姜經(jīng)志

The Art Collector

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy （骯臟的） cat licking up （舔） milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He knows that the saucer （碟子） is extremely old and very valuable， so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.

The store owner replies， “Im sorry， but the cat isnt for sale.”

The collector says， “Please， I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. Ill pay you twenty dollars for that cat.” The owner says “Deal！” and hands over the cat.

The collector continues， “Hey， for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in （額外奉送） that old saucer. The cats been used to it and itll save me from having to get a dish.”

And the owner says， “Sorry， buddy， but thats my lucky saucer. So far this week Ive sold sixty-eight cats.”

藝術(shù)收藏家

一名著名藝術(shù)收藏家在城里走著，這時(shí)他注意到在一家店鋪門(mén)口有一只臟貓?jiān)谔蚴潮P(pán)中的牛奶。他先是一怔，然后恍然大悟。他知道那只盤(pán)子特別古老也很貴重，于是就漫不經(jīng)心地走進(jìn)店里，提出花兩美元買(mǎi)那只貓。

店主說(shuō)：“對(duì)不起，貓不出售?！?/p>

收藏家說(shuō)：“拜托了，我家里需要一只餓貓逮老鼠。我愿意出20美元買(mǎi)那只貓?！?/p>

于是，店主說(shuō)：“賣(mài)給你了。”然后把貓遞了過(guò)去。

收藏家接著說(shuō)：“嘿，我出了20美元，你能不能把那只舊盤(pán)子送給我？這只貓已經(jīng)習(xí)慣用這只盤(pán)子，而且也省得我再去買(mǎi)新盤(pán)子?！?/p>

店主說(shuō)：“對(duì)不起，伙計(jì)。那可是我的幸運(yùn)碟子。到本周為止我已經(jīng)賣(mài)掉了68只貓?！?/p>

Crime and Punishment

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary （盜竊） tried this creative defense： “My client merely inserted （伸入） his arm into the window and removed a few articles. His arm is not himself， and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb （肢）.”

After some deliberation （考慮）， the judge

replied， “Well put. Using your logic， I sentence the defendants arm to one years imprisonment. He can accompany it or not， as he chooses.” The defendant smiled. With his lawyers assistance he detached his artificial （人造的，假的） limb， laid it on the bench， and walked out.

罪與罰

一個(gè)為一名被控犯盜竊罪的人作辯護(hù)的律師，作出了很有創(chuàng)見(jiàn)的辯護(hù)。他說(shuō)：“我的當(dāng)事人只是將他的胳膊伸入窗戶，拿走了幾件東西。他的胳膊，不等于他這個(gè)人。所以我覺(jué)得你們沒(méi)有理由因其肢體犯罪而對(duì)整個(gè)人進(jìn)行懲罰?！?/p>

經(jīng)過(guò)一番深思熟慮，法官回答道：“說(shuō)得很好。按照你的邏輯，我判決被告的胳膊入獄一年。他可以陪它一起入獄，也可不必，隨他的便?！北桓婷媛段⑿ΑＴ诼蓭煹膸椭滤麑⒓僦断?，將其放在長(zhǎng)凳上，然后走出了法庭。

“Where Do You Want It？”

“Well， Mr. Jones， you are going to have some injections， and then youll feel much better. A nurse will come and give you the first one this evening，” said the doctor.

In the evening a young nurse came to Mr. Joness bed and said to him， “Im going to give you your first injection now， Mr. Jones. Where do you want it？”

The old was surprised. He looked at the nurse for several seconds， and then he said， “Nobodys ever let me choose that before. Are you really going to let me choose now？”

“Yes， Mr. Jones，” the nurse answered. She was in a hurry. “Where do you want it？”

“Well， then，” the old man answered with a smile， “I want it in your left arm， please.”

“你想把針打在哪里？”

“瓊斯先生，你得打幾針，然后就會(huì)覺(jué)得好多了。今晚護(hù)士會(huì)過(guò)來(lái)給你打第一針。”醫(yī)生說(shuō)。

晚上一個(gè)年輕的護(hù)士來(lái)到瓊斯的床前，說(shuō)：“瓊斯先生，我現(xiàn)在要給你打第一針。你想把針打在哪里？”

這位老人感到很驚訝。他看了護(hù)士片刻，然后說(shuō)：“以前從來(lái)沒(méi)有人讓我選擇?，F(xiàn)在你真的想讓我來(lái)選擇嗎？”

“是的，瓊斯先生，”護(hù)士回答道。她得抓緊時(shí)間?！澳阆氚厌槾蛟谀睦?？”

“嗯，那好，”老人微笑地回答道，“那就請(qǐng)你打在你的左胳臂上吧?！?/p>