上期回顧
大自然從來都不吝嗇于給予,絢麗繽紛的自然風光,深深吸引著我們,隨時帶給我們美妙和興奮。
白洋淀是華北平原最大的淡水湖泊,這里風光秀美,資源豐富,被譽為“北國江南”、“華北明珠”。
白洋淀最吸引人的當屬水鄉(xiāng)風光,而且隨季節(jié)不同景色各異:春季蘆葦叢生,滿湖青翠;夏季荷花初綻,風光旖旎;秋季蘆花紛飛,魚鴨滿淀;冬季湖面冰封,瑩潤如玉。著名的景點有鴛鴦島、民族島、荷花淀、九龍?zhí)兜?。在鴛鴦島上,你可以乘坐纜車,從空中俯瞰碧波蕩漾的水面。荷花淀則是名副其實的荷花的世界,春天,小小的荷苞在水中若隱若現(xiàn),一到夏季,荷花淀里一派生氣勃勃,千畝荷花競相爭艷,滿淀飄香,景致之美,簡直難以言喻。
北京楊玥
The Baiyang Lake is the largest freshwater lake in the North China Plain. With its exceptional beauty and abound resources, this land is crowned as the 'Grace Southern China in the North' and the 'Bright North China Pearl'. Here,water brings this area its most enchanting views which put on various displays in different seasons: the lake is lush green with the flourishing reed in spring; the newly blooming water-lilies present a charming and beautiful summer; then, with the autumn reed catkins dancing with the wind, the lake turns into a paradise for the drakes, ducks and fish; winter is a time to appreciate the jady icebound lake which is so glittering and translucent. Many of Baiyang Lake's famous attractions are specific, such as the Mandarin Duck Island, the Ethnic Group Island, the Water-lily Lake and the Nine Dragon Pool, etc. In the Mandarin Duck Island, you can take a ride in a cable car, overlooking the blue water surface dancing and sparkling in the sunlight. The Water-lily Lake is a delightful place for the water-lily indeed and in name. In spring, the little buds of the water-lilies peek through the water, while in summer, thousands of mou of water-lilies compete each other to bloom. The lake, sweet with the flowers, takes on a very lively and exuberant scene. If there was any word which means more beautiful than "indescribable beauty" for the vista of the Water-lily Lake, then I would use that.
外編點評:譯得不錯,讓人讀起來賞心悅目,運用了大量的詞匯,但是在措辭和用法方面也有一些問題。大多數(shù)自然景色不用定冠詞來修飾,一般說成Baiyang Lake(白洋淀)或者Mount Everest(珠穆朗瑪峰)。當翻譯一些漢語詞組時,常常將名詞轉(zhuǎn)換為形容詞,或者將詞組的結(jié)構(gòu)重新調(diào)整,在英語中實現(xiàn)相同的效果,所以應(yīng)譯成“the Bright Pearl of North China”或者“the grace of Southern China in the north”。此外,abound是動詞,文中應(yīng)該使用形容詞形式abundant。Jade一詞讓人疑惑,應(yīng)該說成jade-like(玉石般的)。最后,一般take on 不與 scene連用,可將scene改為view。
廣東 楊斯毅
With beautiful landscapes and aboundant resources, Baiyangdian, famously known as 'Northern Jiangnan' and 'North China Pearl', is the largest freshwater lake in the plain of North China. What most attracts tourists in Baiyangdian Lake is its waterland scenery which varies with change of seasons. In Spring, the reed shoots come out and the whole lake is full of green. In Summer, the lotus flowers bloom slightly, adding a splendid view to the lake. In Autumn, numerous reed catkins fly into the sky while fishes and ducks swarm into the lake. In winter, boundless ice on the lake is just like jade, shinny and delicate. The well-known scenic spots here include the island of Mandarin Duck, the Mingzhu Amusement Park, the Lotus World and Nine-Dragon Pool, etc. By siting in a cable car, you can take a bird's eye view at the green and rippling water of the lake. In Lotus World, as what its name means, comes virtually a world of lotus flowers. Small lotus bracts float gleamingly on the water in Springtime, but when it comes to summer, the Lotus World immediately overflows with vigour, for thousands of acres of lotus flowers would strive to present their beauty, with fragrance of locuses spreading across the whole lake. In a word, the beauty of the lake, is simply more than words can explain.
外編點評:翻得不錯,但是后半部分稍遜色一些。注意介詞的使用,例如,應(yīng)該是attracts tourists to、take a look at或have a view of。另外,可以直接說成when summer comes,不需要使用被動語態(tài),此句中也不應(yīng)使用“would”?!癆s what its name means”用法錯誤,可以改為as its name suggests或lives up to its name。另外需要注意拼寫錯誤,應(yīng)該是abundant、lotuses、shiny。最后需要注意的是盡量不要使用“in a word”進行總結(jié),可以改為in summary、to conclude或者in brief。
北京 譚思敏
Baiyangdian is the largest freshwater lake in the plain of North China. The scenery is splendid and the resource are rich, which is called 'the south of River' and 'bright pearl' of North China. The most attractive scenery in Baiyangdian is located in a region of rivers and lakes. Besides, it shows different scenery with changing seasons. In spring, the edge of the lake is fringed with reeds. In summer, the lotus flowers bloom with an enchanting scene. In autumn, reed catkins fly all over with being full of ducks and fish in the lake. In winter, the lake froze over with shining and white as a jade. The famous scenery include 'the island of escript duck', 'the island of nation', 'the lake of lotus' 'the lake of nine dragons' and so on. On the 'island of escript duck' you could take the cable car, looking down the ripples of blue water from the sky. 'The lake of lotus' is really the world of lotus flower. In the spring, the tiny lotus buds appear indistinctly in the water. In the summer, the lake is full of life with the flowers fully opening, the fragrance spreading all over beautiful scenery. How indescribable it is!
外編點評:“白洋淀”最好譯成Baiyang Lake,而不是Baiyangdian,后者更便于外國人理解。但是也沒有固定規(guī)則,視情況而定,例如,很多譯者將“五臺山”譯作Wutaishan而不是Wutai Mountain。譯文其他部分很不錯,尤其是對四季景色的處理,將每季景色簡化但使人印象深刻。但是譯文使用with過多,如可以說成creating an enchanting scene 、the lake freezes over shining as white as jade。選用形容詞而不是短語這點也非常好,用indistinctly(朦朧地)來代替對荷苞的字面描寫;結(jié)尾的indescribable用得也很到位。
下期題目
北京,文化古都,時尚名城,美景目不暇接,美食口齒生香,幾個世紀以來,北京以她的
古韻新律不斷吸引著來世界各地的人們。
胡同是北京的象征,它們綿長而優(yōu)雅,像密密麻麻的血管一樣,遍布在這個城市的每個角落;它們是一種不可復(fù)刻的文化,千姿百態(tài),或敞亮,或幽深,卻都保存著最老舊的生活形態(tài)和最原始的京味兒,濃得化不開;它們歷經(jīng)幾個世紀的風雨,見證數(shù)百年的歷史,平靜地看著北京城的崛起、沉淪與新生,自己卻像耄耋老人般,在時代車輪的碾軋中漸漸消逝。面對現(xiàn)代文明的淹沒,我們也許無力留住什么,但我們至少能做一名忠實的記錄者,用心體會、用鏡頭留存這個城市最草根的歷史片段——只有感受是真實的,也只有記憶是永恒的。
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