”。
兩周以后,我參加了她的葬禮,就在她那骯臟街區(qū)上的一個(gè)破舊大廳里舉行。她的朋友們大聲朗讀了她心愛(ài)的詩(shī)篇,演奏了她最?lèi)?ài)的伊迪絲·琵雅芙的歌曲,并痛飲了不少的紅葡萄酒以示致敬。那已經(jīng)足夠感人了,而那之所以會(huì)成為我參加過(guò)的所有葬禮中最打動(dòng)人心和最讓人歡喜雀躍的一場(chǎng),是因?yàn)槟切┮魳?lè)、詩(shī)篇、歡笑和半醉的回憶不時(shí)地被一種持續(xù)的、野性而嘹亮的嚎叫聲打斷——許許多多不同種類(lèi)和體型的狗狗們齊聲合唱的聲音。大約有80人從法國(guó)各地來(lái)到此地向我的朋友以及她為動(dòng)物權(quán)益所作的斗爭(zhēng)致敬,還帶來(lái)了那些狗狗,那些她曾經(jīng)開(kāi)著破貨車(chē)給他們帶去的狗狗。她所收到的最偉大的頌詞,便是由她那狂熱的惻隱之心所拯救的那些狗狗們所獻(xiàn)上的尖聲合唱。